The Bow Bosom Bisms

I am in the bosom of the Bow family in Brisbane, and straight in with the Scottishisms that my auntie Glad and my mum have bestowed on me. I implore all readers to use the word 'Bism' which means something like 'wee bitch' in a naughty child (naughty girl only I think) way. Also add in the sayings 'Jesus Johnny!' in a broad Scottish accent, 'In the name o' God' also in a broad Scottish accent (both are exclamations of surprise or alarm), and 'I'll smack ye, so I will'. My cousin Rick has a nice t-shirt; it says, "Gonnae no dae that'. Use that one too.

I've only been here a couple of days so I'm still settling in, but I'll be here for christmas before moving to Sydney for New Years. The clan here is around 20-strong and spans four generations - there's Gladys (my mum's sister with about 15 years between them) and Dick, then four of their six kids (my cousins Gill Hazel, Rick and Kenny), who have all got their own kids, and the latest addition, my cousin Kelly's two babies Tyson and Bella, who I think I might be falling in love with. Last time I came here in 1998/9 (I can't remember which year, Edd manybe you remember?) Kel and her lovely boyfriend Anthony were sans kids and took me out partying, and to my only drive-in movie (Austin Powers). Now they're all grown up with a lovely house and two babies! and Rickie-Lee who came to pick me up at the bus station with Hazel shocked me as she is also no longer a little girl! She's a big bism! They've all grown up, finished school, got their liscences, got their first jobs and all that in the time I've been away.

I've seen most of the guys now and they're all looking really well and have gorgeous houses (Gill's place is like the hotel in The Shining! it has its own bar and pool table for god sake!), some with acarage and a few horsies between them. They're all keeping me busy with lunches and visitings which is really cool - tiny bit daunting as there's so many of 'em and just one of little me but they're all a scream so it's fun being around them and catching up. Gill is even more mad than before, I just keep quiet and listen while she rolls off the jokes and throws in a few bisms or Glad-isms, and Hazel too. I'll meet cousin Hazel's kids in a day or two, also cousin Rick's lot, and I haven't seen cousin Steve yet but I will. Cuz Kendra, Kelly's sister who lived in London for a bit about 2 years ago and was probably banned from some of Covent Garden's bars - the naughty lady- will be up from Sydney soon for christmas and that will be brill cuz I've missed her. I expect her to come dancing on tables in the city to some fine rock music and hopefully I can drag the rest of them too...

Last night I went to my first Beau Theatricals production, a play written, directed and in some cases acted by Gladys. She runs her own community theatre company here and keeps several kids off the streets and reachin' for the stars and all that jazz. It was loads of fun - pictures attached (hopefully - and sory they're not very good, I'll get better ones). On Saturday something else is happening though as I've handed control of my diary over to the Fam I don't know what, and on Sunday there's a BBQ for Gladys' theatre group and her birthday at Hazel's place which should be fun. Next week I might spend a day in Surfer's Paradise, and Tambourine Mountain, and the Glasshouse Mountains. But generally speaking I'm here to see the Bow clan, chill out, and avoid any more hordes of German teenagers. It's also ridiculously hot and humid here; they've got a category 4 drought here in Brissy - when they say drought here they mean it, as it has ben on for years. But today it rained lightly for an hour or two. But that's not going to fill those empty dams. As Hazel says, if it doesn't change soon they'll be forced to drink 'poo poo water' like the English (as in recycled water, not freshwater like they luxuriate in here). And as I told her, they'll all get rickets. Because that's what we all have from drinking shitty water in the UK, right?

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