This is brazil:tatoos, braces, knuckle cracking and tourist guides!

Well was trying to download photos but as usual not working so you will have to imagine. 3 weeks left and i have to say travelling in brazil is like been in a ghost town so much for the land of samba the hostels are dead in the one im in now behind me is a 50 year old women watching sopas and about 2 other people here and this has been the pattern throughout. There is nobody travelling and its boring for Bean.

i have asked people what is going on and ive had answers ranging from a shrug of the shoulders ranging to the fact that the brazilian banks have been on strike now for about 2 weeks and getting money is not always possible. To be honest there strikes look no different to when they are working basically sit in a deck chair. Hopefully when i hit rio things will liven up.

Ahh so what have i learnt about brazil well they are not modest! they celebrated getting the 2016 olympics by annoucing on the news that they are the greatest nation in the world and then listed how they basically rule the world i could have taken it more seriously if the prevoius programme had not involved a talent competition with a gay breakdancer, an old guy who plays the guitar with his only 2 teeth and an 75 year old who can do 20 press ups in 30 secs. The whole event was watched by 50 benny hill type models, now thats entertainement brazilian style. the breakdancer won and judging by what ive seen out here he was probably riding on a wave of popular support. ouch!

Tattos wow, its like been in the uk the fashion seems to be for brazilain girls to get their necks tattoed its incredible its like a from of branding reminds me of marking your cattle on shap fell. perhaps they cant remeber their name or date of birth.

Braces, now in the uk arent braces for goofy teenagers? well here in brazil it seems if you aint got a brace your not worth smiling at. never seen so many braces, even news readers. can only think its a vanity thing.

Knuckle cracking: now this is weird but just about every town i go to i have a conversation with somebody who just stand there and cracks their knuckles. its weird, women, men oaps they are all at. was in the taxi the other day and the driver was taking his hands of the wheel to do it totally weird.

Tourist guides: here in brazil they have these guides hanging around bus stations and tourist sites in yellow tshirts saying offical guide. Dont be fooled these guys sole purpose is to try and con people. consider this conversation from the weekend.

Guide: Senor horse and freinds would you like a taxi to the beach 60 reais in total.
Horse:seems a bit expensive
Guide:ok horsey special deal for you 40 reais
Horse:ney i dont really want to go
Guide:ok 20 reais for the 3 of you.
Horse:no no thanks
Guide:i have a family, a small baby who needs milk i want money
Horse:yes my sister has one too
Guide:Milk
Horse:yes tasty im off now
Guide:Desperation now reaching breaking point. Dont go to the beach its dangerous you will be attacked.
Horse:thanks for your help, you really are truely profesional in your job.

this is everyday occurence another guide demanded 10 reais today from me based on the fact that im from europe and on sunday i was close to killing two baggage handlers who picked up my bag when i told them not to carried it 10 meters and then demanded money.

yes what will i do when i come home without having the chance to argue and fight in bus stations i will really miss it i now list arguing with latins as one of my favourite hobbies.

yesterday a woman with 5 children walked up to me pointed at my water and said in portuguese im hot give me your water no please nothing, i pretended i didnt understand and then she said to her ever growing family stupid gringo doesnt understand. Thats right im the dumb one baby machine. honestly its hilarious how rude people can be. these people arent poor they are walking around talking on their mobile phones, just lazy.

anyways off to vitoria tommoorow another overnight bus, the worying thing is i find them cold last night i was in 3 tshirts and a jumper and still shivering on the bus while the brazilains were in tshirts. yes i used to be Cumbrian, better look out my mirindinha gloves for shap fell. How will i cope?

tcahu

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