Published: December 6th 2005Oceania » Australia » New South WalesNovember 23rd 2005


Rainbows
Earth all around - goregous property
Bangalow - Mullumbimbi, Eureka, Rosebank > the Rainbow Temple Sooo sore from yesterday’s climb! But I go awandering and wandering… op shops, chocolate shop, more op shops, cheap herbal shop, pretty books and things shop - not much else to see here… and then I thought Adelaide was small… Within 5 minutes there were several of us from Joyfest gathered on the steps of ‘Santos’, THE organic shop of Mullum. I can imagine myself in these parts longer term…
Still continuously catching myself trying too hard, and it’s so unsexy I know. Of course as soon as I relax into myself and let go of the incessant self-consciousness that I’ve been clinging onto lately, I find new friendship in anyone… but where is so much self-doubt & hatred coming from?? It’s like I am here alone, a lot, yet I am hardly enjoying my own company. Do I even remember being present to myself on this trip at all? I am enjoying many experiences, but I am finding myself seeking something… someone? I miss companionship and genuine, truthful, giving, loving & sharing. Blaaaah - all empty & meaningless! As quick as that my mood turns.
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