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Published: October 16th 2011
I have put off writing this account, but realize if I am ever going to complete the record of all my trips I have to get over this hurdle.
17 July 1988 Sunday. By now we had learned that if we were going to fly through JFK on the way to somewhere else in the U.S. it was better to stay overnight at a hotel near JFK, because late afternoon thunderstorms were likely to create havoc with all further flights that day. So we flew from Brussels to JFK and checked into our nearby hotel, just as everyone else whose flights we cancelled were looking for rooms for the night.
18 - 23 July 1988 Monday through Saturday. So with jet lag on Monday we caught a very early morning flight to West Palm Beach where we rented a car for the week we would be in the area. We drove to my parents' home in Lake Worth where we would spend a couple of days before we had to move to a hotel for the remainder of the week as guests began to arrive for my sister Carol's wedding to Steve. This was the first time that they
met our daughter Rosanna who was born in October. I asked Dad how he was doing on dialysis. He was a bit frustrated as it tied him down and severely restricted what he could eat. And Mom wasn't sleeping very well; always listening for Dad's breathing patterns during the night. We did get to the beach and did some sightseeing to our favorite places before things got too busy.
There wasn't anything normal about this vacation as everyone, other than us, were busy preparing for the wedding. Perhaps this is why I don't like weddings as a time and place to see family who you otherwise rarely ever see. Weddings are NOT family reunions! Weddings are ALL about the bride, and perhaps the groom. So we hardly saw my parents or sisters the whole week.
Instead, as various relatives arrived at our hotel we hung around with them. In particular we hung around with my Uncle Tom, perhaps my favorite uncle, so this was great. He had an appreciation for the good life so we often had lunch at the Breakers Hotel at Palm Beach. So we learned that the best thing to do at a wedding is
to stay out of the way of those directly involved, and team up with another couple of guests for the duration.
The wedding was held at the church my parents and sister Carol attended. All our relatives and many of our family friends were there. The only glitch was that children were invited, and they had pretty much devoured the finger foods at the reception before the bridal party had finished with the picture taking after the ceremony. So we learned another lesson...don't invite kids to a wedding! Of course we couldn't apply these lessons ourselves until one of our own kids gets married, but it's important to learn from others before then!
Knowing in advance that we wouldn't see much of my parents, we planned to get together with them in Colorado a week after the wedding.
24 - 29 August 1988 Sunday through Friday. So until we would meet up with my parents in Colorado on Saturday, we decided to fly to Denver the day after the wedding and drive around the Southwest. We arrived early in Denver, rented a car and headed south on I-25 and then west to Great Sand Dunes National Monument,
My family at Carol and Steve's wedding
Adults left to right: Rob and Sue, Dad and Mom, Steve and Carol, Bob (holding Rosanna) and Linda, Judy and David
Kids left to right: Brendan, some unknown girl who was in the wrong place who I never realized before now was in the picture, Alyssa, Kristen, Ryan, Tamara, and Graham.where we crossed a stream and then walked as far as we could up the large sand dunes carrying the girls; in other words, not too far. From there we drove south across the border into New Mexico and on to Taos where we checked into a motel. That evening we watched Indian dancing around a fire pit.
The next morning we drove to the outskirts of town and visited the Taos Peublo and ate Indian fry bread. From Taos we drove the scenic route over the mountians and through Chimayo to Santa Fe where we spent the next night. We stopped to see old missions, ranches, and pueblos along the way. Once in Santa Fe we walked around the plaza with the governor's residence where Navajo sold silver and turquoise jewelry.
On Wednesday morning we headed southwest a bit more to visit the pueblos at Santo Domingo, San Felipe, and Santa Ana, before heading northwest on US550 and US64 towards the Four Corners and Monument Valley. We stayed at Goldings Trading Post in Monument Valley, which is where many John Ford movies starring John Wayne were filmed. "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon" was filmed at Goldings, with
"The Searchers" and "Stagecoach" nearby. This is glorious country. Linda, as a good mother, continued to educate her girls in the fine art of shopping for Indian jewelry.
Thursday we continued north to Canyonlands and Arches National Parks, both with amazing desert scenery and interesting geological formations. Canyonlands seems vaster than the Grand Canyon; not to be missed. And Arches has balanced rocks and of course the many arches for which the park is named. We stayed the night in Moab.
Friday we headed east along I-70, stopping in Glenwood Springs and Vail on the way to Georgetown. We especially liked Georgetown as it is filled with Victorian homes and is a silver mining town. We stayed at a motel where several youth soccer teams were also staying. They were in town for a tournament. We didn;t sleep too well with dozens of middle school boys running down the hall and making a lot of noise all night.
30 July - 5 August 1988. Saturday through Friday. We had arranged to meet my parents and their friends, the Folsoms, in Central City, a ghost town, about noon. They were flying in from West Palm Beach that morning,
and the Folsoms were picking them up at the Denver airport. So we did and had lunch there, and walked around the town to look for ghosts.
We then followed them to the Folsom's home on the hillside overlooking Boulder. We relaxed the rest of the afternoon. We were scheduled to visit with the Conrads after supper, and we gave consideration to postponing the visit as my parents had a long day already, flying from Florida.
