Why I hate tourists

Due mostly to my back-to-back bout with a chest cold and then traveler’s diarrhea, we didn't do much during the rest of our travels through Bolivia and into Peru. We spent time in the cities of Potosi, La Paz, Copacabana, and Puno (see pictures), leaving the hostels rarely. These circumstances left us with little to talk about but home and the activities of the other people living in the rooms surrounding ours. Obviously there are people like us from all over the world coming together in these traveler havens, each with their own story and their own reasons for being there. We are the “tourists”, a nation of people residing for a short time in other peoples’ nations. There is a congregation in every major city around the world. Amongst ourselves we have different languages, clothing, diets, music tastes, even different bankrolls (some of the high rollers like to stay with us other “adventurers”). But despite all these disparities, we are forced to operate as each other’s cohorts and potential friends, the common links being our non-belonging to the culture outside the doors, and the cities/towns/sights/activities/tours/treks/bus rides/etc. we may have experienced, or plan to soon. English is the second language of choice, and this empowers Krysta and I to participate as we choose.

We have been living in these circumstances for a very long time now, and we have found that certain kinds of people reliably evoke certain kinds of reactions from us. We feel this is because we have come to notice that many of the tourists we encounter can be roughly placed into one of a small number of stereotypes:

Short Term Traveler/ Fresh out the Door
M.O.: Optimistic and just happy to be “on vacation,” totes their camera everywhere they go, taking pictures of anything. Always amazed at long-term travelers, either really extravagant (short-termers) or really tight (freshies) with their money.
Trademarks(s): Brand new cameras (usually digital SLRs), suitcases or clean backpacks, engaged in some tour/activity every day, female wears lipstick.

The Long Term Traveler
M.O.: Usually boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife tandems. Adventurous outside the hostel but reclusive inside, they’re uninterested in where you’re from, where you’ve been or are heading next, knowing full well they’ll never see you again.
Trademark(s): small, highly efficient towels, dirty packs, more than one guidebook, usually wearing the same clothes each day, well-worn Tevas, male has facial hair.

The

Potosi cathedral

Socialite
M.O.: Travels to meet new people, found in the common area making new friends.
Trademark(s): Exchanging Facebook info with people they’ve known for two hours. Always talking. Often found in groups of 3-5.

The Party Girl
M.O.: Usually seen traipsing around the pool-less hostel in her bikini and sarong, bragging about how drunk she got, or how late she went to bed, the night before.
Trademark(s): Long uncombed hair and raspy voice/smoker’s cough. Very, very friendly.

The Party Guy
M.O.: Naps all day and parties all night, often in the vicinity of Party Girl & Co. Rarely seen without beer in hand, always misses the free breakfast.
Trademark(s): Unique hairdo, T-shirt/tank top with local beer logo, and excessive winking. Also friendly.

The One-Upper 1
M.O.: Asks about your travels only so they can interrupt with some kind of been there, done that and better story. If you’ve climbed, they’ve climbed higher. Robbed?, they’ve been robbed twice, at knifepoint.
Trademark(s): Typically young Australians or middle-aged Americans, love extreme/unique activities, often traveling alone, usually fit and attractive.

The One-Upper 2 (aka The Under-Seller)
M.O.: Also interested in discussing only their own exploits, but works a different angle, “Oh, I’m just traveling for a short time, this time, just seven months. Just a short trip. This time….”
Trademark(s): Typically young Australians or middle-aged Americans, love extreme/unique activities, often traveling alone, but not fit or attractive.

Dressing the Part:
M.O.: Wears stripy pants and gets fake dreadlocks done on Khao San Rd, and then gets decked out in full Alpaca gear in Bolivia.
Trademark(s): Found sporting at least 3 items of clothing available at the nearest market, often without footwear.

The International Cell Phone User
M.O.: Constantly texting or receiving calls from friends and family at home, even while riding camels or lying on an idyllic beach, typically a short-termer.
Trademark(s): Loudly Skyping with family and friends from home on the hostel computer for hours on end, not interested in other travelers or their experiences.

The Smiths
M.O.: Largely anti-social and always stay in private rooms. Canadians traveling for 15 months who can’t speak any other languages, even French. Regularly ship home artifacts and souvenirs.
Trademark(s): One time English teachers who bailed on their contracts, often seen playing cribbage with a deck of Canadian flag playing cards (in lieu of decals on or backpacks, the more typical “Canadian” stereotype), travel bloggers, and shrewd bargainers, especially in tandem.

These categories have been outlined without judgment, and are intended as a humorous reflection on travelers in general. The truth is, and I would guess everyone who has spent significant time on the road would agree, we hate tourists. Some tourists are ignorant of customs and culture of the places they are visiting, and insult the locals at every turn. Some expect special treatment, believing “customer service” exists the same all over the world, and it is their right to get it. Some litter, some complain about what they ordered at the restaurant, some are outraged when a bus is cancelled or a train delayed. Some are shocked to discover their vegetarian diets are not being catered to. There are all kinds of stupid things they do. Obviously the more experienced travelers are better at being conscientious, but everybody has their bad days.

But … we actually feel that our reactions to these situations say more about Krysta and I than the people we are referencing. Why is it so difficult for us to just accept that these people have made a mistake, or things just aren't going their way? It is because they remind us of the qualities we dislike about Western culture, of which we are members. They remind us that what we are doing is not as special or unique as we like to think it is. They remind us of that time we were disrespectful to a group of people or inconsiderate to a waitress. They remind us of ourselves. The fact is Krysta and I have done as much ridiculous shit as anyone else. We are just two more stupid tourists, offending and consuming our way around the world.

Reconciliation? I guess the best that I can offer is that we are trying to do better. At least now we are aware. We are discovering that life while traveling is the same as life in any other circumstance. It involves learning from our mistakes and moving forward with better decisions next time. It involves taking better care of the people and the environment around us. It involves developing a better understanding of the macro so we can nurture the micro. Oddly enough traveling has taught us that for the long term, we would rather be at home.

And so it goes.

We are healthy and happy and doing interesting things.

The panorama is of La Paz.

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