A Word on Words and an Exciting Purchase

A Word on Words and an Exciting Purchase

[Happy Birthday Dad, Kurt and Kimmi!!!!!]

It’s not hard to get understand people here, most words are what you think they are. The words that are different are more just quaint than totally bizarre. For example here we say prams, instead of strollers. And ‘hire’ when you mean rent, or hail, or lease. For example, “On the way back from Bronte Beach, Abby’s pram snapped in half so we had to hire a cab to go to the baby store and purchase a new one.”

Diapers are ‘nappies’, naps are ‘sleeps’, grocery carts are ‘trolleys’ and coffee with milk is ‘flat white’. Ok that last one is a bit odd. Also flip-flops are thongs, and that can be a little dicey if you aren’t careful. A convenient one is mince which is the word they use for all ground beef products. I like it because at home I never knew if I wanted ground round or ground chuck, or did I just call it ground beef? Here I can just order a kilo of mince and cook it up without having to make that difficult choice. Whatever it is, it’s already ground up and they call it mince. Easy.

But then there are a few words that I never really grasp. Debit cards are called ‘Eftpos’ cards - - pronounced “f-ed pass”. As in, “I’m sorry I can’t run this bill. No, f-ed pass.” This happens a lot because so many places take cash only and I always do a double take and have to bite my tongue so as not to blurt out, “Excuse you! There is a child present!”

Rectangles are ‘oblongs.’ Abby’s book of shapes is teaching her that the shape of say, a Hershey’s bar, is an oblong. Is that right? I thought an oblong was a descriptive term not an actual shape; it described things that were longer than they were wide. So a rectangle would BE an oblong, but not all oblongs would be rectangles. I also had the impression that oblongs tended towards roundness at the ends. Gel-cap Advil Cold & Sinus feels very oblongy to me whereas a Hershey’s Bar seems definitively rectangular.

Finally, my new favorite. On Sunday, we visited our third new church. Of course after last week’s debacle, the main question I asked was, “Do you have a nursery?” They replied that yes, they had a Crèche. And sure enough, there in the bulletin it said that children could go to Crèche after the children’s sermon.

Isn’t a Crèche a nativity scene? Hay? Donkeys? Baby Jesus in the manager? I wasn’t sure that I wanted to send Abby to the Crèche. What if she came back in swaddling clothes or with a fake wiseman beard or smelling of myrrh?

Lastly, segueing from vocab into the, things-that-can-fly-into-screenless-windows department, mosquitoes are called mossies. And like flies, they have them here no matter how optimistically they might claim otherwise.

In fact due to the recent relentless rains, all the flies have flown in from the bush. It’s true. Whereas before Les and I were ok to agree that flies were not a big issue here, that has changed significantly. They have flies at almost plague-like levels right now. Seriously. As in refugee camp style. They land in your hair, eyes, mouth and you always have about 10 or so on your back. I have been told that as soon as it dries out they’ll go back to the bush, but I no longer trust the Sydneysiders thoughts when it comes to creature-control.

Abby has seen me swat flies so often that she now comes running into whatever room I am in and cries, “Mama, flys-eese, flys-eese!” and then she hands me a book to swat it with. (On a side note, she pronounces eggs, ‘eggs-eeese’ and bags, “bags-eeese” I fear that too much Lord of the Ring viewing when she inutero has given her a slight Gollum inflection.)

But I have happy, happy news. Cue the hallelujah chorus because that’s right, I FOUND SCREENS! I asked my local hardware store if they had screens yet.
“You mean for flies? Like fly screens in your windows?” The clerk asked looking at me like I was asking for some obscure product.
“Yes, yes!” I replied perhaps a bit impatiently. “You do have flies here and they do fly in the windows.”
He went to the back of a dark corner and pulled out a screen. Voila! It was so cheap and easy to use - it was perfect! After installing it at home I promptly went back and bought four more.
“A screened window for each room.” I beamed at the clerk.
He looked at me like I had two heads, but I stood my ground and gave him a look back that I hope communicated, “No, my friend, I am NOT the delusional one here.”

So there it is. We are a screened-in family now. It’s the most wonderful thing ever to sleep at night and hear the wind blow and to not have to worry about being eaten alive in your own bed.

And now, as I type this, Abby is at Play & Shop, an upscale staffed play-place at the mall that is wonderful and clean and very professional, giving moms a nice two hour break to just sit. Or get a manicure. Or shop. Or dance around the mall doing cartwheels down the walkways. You choose and that’s the beauty of it.

I’ve chosen to sit on the food terrace up high overlooking the city of Sydney and the Harbor Bridge. It’s about 75 and sunny, I have screens at home, Lorikeets and Cockatoos in the trees and a ‘cuppa’ Starbucks. No worries, mate. I can forgive them their flies.

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