However, fortunately we went with the plan. Dr. Conrad's grandfather had been a missionary in west China in the 1920's along with my Dad's parents. He had recently returned from a trip to Lhasa, sister city to Boulder, and had received special permission to visit the towns in Gansu Province where my grandparents and parents had been missionaries. We saw the slides from his trip and he shared his story. We shared many memories of life in west China. It was an amazing evening.
Sunday morning we met Dad's first cousin, the only other male of his gneration, and his wife Jan, and his kids Keith, Doug, Sonya, Tiffany, Bruce, and Marliss at their church. Sonya sang a solo. After church
we had lunch and half the afternoon together catching up. The rest of the afternoon and evening we were with the Folsoms, planning the rest of the week together. Linda and I were considering buying a vacation property in Colorado, and they gave us some suggestions as to what areas to look at.
Monday we drove to Rocky Mountain National Park for the day. Dad rode in our car so we could get in free with his Golden Eagle Pass. We had a chance to talk about life and unfulfilled dreams. His only regret was not getting an advanced degree. His life experience was more than anyone could learn getting a masters or doctorate, but those degrees seemed to convey a respectability of having obtained knowledge, which absent experience isn't true knowledge.
While Mom, Dad, Linda and the girls walked around Bear Lake, Mrs. Folsom and I hiked up a mountain. I ended up spraining my ankle. We rejoined the others at the lake and got some pictures. Then we drove through the park to the top of the mountains at over 11,000 feet, but turned around before the road went down to Grand Lake. We returned to
Persons cousins at the wedding
Left three: Cousin Bonnie Gay with husband Kevin and son Ryan
Middle: Cousin Marjie
Left three: Cousin Debbie with daughter Chelsie and son Bentley the Folsoms for supper.
After supper Dad wanted to check out where the hospital was that he was scheduled to have dialysis early the next morning. I had to stop at the grocery store across the street to get diapers for the girls. While I shopped Dad bounced a rubber ball with Tamara in the aisles. I also bought a Newsweek because the cover story was about Tom Clancey, one of my favorite authors. I apologized to Dad as he was a lifelong fan of Time magazine. We returned home to relax and read for the rest of the evening, turning in about 10 pm.
At 1 am Tuesday 2 August 1988 I was awoken by Mom who told me that Dad was having difficulty breathing. He walked by to the couch at the end of the hall while Mom went to call 911, and I turned to get dressed. I came out and found Dad unconscious. I gave him CPR until the ambulance arrived 20 minutes later. That was the last time I saw him.
We followed the ambulance to the hospital and awile later a dcotor came out to tell us that he had passed
away from fluid in his lungs due to kidney failure. If he had been able to have dialysis on Monday he might have lived longer. Coincidentally, his father had passed away on the same date 11 years earlier. Coincidentally, the following evening we saw a Discovery Channel program on a Mount Everest expedition and learned that high altitudes were very bad for kidneys. If we had known, we never would have gone to Rocky Mountain National Park, or even have had them meet us in Colorado. There were many other coincidences, so we took comfort in knowing that Dad's time had come and he went literally with his boots on. I hope I can go the same way. Amazingly, the probability that we would be with my parents when this happened given that we lived so far away from them, was very small, so we were grateful for the opportunity to be there.
We didn't sleep much the rest of the night as we comforted Mom. We also started making the phone calls to my sister and close relatives. The Folsoms were great hosts throughout this time.
Tuesday morning we called Don and he helped line up a
funeral home while Mom and I made the flight and funeral arrangements. We decided that Dad would be buried next to his mother at the Mount Zion church cemetary, a mile or so away from where he was born on Punkin Ridge, near Mahaffey PA. His father had moved to Florida, remarried, and passed away there, so the plot next to his mom was available.
Linda and I and the girls were scheduled to fly to Pittsburgh next so everything fell into place as for as accompanying Dad's casket on the plane.
Wednesday we decided to get away from everything so Mrs. Folsom and Mom joined us for a drive to Colorado Springs. We stopped at Glen Eyrie Castle and the Air Force Academy before returning home.
Thursday Mom, Linda, the girls, and I accompanied Dad's casket on the same flight to Pittsburgh PA. We arrived late so stayed at an airport hotel.
My sister Sue arrived early Friday morning. I had rented a black sedan, appropriate for the occasion, and we drove to the church in Mahaffey PA. We had the memorial service there and then escorted the casket to Mount Zion church where there
was an interment ceremony. Many of our relatives who we had just seen at Carol and Steve's wedding were there. They shared how they decided to come to the wedding at the last minute, and thus had the opportunity to see Dad while he was alive. After the funeral all the relatives drove to a motel in Dubois PA where we continued to share stories about Dad.
6 - 15 August 1988 Saturday through Monday. Sue joined us for our trip to New Castle, as she would be flying out of Pittsburgh. We dropped her off the next day. For the next eight days were visited with Linda's family and friends. Trevor and Shirley and there kids were there from Ireland, so it was a series of large family reunions. On 15 August we flew back to Brussels.
That fall my boss retired and I ended up with double and triple workloads. I also was processing my grief. On election nights, I had a panic attack for the first time. I ended up in an ambulance going to the hospital thinking I was dying. I wasn't but it's worth having such an experience to get a proper perspective
of life. Mom came for a visit to hepl Linda and I and the girls.
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