Spy in the House of Robinson

Well, this is the end. The end of my lone star days, anyhow. I will be leaving the Swiss Family (Matt) Robinson house in DC and joining my husband in Chicago tomorrow and facing all kinds of music in my life - only some of it with a funky beat.

Today was the last day of my life as a free woman. Maybe I should have a hen party tonight! There are rumours of me going for a farewell drink with Jon. But, even as he is the best friend I've made in the States, he's pretty flaky and so I won't be putting any money on with Ladbrokes! (He already blew me out for lunch!) I have tons of packing to do tonight anyway - trying to shove three cases full of tourist tat and NASA research back together.

I've had a mixed kind of day really. A lot of tears again. Luckily, my housemate, Jake - who I hadn't known very well until today - looked after me, after I somehow found the strength to go to him for support (Jon was asleep). He made me a camomile tea and listened to my woes until I stopped bawling and calmed down. A very good guy.

Still weepy, I went to the museum of American art and portrait gallery this afternoon which are handily together. I enjoyed the beautiful building and the interesting and very racially integrated exhibitions. I don't think black or other minority history is as well represented in the establishment museums in the UK. Of course, as part of the Smithsonian, it was free - a great thing.

Afterwards, I wandered over to the shop at the International Spy Museum - I will definitely go there when/ if I'm back! The shop was - to use local parlance - awesome. It had pens shaped like lipsticks, invisible ink kits and cameras in the shape of Coke cans. Fab pressies!! I loved it. Didn't buy anything - but go look online!!

I realised that I feel invisible today so I'd make a good spy. I feel like I'm so often relegated to the corners, that I'm just rejected and unnoticed in so many ways. I've worked so hard to feel good about myself, that I don't understand it! I have a lot going for me, you'd think. But I'm still struggling - I'm obviously not enough for many of the people I need attention & love from. Feel like giving up on reaching out, but being loving is one of the things I am good at. Well, I thought I was. What a self-pity party I have going tonight!!! Better go get a beer!

I guess going home and those issues are beginning to prey on my mind. Disneyland is about to close, as Aimee Mann would have it. But then at least my own Disneyland did have its doors open this month - even when I'm sad, I have to remember all I've done.

I'll try to write again once I'm in Chicago - but time will be short, with hubby hovering over my shoulder. Thanks to all of you who've followed my adventures - up and down America and ip and down in my head. Thanks for giving me over 1000 hits in the past month - a writer likes to be read. Thanks for letting me know what this journey wasn't just for me, that I was being your eyes and ears too.

---

---