Cyclonic Dreams: A Shark Bay Experience

It only took a day, really, to get here from Dongara. I got picked up late, after I had been misinformed of my pickup spot in Dongara, and fortunately was found by a very experienced driver just before he was ready to give up. We arrived in Kalbarri and had a great seafood meal, but I found myself betwixt two groups, and quite separated from both. Leave it to me to pick an anti-social seat. But it was amusing to find that the mostly Irish group decided to mummify the driver's apprentice. Good times.

Arriving in Shark Bay on the tail of Cyclone George (just a note, a cyclone is a hurricane that rotates in the opposite directions due to something you punks may have heard of called the Coriolis Effect - This is noteably different from the cornholios effect some of you Beavis and Buthead fans may be confusing it with.), I was excited to find that the beauty of the rest of the western coastline had not bypassed here, if anything the crystaline tepid waters with an impressive salinity were even more beautiful.

What's more is that the bay sports one of the most diverse and plentiful aquatic bioregions in the world. It houses, for instance the largest concentration of sharks per cubic meter in the world. Along with the sharks live bottlenose dolphins, dugongs, turtles, sea snakes (who's venom makes the taipan look like a pansy - but they don't bite) and an impressive array of, well, rays. There's plenty of things here to kill you too. There's a small crustacean that can, and will shoot off poisonous barbs strong enough to kill a person (don't pick up the sea shells if you go diving).

Perhaps the coolest things there are the stromatolites - the oldest known life form on earth. They are our most distant ancestors. What you actually see is the fossilized feces of the bacteria, but they're essentially black rocks along the shore of the hyper-saline bay. They're not exactly action packed, but the concept behind them is pretty amazing really.

My first few weeks have been nothing short of eventful. I came here for work, and frankly, I needed to dry out a bit. Dope up on sun and surf rather than piss and party. I've drank far too much in the last nine months and really find that I just don't enjoy it now. Perhaps it's a sign that I'm finally maturing, or perhaps just a bodily rebellion late in the game, but either way I came here to Denham looking for a recharge.

Denham is a small, but active little town of only a few hundred people. On the surface, it doesn't appear that there is much to do here, but you soon realize there's a lot more going on than meets the eye. For one, Denham is an extremely musical town with a great deal of local talent, which is surprising for its small stature. We went to check out the open mike night at the lawn bowling club, which a couple of pommie (English) girls decided was the closest they were going to get to Karaoke, and have been shunned and tutted at ever since. The woman who runs it keeps coming up to Stacey and muttering scornfully "not acceptable," while she shakes her head. Admittedly the performance was "memorable," if "traumatizing."

On my first day of work at the Heritage Resort, I scored a private room for half the price of the hostel with two of the guys I work with. But as it turns out, I had rented a room with two of the craziest people not only in Denham, but perhaps in all of Western Australia, if not western civilization. They were constantly high and drank like demons. I had a hint when I moved in and found ALL of the dishes soaking in the laundry room, that this may be only a good deal superficially. Two days later, finding my head duct taped and having to peal it from my sober head, hair an all, I figured this was not the recharge spot I had planned on.

It was my fault really. The moment I said to the already duct-taped heads in the car "I definitely need to get a picture of this," I realized the gravity of my mistake - rule number one, don't be noticed by drunk people who control the power of the duct tape. I had done myself in. I, unfortunately did not have the alcoholic anesthetic when I pulled the duct tape from my over-shaggy hair - ouch. I moved out the next day. It's not that they aren't nice enough guys - but they crazy!

Life at the hostel, though perhaps more expensive, is much more interesting. Great people abound, and John and Kirsty are fully prepared to go all out for their guests. Nowhere else have I been so thoroughly treated to free hospitality as I have been here at the Bay Lodge backpackers. John is eager to take people out snorkeling, fishing, sightseeing, shooting at the range, and a wide variety of other activities. The cost: My favorite price, free! They're amazing folks.

In addition, the Shark Bay Safari Tours run by Leon is the best value for money tour I've been on in all of Australia. For one, he took us all over the peninsula, and second, he was a veritable library of information fully of great stories and interesting facts, with a passion for that great traveler, the great granddaddy of pirate mythology, Black Bill. He also coined the term "Barbeque," immortalizing himself forever in Australia. What's more is I've never had Asian-fusion emu stir fry before in my life and it was the best meal I've had in months. It was brilliant.

Work has been good too. I actually kind of like it. I'm not sure why, but I've really enjoyed the stocking-up part of my job. Maybe it's because it's goal oriented - I don't know. Perhaps it is just a desire to feel useful, but either way I'm quite happy to take whatever hours they give me in order to make some money and fulfill the ever present desire to feel like I'm making some kind of contribution. I don't like that my boss seems to think I can't figure things out on my own - and feels that it's necessary to give my inane directions that I'm going to follow out on my own good time - but then I think: I can't give a damn if he's a control freak, because I'm out of here in a month's time anyway.

Actually he's not so bad. Both he and Beate are lovely people, and Des just likes to feel that he's in control of the universe, as many of us do. The funny thing is that it's the other way around, isn't it (that's called a rhetorical question folks).

It's amazing how tanned one can get in a place like this, ever wearing 30+ sunscreen daily. I didn't realize just how tanned I have become until I caught a glimpse of my very white butt in the mirror after getting out of the shower. Normally, I just dry off there and put my boxers on or towel around me. On this particular occasion, however, I left both on the towel rack across the room. I tell you, I was nearly blinded by the whiteness. I haven't seen whiteness like this since I was in England! The contrast was startling.

One of the most fun things I've done was going out to try to catch shovel-nosed sharks. Now, I was confused when we went out - I didn't hear the instructions and thought we wre just chasing them around in the shallows. Damn, eh! If I had only known - I'm sure I could have had one. I understand you're confused at this moment. You don't use a hook and bait to catch them - what's the fun in that. Instead you run after them in the shallows and if you get close enough you hurl yourself on top of them and pull them up out of the water. That's good times. I was so close to one that I actually slowed down. This is what you get for being a poor listener. I coulda been a contender.

The other was feeding the Dolphins at Monkey Mia. I went with a group of English (pommes - see you're catching on) I had met at the hostel, to go check out the dolphins. I'd been to Monkey Mia before, once on the tour, and once I hitched out there with a Czech couple who were kind enough to make me part of their "family"so I didn't have to pay. The dolphins come right up close, and there were babies to be seen. What's more is I got to be one of the people chosen to feed them. Adam also got picked, the girls did not. They weren't impressed, but we decided they had some special sense and only picked the best people when they couldn't otherwise meet their quota.

Actually, one volunteer had told me that they were given instructions to choose one child, one woman, one man, and one Asian to feed the the dolphins. They didn't really believe me when I told them, but sure enough, after the little boy, man, and woman were picked in the first feeding, the woman said "Will the Asian man come up to feed the dolphin please." Victory is sweet. It was the second feeding where we got picked. Adam was the little girl, and I the Asian on this particular occasion. It was a good time and the bunch of them were good fun. They appreciated my impersonations, so I threw them in shamelessly.

The last couple of days have proven immensely blustery. It's nearing the end of cyclone season here, and they generally don't get this far south, but in order that we don't feel left out of the gales, mother nature has conjured a way for the cyclone to suck air right down from Albany, all the way up the coast to where Kara is meant to be hitting the shoreline somewhere in the vicinity of Wallal - somewhere I will probably not be visiting.

Until next time, I bid you a blustery adieu.

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