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Published: March 2nd 2008
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Tough rider
Just another reason for why I need to start riding motorcycles. You get to wear the cool gear! The job that I had half-heartedly applied for was a live-in nanny job, and for those of you who know me well enough, you’re probably now laughing at the preposterous irony of this fact, since you know I hate kids.
For those of you who may not have known that about me prior to this post, allow me to clarify; I don’t hate all kids at all times, but I definitely despise the omnipresent brats who grow up to be demanding divas thanks to their parent’s lacking ability to raise them properly.
My brother and I were incredibly well-mannered kids, which is probably a natural outcome of growing up with a mother who packs a loaded ZigZauger, but I also think that mom’s never-ending flow of unconditional love may have had a little something to do with our decorum. Either way, she had it all figured out. We weren’t a nuisance to anyone, and we were well aware that the world didn’t revolve around our beings.
Ergo: to me kids aren’t lovable by default, just for being kids. They have to win my heart like everyone else.
But put that aside for a second, and let’s focus on what this
means. A compromise like this one is actually nothing other than proof of how much I love beach volleyball, and to what extents I'm willing to go to feed that addiction; the family lives by the beach. The working hours are only from 4:30PM to 8:30PM, Mon-Fri, which means that I can play loads of volleyball during the day. I’ll have my own room with a double bed, huge closet, my own bathroom, and access to all the goodies of the 6-bedroom mansion, which included a gym and a pool among other amenities. The family is obviously posh, which means I’ll fit in about as well as George W Bush in a gay parade, but never mind that. It’s only going to be for 3 months anyway, and I’m used to feeling like an anomaly.
Let’s hope I get this job.
Yesterday morning Richard took me for a ride on his motorcycle, and it was absolutely amazing. The speed and power of his bike was really impressive, and Richard himself proved to be a sure-handed rider, which allowed me to enjoy the ride rather than worry about leaning to deeply in the curves or passing cars unsafely.
We drove
up to Royal National Park, Australia’s oldest, and it was pure pleasure whizzing through the forest at such high velocity, stopping only to take in the view here and there.
Of course, being the type of person I am, I couldn’t help but wanting to drive the damn thing myself. While overlooking the South Pacific Ocean on my left side, I meditated on the possibilities of getting an Australian motorcycle license, and then I started making plans on where I could get my hands on a decent bike to a decent price. Maybe I could rent one from Richard? He has about 10 of them in his garage, and I’ll have to assume at least one of them is in rideable condition.
The destination of the ride was my job interview with the nanny-agency. Richard dropped me off and drove back to the suburb, and I stayed in the city to enjoy the beautifully sunny day.
Like always, I wanted to get a little bit of internet time, so I went to a chain called Global Gossip, where I had bought a few hours of wireless access a couple of days back. The system lets you connect to their
wireless internet, you log on with your account information, and then it starts the countdown to slowly drain your funds. The place is not very cheap ($4 per hour), so I was pleased when I by mistake found a way to scam them.
They were having problems with the wireless internet, and the area for laptops was full with other users, so I had to sit by one of the stationary computer stations and plug in the network cable directly into my computer. This was quite the revelation; the system didn’t detect my computer as an intruder, and therefore didn’t ask for any login information, it just connected me directly to the web.
So now I’ll just make sure to seat myself in the back where the staff never goes, and enjoy free internet from 150 locations in Australia.
(Mom, don’t get upset over this minor transgression. Think of it as a monetary version of Survival of the Fittest, and pride yourself on your daughter’s ingenuity.)
After a few hours of free internet use I went to one of the many Vietnamese restaurants for some chow, and then headed over to Jett’s bbq. His room mates were really nice
Mardi Gras
Really? Gay guys dancing in practically no clothes? Shocker! people, and I had fun until they all started passing around the joints, at which point I excused myself with the Mardi Gras as a pretext.
When I got on the bus to downtown I only had $50-bills to pay with. I assumed this would be a problem, and it turned out it was. The bus driver looked annoyed to say the least, and started mumbling something about this being a bus and not a freaking bank, but the guy behind me asked him to stop whining, and then he paid for me. “C’mon man, what’s the problem here? $2? I got it, just let her get on.”
Biggest shocker: it wasn’t even a prelude to hitting on me, he was just helping out. My faith in humanity is being restored little by little.
As for the Mardi Gras, it leaves me with one single question: why are so many dykes overweight?
Also, I’m confused by the appeal of the festival altogether. Is there really anything to enjoy here? The overpowering stench of vomit, pot, spilled beer and sweaty armpits is enough to deter me from it, but on top of this you have the massive numbers of people,
Money
Have I mentioned the cool Australia bills? They're plastic with a transparent peep-hole. Very cool. all stampeding like hordes of wilderbeasts through narrow sidewalks in the name of barbarism. It’s nothing but a manifestation of poor taste, and among the many garish outfits - where less really seems to be considered more - one must wonder how many moms and dads sit at home worrying about how far up the slut-ladder their 13-year old daughter will push herself this festive evening.
Just when you thought Sydney was a city of class and elegance. And at which point in history will we finally get to look at flashing neon bracelets as something of the past? Can’t we just evolve and leave that tacky crap behind us once and for all?
I did go to see the madness for a little bit, though, but got sick of it within 15 minutes, as expected. I tried to leave, which of course was impossible. It took me one long, crammed hour before I finally managed to get to a subway station and get on the train back to quiet suburbia where my bed was waiting for me. Richard was having some friends over and he poured me a beer, but I soon retired to my bed where Elsa
Elsa and I
She was pretty upset when she learned I still hadn't mentioned her in this blog. Sorry baby. and I happily drifted off to sleep.
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diana
non-member comment
Nice!
Kul att läsa om vad du gör tjejen! Saknar dig... KRAM