Adelaide and the Legend of Evil Santa

When I called Kat up before I arrived to clarify a few logistical points, Kat wanted to clarify something with me: "Let me ask you a question," she said. "For Christmas eve would you rather go to the pub or go to church?" There was silence on my end for a moment as I considered: Is this a trick question? Then shyly said: "Um the pub." I was much relieved when she told me that the pub was what she had had in mind herself. Wheeww!

I had my introduction to cricket. Honestly, it's more of a re-introduction, as my childhood friend Alikhan from Kenya (I know, very international) tried to teach me whn I was 11. Since then, I've drawn a bit of a blank. What's more, although I know cricket is a sport, the Jiminy variety of crickets has been much more present than the sporting variety. I have, however, learned that this was a moral weakness and that cricket really is an excellent game, mostly owing to the fact that one can continue to hold a beer whilst playing the game and that I sucked less than at least one other person who had no excuse - mine being that I'm Canadian and could not possibly understand a non-ice related game. This, by the way, is also the excuse I use for basketball.

The pub was an excellent time, I must say. Although I had expected it to last well into Christmas eve, it did not quite move so deeply into the evening. Kat became a little, well, lubricated by the festivities and was in need of the porcelain god more than the christian one. I had a really great time, and so did she - quite the social butterfly. But after a significant number of beers and glasses (bottles) of wine, it was time to move on in style. By style I mean an attempt by some (surprisingly, not me) not to throw up. It was a valiant, though failed attempt. I did score some sweet reindeer antlers, which I "stole" from Kat's friend Lauren, though don't really know how I got them in the first place. I will just "look after" them for the time being.

Christmas was a grand affair and the Geddes family treated me with such kindness and warmth that I was instantly enveloped in the day, even though I missed my family a great deal, and was thinking of my friend and his family who lost his father in an accident just a couple of weeks ago. I'm extremely sad for them and will be writing them shortly. They were so generous and even involved me in the gift giving, despite not knowing me a lick two days earlier. We spent the day in typical Australian style, eating, drinking, laughing and carrying on. Among the many tasty treats were the obvious goodies: Prawns. They were not, however, thrown on the barbie. I'd never peeled prawns before, and I have to say that it's an awful lot of work for the little bit of meat at the end of it. We also went to the beach, which is fairly typical, but it was a cold, blustery day. Ironically, while Calgary was brown and warmish, several parts of Australia got snow. We came back from dinner late, and played Uno, late into the night. I was the winner, by a wide margin, mostly owing to no skill of my own, and simple mind control powers, er, I mean dumb luck. Yes, that's the ticket.

The Geddeses are wonderful people, and greatly amusing to listen too; their sarcastic humour is a thing I miss from home. Matt reminds me a little of my own little brother. When I mentioned as much, he asked if my brother was also taller and better looking than me. I had to laugh - heartily - it was funny, because it's true.

All things considered, Australian Christmas is very much like the Canadian one. I enjoyed it very much.

The Strangest Christmas tradition, which I have been waiting to tell you about since early September is the Belgian / Dutch story of Santa. In Dutch tradition, Santa has a slave. Sure you could say that his elves are rather slavish in the degree and conditions they work in. And the old claymation special Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer shows, Santa's little workshop is a rather Authoritarian regime, strengthened by their hatred of gay dentists. Shame on Santa and a pox on the North Pole.

But in Dutch tradition, both in Belgium and the Netherlands, Santa takes his wayward stance on slavery to a whole other level. There, Santa has a much adored "helper," Zwarte Piet. Now Zwarte Piet is looked upon with great love, but it does not change the fact that Santa makes a minstral-style black man do his dirty work. As my friend Lena was explaining this to me I started laughing because I was certain she was taking the piss out of me. I soon recognized the error of my ways: she was explaining this in all seriousness, and didn't see the more ominous message - Santa is Evil. I have thus taken it upon myself to expose Evil Santa for who he is: A current or former biology professor at my undergraduate university. My buddy Andrew and I used to spend most of our biology session writing comics on the Adventures of Evil Santa, and I've provided one here for you in the tradition of old.

Now back to Adelaide. Boxing Day (for those of you in America that's an extra day off after Christmas on the 26th take that 4-day Thanksgiving!) was a lazy affair. We spent a good part of the day watching Cricket. I am surprised at how much I'm enjoying it now that it makes sense. You can wander off and generally not much happens. It's a great sport to watch while you have other things to do, or just want to stare at the tube.

Feeling restless, I booked myself a 10 day tour leaving from Adelaide on the 2nd and going up to Uluru and back. I'm stoaked about it! In the meantime, we've gone off to see Glenelg, the beachfront community where I saw the world renown Johnny Haysman. Who you might ask is Johnny Haysman? Well heeeerrrrre's Johnny. He's a legend here in Adelaide, one I'm happy to share with you. Read and delight. I finally managed to meet up with my friend Tracey after 2 failed attempts in London, and sampled the decadent grape flavoured drink of the Barossa (pr. Bah-ross-ah) Valley known as "wine," some of you may have heard of it. I think I preferred the colder climate wines of Victoria's Yarra Valley, but there were some really killer wines to be sampled, and the scenery certainly parallels California's Napa Valley. It was a great day, with a nice lunch. Kat was an excellent host, planning, D.D.ing and otherwise taking care of drunk people - me mostly. We'll call it even :)

I managed to top my reading quota for the year. I set a goal each year to reach, this year's goal was 50 books. I made 51. I know, I'm such a nerd it pains you, but I'm okay with it. I've got a few new ones for this year on top of my new book quota. Top among them is to try and fix my acid reflux problem with natural methods rather than medication. I was reading the Globe and Mail, one of Canada's national papers, as I do from time to time to keep up with the news back home, and there in the health section is a warning that my medication is leading to bone density decrease and is not healthy to be taking long term. I'm glad I caught the warning. The universe is definitely looking out for me.

New Year's Eve was a laid-back, but cool night. There's not much to report there though, if the truth be told. I just hung out, drank, ate, and talked with some cool people. I always feel a little out of sorts with large groups of people I don't know. I'm not good at chit chat - I actually hate it, but It's hard to get into a conversation without starting with at least a little of it, and I'm at a loss to figure out just how I do move beyond it. It would be worth paying attention to in the future. Last night, after a few beers and a Jaggerbomb was all I needed to chat up everyone. It's a little silly that we're often too insecure to just be ourselves and talk like normal people until we've lubricated ourselves, and subdued that part of our psyche in an alcoholic stupor. But there you have it - In Vino Veritas (In wine - truth). As the party wound down, the night sped away and I was in bed by just after 5:00am. It was a good way to end my time here in Adelaide.

Thanks for a great time Kat and Co.

Next Up: Uluru.

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