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Published: October 17th 2010
Wow, have I seriously been in Australia for two weeks already? In some ways I feel like I've arrived home, partly because I have a comfy bed and home cooking, but also because the weather has been more British than it is in England itself right now. So much for the Pommie pipe dream of sunshine and surf downunder; all you guys reading at your office desk back home while the Indian summer warms your back through the window will be pleased to hear that it has been blooming freezing here. I've had to go shopping and begging for a hoody and socks! Everyone assures me summer is just around the corner though so hopefully soon I'll be laughing, and back wearing my shorts!
After a few days relaxing, pretending I had jet lag so I didn't have to do anything, and eating lots of delicious Jeff and Mama Vella cooked dinners, it was time to start immersing myself in the Australian culture and way of life. My first lesson came the weekend I arrived, a huge weekend in the sporting calendar with two grand finals and the opening ceremony of the Commonwealth Games. The confusion began immediately, for a
start they call everything football but it isn't footie it's rugby and Aussie rules, and it isn't union it's league (as if that's meant to mean something to me). Still, I cheered along the underdogs as my English upbringing has instilled me to. For the next week I have been subjected to endless abuse as the green and gold Australian athletes pummel the Poms in the pool and on the track in a competition I barely knew existed when I was back home.
Having been introduced to the number one Australian obsession of sport, my next lesson was in the art of outdoor eating. Apparently attempting to eat a simultaneously raw and cremated banger while standing on a soggy patio surrounded by wasps is not the standard definition of a barbeque. So last sunday I was invited to a birthday picnic and shown how the experts do a barbie.
First we drove for an hour to the northern beaches to find the perfect location, a public park on the edge of a sheltered inlet, with scattered trees for shade, a play area for the kids and clean public toilets. Out of the car came huge eskies and hampers. Picnic
tables and chairs were erected, blankets were thrown down for the children, glasses of champagne were handed out to the adults. Dips, chips, cheese and biscuits, homemade chilli nuts and chocolates were spread out for nibbles. Then the men took over one of the gas grills dotted around the park and drank beer and played with fire while the kids jumped around in the water in their pants. Half an hour later a mound of the most succulent chicken breasts I have ever tasted turned up, along with crusty rolls, posh potato and rice salads, avocado, and foot long sausages that were neither pink nor black.
After the feast was devoured kites were used as lethal weapons against promenading grannies, cricket balls were fielded from neighbouring picknickers and the previous weekend's grand final was re-enacted between the families using deckchairs for goal posts.
From picnics in the park to noodles in the park. Sydney has an International Food Festival on this month. Anyone that knows either me or Jeff will realise this was far too big a temptation to be missed, so despite the drizzle we headed over to Hyde Park at dusk for the Asian inspired hawkers market. I
was whisked back to the night markets of Penang and Chiang Mai, the authenticity spot on down to the monsoon conditions and the plastic garden chairs. We gobbled down our pad thai and hokkien, huddled under an umbrella that we had to take turns to hold as the other one ate!
Another lesson I am quickly learning is that when Australians are not grilling meat in the great outdoors, they are sipping flat whites at street side cafes. From The Rocks to Cronulla, Toongabbie to Newtown I have been embracing this aspect of the Aussie lifestyle with glee, supplementing my tea addiction with chai lattes and chocolate frappes. It's a damn good thing that everyone out here has a caffeine addiction though, they're all going to help me support my own as I have just landed myself a couple of jobs. One is in a chocolate cafe, which could either see me breaking the scales or breaking my addiction. My other job is at a funky little independent burger restaurant - a few steps up from Maccie Ds hopefully!
Much of last week was spent on the boring task of finding somewhere to live and support myself. While
the houses I ended up viewing were pretty grim, it was a good excuse to tour around the Sydney suburbs. Being able to jump on a ferry and get a guided tour of the world's most famous harbour using my public transport pass was an added bonus. After three attempts I finally got to see the Sydney Opera House in all her glory, her voluptuous roofs gleaming in the sunshine rather than being camouflaged against a lumpy grey sky. From the harbour to the beach: I glimpsed the Bondi babes from the bus but dipped my toes in the rather un-bath-like waters of the Pacific Ocean at Cronulla, jumping around in the pounding surf with Jeff's niece and nephew.
Having observed the pastimes of the Sydneysiders my next task was to meet the locals that reside in the bush around the city. Firmly marketed at families with young children, I had an absolute ball at Featherdale, a wildlife park just up the road from where I've been staying. Here you can wander around the grounds dodging emus and stroking wallabies. The park has about a hundred koalas and I got to cuddle up to one of their cutest, they
really are as soft as a toy bear. Most of the time they are totally dopey but come feeding time they start making all sorts of weird grunting noises and one mischievous youngster almost made a bid for freedom on Jeff's back! As well as cuddling koalas we coaxed and bribed the kangaroos and wallabies into some petting with ice cream cones filled with food. That's until the emu's wanted in on feeding time and I quickly moved away from their big beaks. As well as all the cute and cuddly animals I geeked up on everything that was likely to kill me in this nation of deadly creatures. In the snake tunnel I tried to memorise the markings of the top 13 most venomous snakes in Australia/the world before giving up and deciding to stick to my tried and tested method of avoiding all snakes full stop.
So concludes my antipodean education so far, I'm sure there's plenty more to learn and discover over the next few months. Like the difference between a schooner and a middy, a redback and a whiteback, Home and Away and Neighbours. Talking of which, I've been using the trashy delights of Home
and Away and the millions of adverts on TV as revision on the Australian humour/psychi. For example, how many crates of beers do you owe your mate for sending inappropriate texts to (a) him (b) his girlfriend (c) his mum?!
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Rob_n_Lorenza
Rob & Lorenza B
A very entertaining blog! Featherdale is a great place. We hope you enjoy your time here. If you ever want a trip to the mountains drop us a line!