Jo comes to Oz - Byron Bayyyyyyy pt 1

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Woke up still in my cocoon. I automatically panicked again about the spider issue and leaped out of bed and checked the bed, luckily the bed was safe.. as was I! I am alive and well..! The others are all up and alive too. First thing we decide to do first is head into town and get some food supplies for the lodge. Okay so the rainforest looked beautiful this morning. I judged it because it was dark last night, but in the light it was a lot more cheery and pleasant and I felt a lot better. Plus I was super excited.. I was in byron bay dude! I had heard awesome things about this place and really hoped it lived up to it all. It was literally a 5 minute drive to town and within a minute we saw a woolworths.. good old trusty woolies! We parked up and got some supplies. Decided on a bbq and got some skewer chicken kebabs, the kind that I have back home in Sydney! Also got some salad, bread and juices, cereal bars etc.. just some basics! We also decided to have an early brunch and get a ready made hot roast chicken! Headed back to the lodge and had a motherfucker of a feast.. it was delishhhhhhh! A huge spider appeared and luckily Claire set to work on killage straight away until it crumpled into a little heap by the table, lovely. The sight of dead spiders used to freak the hell out of me, in fact it still does. When they go on their backs and their legs fold up into that horrible bendy position, disgusting! However I guess I can't be too fussy because at least they're dead!

So after our loveeeeeely meal, we decided to go back into town and have a wander to find out what Byron Bay is actually all about and why everyone raves about it so much. So I realised that this place is actually kick ass. The shops are incredible! Shit loads of gorgeous jewelery shops full of different beads and things.. and the clothes are fab! A lot have a bit of a hippyish feel to them which adds to the awesomeness. So after rummaging around for a few hours and buying pointless things, we relax for a bit on the beach. The beaches in Byron are infamous, and for good reason.. they're beautiful! I went straight into the sea without hesitation, the waves are awesome.. I can see why it's full of surfers here! Bloody sexy blonde tanned and toned surfers too.. MMHMM. After a bit of tanning we head back for dinner.. our delicious bbq! There is a public one at the rainforest lodges which was pretty ideal! We all shower and make ourselves look fabulous for the night to come, and then pig-thefuck-out! extremely delicious I must say! So soon enough we were more than ready to go out and have a damn good time. There's a bar/club called Cheeky Monkeys that pretty much the entire Byron population flocks to every night, a big place for travellers! So we get a taxi there.. when we arrived it was still pretty early but oh my dayssss that place packed out!

So Cheeky Monkeys was pretty hilarious. We were all hyper/high off life and we're sat in this booth thing and there's these blinds next to us. So Bec accidently pulls it out a bit.. so then me and Becky decide to see how far the entire thing goes.. so we pulled the entire blinds out until it was over our heads, and then realised we couldn't actually get it back.. so we're all in fits of hysterics until some hot topless Irish barman comes over and is like what the actual fuckkkkkk! So he gets on top of the table attempting to fix it, and then some girl is like 'what's happened?' and Becky goes 'LOOK WHAT HE'S DONE, HE BROKE IT!'.. actual LOL... guess you had to be there, but it was pretty entertaining for us. So Cheeky Monkeys is jam packed with surfer hotties, it's basically a sausage fest.. bloody brilliant! They have different competitions on and stuff which is pretty cool, they basically all end up with people getting naked, good times. Anyway so we're all a bit fueled from drink and decide to head to the dancefloor, which is basically just endless tables to dance on.. can't complain! We spot Ollie the revs barman and his friend.. they followed us to Byron! Becky isn't too keen on talking to him. So Ollie spent the entire night flaunting himself at different girls, bit of an idiotic thing to do seeing as Becky is really good friends with his girlfriend. Ridic with a capital R. So we're stood by the dancefloor and then some dickhead on one of the tables falls off right onto us all, not only tipping himself, but also the entire contents of his drink all over Jo, Becky and Bec! Luckily I avoided him but the others were kind of damaged.. what a prick. Not only that but he got up and then just stares at Jo blind drunk not even noticing what just happened and didn't even apologise! Some people are just too stupid to even be alive! It was pretty funny though.. but still.. think he needs to go and take a few minutes to himself and think about what his purpose in life actually is. So the others are starting to get a bit drunk whereas I'm just still stone sober. I have had countless vodka lemonades and it's doing ZILCH to me...

So we're on the tables dancing like loons and then dancing right by us is some fitty in a white tee shirt that we saw earlier on.. and he has a couple of other fitty friends dancing with him. Naturally we all end up dancing/talking together, they're all from Melbourne on a holiday.. yummy! So I go for a drink and when I come back Becky is like 'I just pulled the guy to the left of me'.. he wasn't half bad either! Not really my type but definitely a good looking chappy. So basically she ends up going off with him for a smooch somewhere and we're left with the friends. Now unfortunately the only other hot ones were white tee-shirt boy and another guy who apparently had a girlfriend and he didn't seem to do much except just sit there and be a lifeless body. All the others were idiots, especially some fucking moron in a pink tee shirt who seemed to think he was gods gift but clearly fails to ever get the girls.. no shocker there! So he just kept chatting shit to us all and the more he spoke the more I realised what an absolute tit he was. Soon enough he realised he wasn't getting anywhere with us and turns into super-dick 2010. Apparently he made an absolutely horrible comment to Bec when she was going to the toilet.. err just because she thinks you're a fugly wanker and doesn't want to go near your penis does NOT give you the right to be horrible to her so take your mangled face ELSEWHERE! Luckily he did and starts trying it with some Indian girls instead. So anyway eventually Mcfitty (white tee shirt) shows obvious interest in Claire and those 2 then go off and end up having a smooch.. so it's me, jo and bec left! My feet hurt and I'm sober so I sit on the side and get talking to the one with a girlfriend. Turns out he does have some sort of personality and we end up having a rather nice chat!

So I'm sat with Jo and these skinhead obvious English guys come over and are like 'where are yous from?'.. we could tell STRAIGHT away they were Mancs! So we're all like woohoo Mancunians and end up havin a chat with them, anyway eventually its closing time so we all go outside, and as we're stood chattin to the Mancs mr prickface pink tee shirt comes over again and is like 'NO SKINHEADS' to us.. just because we'd rather chat to them than him! So predictably I could see the manc boys give a look to each other and start saying 'what the fuck did he just say?', so absolutely terrified a fight was gonna kick off we quickly leave with the others to Woolworths to wait for a taxi. So it was pretty pointless trying to avoid a fight because another one nearly starts anyway! A couple come along and are obviously off their face on drugs and attempt to use the vending machine. They put their money in and as the machine is clearly switched off they don't get their drink.. so they start kicking it. So guess who decides to butt in and start making comments? Pinky and the none existent brain! He starts shouting things like 'fucking idiot you're meant to put money in!'.. DOES HE EVER SHUT UP?! So naturally the couple are like EXCUSE ME WHAT? Luckily before I saw what happened next our taxi arrived so we swiftly got in and existed pronto, however as we left I got a glimpse of them all starting to push each other around, imbeciles.

So anyway it was actually a super fun night and definitely excited to go back tomorrow! Bye guysssssssss. xxx

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