Senhor horse and friends

Well Brazil is proving to be totally mad. first thing that makes me laugh is that they can not say my name properly to them ross is prounced like horse. so people call me senhor horse its hilarious.

last week i started in joao pessoa, supposedly famous for having the most rainforest of any brazilian town. not sure about that have never been to a town with so many donkeys place was crawling with them. asked a local what the town was famous for and was told having the ugliest woman in brazil! Not true. /however in true brazilian style the place was again crawling with prostitutes, incredible i counted 25 in 100 metres and this is at 6pm with joggers running in between them and families walking around them like its normal? perhaps running betwen prostitutes is an olympic event in brazil!/left the town at 8am and was greeted by the site of a transvestite on the bus in its underwear? weird.

then on to reciefe, here i started to get an insight into brazilian vanity, here in brazil its ahrd to walk down the street without somebody trying to weigh you, hey senhor horse come this way you need to be weighed neh neh. then you enter the supermarket to be greeted by the site of women roller skating down the aisles it supposedly saves time so entertaining. /you leave the supermarket and some random comes upto and tries to take your blood pressure. its vanity central. /went to this bar to get in they use a computer system which means it takes about 15 mins to get in i tried to hand over cash like a football turnstile was met with a look of disgust, we are to cool for that we use cards you run up your bill and then we try to rip you off at the end. lose your card and you have to pay the equivalment of 100 pound. sat in a bar and watched as 10 brazilians took over 2 hours to drink a bottle of beer, incredible while they stroke their hair. then its out the club and into the ice cream palour for diet ice cream! no full fat here. yes brazil is weird there is this desire to look like your in the movies and strut around but when you talk to the people they are really friendly. no danger of disappearing up their own arse.

/then its onto the beach which is supposed to be stress free but the minute you get within 100 metres of the beach you have about 50 people trying to direct tyou to thier seat, honestly yu can feel the energy draining from you once on the beach they try to flog you everything from prawns to religious books. just no rest from it.

/now im in salvador first sight was a middle aged man running down the street in his speedos shouting stop theif call the police as a kid made off down the street.

went out at night where i was told by a guy that the bottle of beer i was drinking was to big to drink from the bottle and that here in brazil we use a glass for such big bottles! thats whats intresting here petty theft, prostitution its all fine but drink from a 600ml bottle and they want to lock you up!

sitting on the beach today with a friend we are approached by this woman in her 50s who proceeds to buy us alcohol and offers me the oportunity of work in her massage palour in switzerland? bizzare. supposedly she has a thai and 2 brazilains working there already!

leave the beach bump into guy in the street from hostel introduces us to brazilian guy he met in the street, we leave him and go to a restaurant, 5 mins later he turns up in the restaurant doing a mr bean table for 1 and beckons for us to go over. happens to be carrying a book on spirituality and a model photo album! cuts out a picture of himself and gives it to us along with his email, msm, mobile number, facebook and address think he wants to be in touch? he then starts flicking through the model book saying yes this is my friend senor horse i think she would be a good person for you to meet! this country is insane you are never alone in brazil! Back at the hostel this girls tells me how she was in her room and she saw a hand coming through the window from outside trying to steal her toliet bag!

last night they tried to charge me 15 quid for 2 beers on their stupid buy now pay later card system when i questioned it the price fell to 6 quid!

ah brazil, its never boring.

boa noite

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