Wino...Why Not?

27 - 31.10.08 Salta
Cross the Bolivia border at Villazon and enter La Quiaca, Argentina. Take a bus to Salta, which instantly feels like a return to civilisation.

The city features a distinct European flavour including impressive architecture and a modern infrastructure absent from the previous places we have visited - while the locals no longer all seem to be swimming in the same gene pool!

Wake up and smell the roses while wandering around the attractive communal gardens - it´s like a walk in the park:) Take a cable car ride to a mirador overlooking the city. The aerial view ofers me a newfound sense of direction, which is immediately lost when I return to earth!

So bad, it flirts!
Could everyone please stop checking out my girlfriend? Flo attracts admiring glances and more from all sways of Latin Lover - indiscriminate of age, social status and even sexual persuasion! What about me?

Eventually, I get blown a whistle from a group of schoolgirls. My ego swells from teen spirit...until Flo reminds me that I am ´easily´ old enough to be their father:(

Later, Flo will receive an indecent proposal from a man old enough to be her father - but he is no Robert Redford nor a millionaire.

Meat feast
Having saved myself for an Argentinian steak since arriving in South America, we order the most expensive cut on the menu accompanied by a fine bottle of wine.
It arrives large enough to drive through a vampire´s heart. And, tastes good enough to convert the strictest vegetarian. It´s a meal worthy of any last supper.

Hair apparent
Get told that my hair resembles a player from the Argentinian national football team (Lionel ´Messy´ perhaps?). It´s a cutting statement!
Resolve to find a hairdresser and a pair of suitably large sunglasses when we reach Buenos Aries.

01-04.11.08 Cafayette
Take a bus to Cafayette, a place renowned for the finest wines known to humanity. The small, quaint town is picturesquely set in the heart of a valley surrounded by lush vinyards.

Inadvertedly, meet two Australians on route when I bottle I´ve stowed above my head falls and closely misses them - there´s nearly claret everywhere:) We will become firm friends fuelled by alcohol over the next few days.

Our stay begins responsibly. We take wine tasting tours of the rustic bodegas around town and watch a philharmonic orchestra play an open air concert in the square while an electrical storm lights up the night sky behind.

The next day, we walk 20km across the remnants of a rocky trail to a stunning but hypothermic waterfall. Then, return invigorated for a celebratory glass of red, red wine at our hostel´s roof terrace. It´s the beginning of the end...

Alcohol, the cause and solution to all life´s problems (Homer J Simpson)
The hostel owners are aware of the obvious eventuality before us. The fuss they cause leads to a rare show of solidarity and all of us ´less than magnificent seven´ leave for a new venue - where we continue to drink wine (practically intra-vino-ously!). Later we eat steaks accompanied by more wine at a restaurant. This is when the evening should have ended.

Instead, we venture to a bar and a club where we speed drink cocktails chased with tequilas. None of us can really remember what happened next but each of the four boys has a different, more disastrous story to tell in the morning...

Ray spends the evening in a cell. Kieron suffers a series of unexplained injuries. Rob kisses a transvestite. And, Mr. Wendall is expelled from a second hostel - sleeping with stray dogs in the central square!

We all leave town the next day - and these Argentians won´t be crying for our return.

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