Auckland..saw oil refinery, toilets, hurt my bum.

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New Zealand I never really gave you a chance did I? In my planning to get to my holy grail and dive Rangiroa I found the only way that wasnt going to require 30 hours in transit was via Auckland and onto Papeete. I have a lot of friends in NZ, people I wanted to catch up with. So I decided to stay a few days on my home but realised after I had planned everything I had forgotten one thing. Work. My summer semester break was not as long as I wanted it to be, so somehow between timezones I ended up with about 65 hours in NZ. So much for a week catching up with old friends, meeting new ones and having a look around this lovely country.

On the return from my little jaunt around French Polynesia I had arranged with a girlfriend to pick me up from the airport. Joanne Sullivan Guessler, award winning sculptor of the life sized Phar Lap statue in Timaru had kindly offered to put me up in her Auckland studio apartment. Joanne would be working the next day so I planned to meet up with Jo from Travelblog for a coffee and another friend for dinner..except Joanne changed her mind and took a few days away from her craftsmanship to come out and play.

My flight from Faaa had been delayed, and somehow, somewhere, I lost a day and still cannot figure out where but I suspect it was my experience with Captain Partypants leaving Rangiroa meaning another night in Tahiti and one less night in FP..although im still not sure that is entirely correct. Jo and I had been ''facebook'' and racing industry friends for a few years and I recognised her instantly as i came out past the film crew and border security people with no dramas for once. She probably thought what is this disheveled creature that was covered in tuna poo only a few hours earlier. Id gotten most of the Tuna poo off after my last minute freedive in Moorea before heading to Tahiti but had a sneaking suspicion i still smelled fishy. And it was COLD. Australia had been in the grip of a brutal summer heat wave and Id spent the best part of that month in tropical Polynesia so was quickly reaching for a hoody. We arrived at Jo's studio apartment just in time to see a baby hedgehog walking across the road. Id never seen a hedgehog before let alone a baby cutely dawdling across the road. Jo was probably thinking what the hell have I gotten myself into here? a fishy smelling funny talking australian who is demanding I stop the car so she can go and chase hedgehogs.

After the hedgehog incident we settled into talking long into the small hours, heading to bed as the sun came up. The next day Jo decided she would take some time off and wanted to do something she had always wanted to do but never gotten around to. Horse riding on the beach. A south african expat Jo had as long a love as horses as I did and wanted to show me something beautiful and typically NZ. Her south african accent had mingled with the clipped kiwi accent into something out of a expensive south african kiwi type finishing school. She rang Pakiri Beach horse hire. Now women are funny creatures, horsey women even more so.

The conversation went a little like this - Jo: Hello, yes, we'd like to hire some horses - oh a 3 or a 5 hour ride? - yes 5 should do it, ive ridden endurance marathons across Africa, 3 is way too short. We're both very experienced riders, we dont want anything green we are not training horses for you and we would like something with a bit of spirit in it thanks, no mokes we have to keep pushing away at. Right, good and we will take a chalet overnight. Thanks.

In my head this translated to - 5 hours? you're kidding, thats going to hurt my bony backside..experienced? yes maybe 20 years ago but i havent ridden a horse for at least 5 years for any substantial time let alone going for a nice canter along the beach. What is a moke?

Lady on the other end of the phone - Right, here we go, so you think you can ride do you? Ahh, ladies do I have a couple of horses for you snigger snigger.

I think she thought we thought we were female versions of Glenn Boss and Frankie Dettori. We are neither, just a couple of middle aged women. Out of riding shape at that too.

Now Jo is a go getter type person. Pakiri beach? hmm, she had a canoe, and a tent, and suddenly after our 5 hour horse ride we were going camping, fishing and kayaking at the bay of plenty. So this resulted in a few hours of two women trying to work out how to put on roof racks and tie down a kayak and assorted trips to and from the store room for camping gear and a quick stop at the saddlery store to buy Jo some gaitors - an investment I wish I had made. Jo even managed to slip Willow her dog into the kennels so we were free.

We made it to Pakiri as the sun started setting, debating if we were going the right way, wondering if we should stop and get fuel, Jo asking me to read a map that had some vague roads marked but not the right ones so we ended up arriving at Pakiri beach horse hire and Chalets with no food and very little fuel, but we had wine. As soon as we cleared Auckland I got to see why people say NZ is so beautiful, it really was stunning scenery even in the height of summer. The road down to the chalets was white dust, so different from our red dirt. Everything was so lush. And we were so lost.

Eventually we got to a bend in a road and decided if this wasnt the right place we would have to turn and head back to Leigh. I spotted horses and we finally pulled in to meet our host, grab a key and find out the kitchen was closing and there was nothing to eat other than two raw eggs. Sharley gave us some strange directions to our purple cabin which had a set of single bunks, a tiny table and two plastic chairs next to the bathroom and kitchen dorm. The dorms seemed to be old stalls that had been converted for school holiday horse riding camps. They were insanely cute...and I was starving. We threw our stuff in and walked across a plank over the creek and wandered over the dunes to the beautiful beach. I stood ontop of the dunes and looked at the grey ocean to one side and the lush NZ rolling fields to the other and smiled. And remembered I was hungry.

