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Published: April 24th 2007
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Marina at night
This is where the well heeled park their yachts in Mooloolaba. This last week has proved both productive and very tiresome all in one. We spent the majority of it in Mooloolaba on 'The Greatest campsite in Australia' and so that softened the blow somewhat. Much of my time was wasted waiting for a response to my initial job enquiry and nursing my lame wife. Coupled with this I had the disagreeable task of having to deal with the campsite manager idiot. These characters truly are a breed apart. They come in both flavours, men and women but they are essentially the same creature. Usually quite chumpy with glasses, thinning hair and an overwhelming sense of self-importance. Generally we first encounter them being super nice to similarly built Australians and then things change dramatically once I open my mouth. Mental shutters come flying down and I am treated with little more than contempt for being a non-huge English person. This generally leads us to getting crappy camp spots as we only have a small 'rig'. These little Hitlers are truly despicable, loathsome characters. The latest one (In Noosa) even tried to deny us a site due to my job searching on the premise that it was strictly a tourist park. I
Emma and a wave
Fortunately Em didn't get washed away in a comedy 'You've been framed' moment. noticed he wasn't so strict with the residents staying for 3 months at a time. Only slightly less sickening are the awful sycophant campers who call all staff by their first names and complain about 'over-nighters'. The disdain we have been treated with in some places is only just palatable because of the fantastic location of the sites and the fact that we have no choice but to soak it up. That said, having stayed in the same place for more than 5 days things begin to change - neighbours start to acknowledge you and staff start to call you mate! I fear we may get a taste for it and become the loathsome sycophants in time, as Mooloolaba will be a frequent weekend retreat.
Our nearest neighbours turned out to be an absolutely lovely couple named Mal and Rita. Mal was the sort of guy you couldn't pass without making or responding to some topical quip. It did put a little pressure on and made me duck back into the van on occasion when I wasn't feeling too witty. Rita took to carrying out an odd routine of 'physical jerks' every morning but it did seem to keep her
Massive crab
You would need a sledgehammer to dress this deep sea bruiser very trim for her years, as Em often pointed out. As we left we were given a business card and an invite to spend some time with them at home. With home being some 4 hours inland that may make for a very interesting outback adventure and I'm sorely tempted to take them up on it.
After the best part of a week having heard nothing regarding possible employment I finally gave in to Em's insistence that I ring the last couple of dentists in the yellow pages. These were characters I felt sure would have nothing for me. I obediently rang the first only to find that he did indeed need some help. An interview/meeting was arranged for the following day. I put my best shorts and flip flops on (only in Australia!) and went to meet my future employer. Now I had previously heard about the 'Cowboy' dentist and thought nothing of it until I saw that the practice logo was actually a sheriff's badge! I half expected saloon doors. The words Cowboy and dentist don't make for an encouraging image. Thankfully Mike turned out to be a lovely guy with a very nice practice and a
Sea dragon
Not just a sea horse goddammit. real interest in all things country and western. Even down to the heavily decorated Cadillac he swans around in. It's fair to say that Mike is a character and it should make the next phase of my working career interesting. There are those who might think that a cowboy practice is the best place for me!
A couple of lessons were learnt that day, don't judge a book by its cover and always do what your wife tells you.
With gainful employment secured we had reason to relax and enjoy the highlights of Mooloolaba. One of which is Underwater World - a huge aquarium and water creature centre. I loved gawping at all the weird and wonderful critters. One of my favourites was the Sea Dragon - an exotically adorned sea horse with delicate appendages to mimic seaweed. I was a little crestfallen whilst marvelling at the tank by a father marching his son past with barely a sideways glance announcing that it was just a bloody seahorse and he wanted to see the sharks. One of the daily shows was Sea lions and Seals doing clever things with balls and fish. One lucky punter got to feed one of
them by hand and he was chosen after an enthusiastic show of hands. I was mildly surprised to see a young man had been selected much to many kids disappointment. It became clear that an adult was the smart choice due to the size of the seal taking the bait. The bait was a whole squid that was thrown for the guy to catch. Upon catching, the squid's innards exploded all over him. This was possibly the funniest thing Em had ever seen and it had her crying with laughter as the poor man picked goo out of his eyes, mouth and ear. Only when the platform he was standing on 'accidentally' collapsed did we twig he was a stooge which took the shine off it a little but there is still only so much you can set up - very funny.
Our final day was spent on the beach and as we walked home along the shore we spotted a wedding about to happen. With Em's newfound obsession with all things bridal she invited herself along to sit at the back. She turned out to be the most enthusiastic guest there even though she didn't know the bride
Wedding on the Beach
The wedding Emma attended, invite or not! and wasn't invited. I think she was secretly disappointed she wasn't given a box with a butterfly in to symbolically release at the end of the ceremony like the other guests. This turned out to be a bit of a flop as most people, not knowing what it contained, managed to crush their boxes leading to many butterfly corpses being scattered.
Back in Noosa now and trying to get some accommodation sorted. This is always a pain in the bum but so far so good. We have applied for a place but it's now in the lap of the weird rental manager lady who seems permanently annoyed but has so much make up on that you truly can't read her at all. I still think it'll all turn out fine. I have agreed to start working in 3 weeks so we can have a few more adventures in the mean time.
Having just spent a very sleepless night since writing this I must now concede a modicum of understanding as to the attitude of campsite managers towards some younger English travellers. We were treated to a full volume conversation at 2 in the morning between 2 scouse girls
Catalogue Model shot
Em took this while I wasn't looking- honest. and a couple of fellas they had picked up during that nights revelling. I am not in the least bit bothered by this and have probably been partially guilty of the same myself (the talking bit, not the picking up fellas bit!) but after an hour of full volume chat and much door slamming other campers were not feeling so charitable. After a few low-key exchanges things briefly went quieter but soon escalated again resulting in the cops being called. Being told to shut up and get back in her van proved a terrible insult to one of the scousers who screamed at the copper
"No one talks to me like that" only to be told that he did and to shut up. It made my heart swell with pride half an hour later to hear the same charming girl tell her 70 year old frail neighbour to "F@#king, f@#ck of you old bitch" Doesn't exactly give us a good name. Thankfully their accents were so strong and unfamiliar to the Australians that the general gossip in the camp at daybreak was about those awful Irish girls.
This morning did yield the good news that our application for a flat has been granted and so no working out of a campervan like a Gypsy for me!
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Chris
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Improper images
Jesus Chief, that "Catalogue Model Shot" literally made me re-coil from my computer. Surely this web site should have safeguards against that sort of photo! Excellent to hear you're getting settled for another chapter out there. I trust you were adequately dealt with for not fixing that drawer when you were supposed to. Hope Em's fighting back. Take care, Chris.