In the kitchen chalet the stove didnt seem to be working, nor could I find any way to cook the eggs in the microwave. So, remembering back to Uni day I spied the kettle and started boiling the eggs, hitting the kettle a few times, assuring Jo it was possible to cook eggs in a kettle. Indeed it is, but on the final boil, I blew the kettle up. Ooops.

More talking late into the night and climbing up onto the top of the single bunk made me feel like a kid again. I woke looking forward to riding, having discussed the condition of the horses (perfect) and my preference - I did not want a mare, nor did I like strawberry roan horses. Guess what I got..a strawberry roan mare with one blue eye and one brown eye. Jo's horse was a thickset bay gelding. Both had enough drop nose bands on to tell me instantly these horses probably had no brakes and very little steering. I was right. Our ride started out at a sedate walk. Sadly we came onto the beach just before a pack of gulls so full they couldnt and wouldnt move. Someone had been dynamite fishing and the beach was littered with dead fish. The birds looked at the horses and seemed totally in a food coma to the point where they would rather be trodden on by horses than bother trying to fly. Horses and flocks of birds generally do not go together, but we got through them, the horses walking gingerly suspiciously eyeing the gulls the gulls eyeing the horses with a oh i cant be fkd look.

And then Jo said, right shall we have a little canter then?. Sharley who owned the horse hire place had sent us out with a young girl riding a lovely arab named Lilly (the horse, i forget the girls name) who seemed intent on kicking Jack (Jo's horse) in the head every time he tried to get behind her. So I played the UN and propped my horse - Pinky - between the two. A little kick and off we went..and went..and picked up speed. Pinky and Jack had obviously not been ridden for quite some time and decided that they too would teach these old ducks on their backs a lesson. Lilly the little arab was disappearing behind us as Pinky and Jack decided to have a race along the beach with Jo and I clinging on for dear life to the sound of the guide yelling TURN THEM TOWARDS THE SAND DUNES!!!!!!!!

I was about to settle this little racing thing between NZ and Australia once and for all (Ok, so you bred Phar Lap but hes OUR horse, he represented Australia and was trained here) or fall off, the second being the more likely, so turning towards the sand dunes seemed like a rather good idea. Luckily Pinky and Jack had some steering if no brakes and did head for the dunes and slow down to a stop leaving us puffing and Lilly and her rider playing catch up. We then rode through the forest with my stirrup now cutting a groove into my ankle as I had no proper riding boots on so every time we went for a canter i bled a little more. Bleeding is Ok, falling off and breaking bones is not. I wanted to get to Perth in one piece. By the time we had done enough mad canter trails and finally headed back my backside was numb. Handing the horses over to the handlers waiting for us I instantly jumped off and did some deep stretches knowing this was going to hurt in a few hours. We were sitting talking with Sharley when I noticed a wifi sign and decided to check into see when my flight was..lunchtime the next day. WHERE did that extra day go?.

By the time we left Pakiri Jo was on a mission to show me as much as possible and Sharley advised that I simply MUST go and see the toilets. Jo had mentioned the toilets before. Strange people these New Zealanders..toilets as a tourist attraction?.

The toilets and some tree were a must. So into the car we piled and headed up the dual coast motorway to Paihia and around the Bay of Islands which was truly beautiful. We decided to have dinner there on our way back, Jo promising me these fush and chups were the worlds best. Somehow we took a wrong turn and ended up at New Zealands only oil refinery, which by oil refinery standards looked to be quite nice. We drove past redwoods along twisty verdant roads to Keri Keri looking for something that Jo couldnt quite remember so we couldnt quite find it so turned back and went past the Whaitangi treaty grounds before stopping at Paihia for fush and chups. After our fush and chups we headed back onto the dual coast motorway and detoured to Kawa Kawa to see..the toilets.

I loved the toilets, peeing in a mosaic artwork was a new experience. The theory is if the toilets were made to be art then the people would take care of them - and they were among the cleanest public toilets ive ever seen in the world.

After leaving Kawa Kawa darkness set in - New Zealand doesnt seem to get dark until about 9pm which is just when we hit the road again, and when Jo told me she hates driving at night and cant see very well. So, I got to drive in NZ. When the signs beside the road indicate a curve and a speed limit i found it prudent to pay attention as they really do mean take this curve slowly or you will end up extinct. We finally got back to Auckland at midnight just intime for me to have a shower, repack everything and grab a few hours before heading to the airport after a quick stop for a bite to eat at the citys working farm.

So New Zealand, our cousins across the ditch, our brothers in arms, I rather like you as a country. I envy your greens and mountains. I will see you again shortly. Next time, I will bring a cushion 😊

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Photos

Jo's sculpture at Timaru
Phar Lap, the AUSTRALIAN trained racing legend :)

Tree Dead?
No problems, turn it into a warlock!

Something
Apparently this is important to New Zealanders

Yeh Right!
Trust a mare with one blue eye and one brown eye??

Arab Stallion
Gypsy Gold

Recycling into Beauty
Kawa Kawa Public toilets

Comments

[D MJ Binkley]

Don't forget the cushion
Hopefully next time you'll see more of NZ

[littlewing]

I hope so!