A Statistical Recap! A visit to Toronto!

The Time Breakdown:

P: Plane
T: Train
G: Greyhound

0: Day From -> To : Time Traveled Between Locations

P: 10/1 Seattle -> Utah : 2.5hrs
P: 10/1 Utah -> Paris : 10hrs
T: 10/2 Paris -> Bordeaux : 4hrs
T: 10/5 Bordeaux -> Arcachon : 50mins
T: 10/7 Arcachon -> Bordeaux : 50mins
T: 10/7 Bordeaux -> Marseille : 6hrs 10mins
T: 10/10 Marseille -> Nîmes : 1hr 20mins
T: 10/10 Nîmes -> Alès : 45mins
T: 10/11 Alès -> Génolhac : 50mins both ways
T: 10/12 Alès -> Nîmes : 45mins
T: 10/12 Nîmes -> Paris : 2hrs 50mins
T: 10/16 Paris -> Nancy : 1.5hrs
T: 10/19 Nancy - Metz : 1hr both ways
T: 10/20 Nancy -> Dortmund : 3hrs
T: 10/23 Dortmund -> Essen : 50mins *
T: 10/26 Essen -> Frankfurt : 3hrs
T: 10/30 Frankfurt -> Prague : 6hrs?
T: 11/3 Prague -> Český Krumlov : 4hrs
T: 11/6 Český Krumlov -> České Budějovice : 1hr
T: 11/6 České Budějovice -> Bratislava : 6hrs
T: 11/9 Bratislava -> Budapest : 3hrs
T: 11/14 Budapest -> Vienna : 4hrs
T: 11/17 Vienna -> Budapest : 4hrs
P: 11/18 Budapest -> Dublin : 2.5hrs
P: 11/19 Dublin -> New York : 8hrs

Euro Travel Sub-Total : 79hrs 50 minutes

G: 11/26 New York -> Toronto : 12hrs
G: 12/1 Toronto -> Tacoma : 72hrs

Grand Total Travel Including USA: 163 hours 50 minutes - <Out of the 65 days I was gone, I spent 6 days and 20 hours of merely sitting on my rump>

(If you take into account that I also spent a lot of time on trams and metro, the hours would simply stack upon themselves. Doesn't include all layovers. These were the times listed on the tickets I brought back with me.)

Woah Woah Woah Andrew, Back This Steam Engine Up! You're Back!?

Yes Sirs and Gentlewomen, I am. Unfortunately for you, I was preoccupied in Toronto for 5 or some odd days. I rode into Ontario long after the sun had given up on the day. Fortunately for me, they took USD at the Subway. I met up with our dearest Canadian friend Shelby at her place of business. Now the thing about this place of business is it is a bar. The thing about the place where she lives, is it's located directly above this bar. The thing about me coming in during her shift at the said bar late at night is the fact that I was within stumbling distance of my makeshift home for the good portion of the week. The thing about that is, I don't remember much of nights in Toronto.

The days were spent indulging in Toronto's greatest. Of the options we pulled out of a hat was the Shoe Museum. We went to The Art Gallery of Ontario (AGO for short) instead. It was such such such a relief to be able to bounce about a giant mix of different art styles and whatnot. I'd gotten so burned out on the whole "depictions of christ being born and crucified" thing it was ridiculous.

So, the last time I went to any sort of Science Center was that date I had sometime last year. Where I brought labcoats and goggles and junk, right? Well, as some of you recall, I'd majorly dropped the ball on that one by having some car troubles and being exorbitantly late. When all was said and done, we'd only caught the butterfly exhibit before closing. Thankfully, Dentist Shelby and her assistants fixed my Science Tooth. We made it out therre and I gots me some mighty book learnins that day. For instance, did you know that that when you are in the process of imbibing alcohol, you are telling your posterior pituitary to quit releasing vasopressin to the kidneys? Well you are! And as a result, your liver just kind of forgets it needs to retain liquids. Thus, QUICK EXPULSION FROM THE SYSTEM!!!!

After dinner, I totally stopped producing vasopressin for awhile.

Actually, I really don't remember if I drank that evening or not. I just wanted to double up on that bit. But I dipress. In the future, I need to hit Queen Street in a little more detail. Excellent strand of unique shops and whoyeah. (is that as effective as "whatnot"?) There were some definite dunes that I could have tackled (a mile and half east of Toronto!) Energy levels were at an all time low though. I also had it not in me to chase about Niagra and all that. Oh yeah! And the CN Tower is as crazily tall as they make it out to be. Due to cloud cover, I couldn't see the top.

Monday nipped at my heels and so did my super reduced funds. I began my excruciatingly long, and only minutely worthwhile return trip home by the highest class way possible. Another Greyhound trip. Why do I keep subjecting myself to this? If I really wanted to break my perceptions of white southerners and inner city thugs, I'd refrain.

Bus Stats:

Use of the phrase "baby's daddy": 29 (this was just during the times I was concious from Missouri to Topeka. I stopped counting when I realized I still had another day and a half, and a hundred or so more uses on the horizon.)

The 'N' word being dropped from Detroit to Chicago:
To make it easier, let's count how many times it wasn't said: 4

Number of people on the bus heading to rehab due to their DOC officer's orders: 2

People I sat next to that turned out to be felons after a bit of discussion: 2

Upon overhearing those 2 conversations, how many more came out of the woodwork and proudly expressed their joy of being a fellow Felon Card Holder: 9. THAT'S A FREAKING NINE PEOPLE!!!! Not neun... Not NIN... NINE!!!

Number of women getting escorted off the bus by EMTs due to ODing on pills: 1

Men getting escorted off the bus due to licking the shoulder of a sleeping Australian girl: 1

Number of people that had some debilitating disease or otherwise critical condition that they had to agonize about LOUDLY though no interest was piqued: 5

Percentage of cigarette smokers: 80%

Number of people perking up in their seats when the words "bowl, pill, joint, weed, token, needle or smoke" were used, regardless of context: 12 at the very minimum, every busride. I'm really being generous here.

Those carrying blades 5 inches or longer: 5

I could probably base three inter weaving novels based on that one excursion alone. I do believe that is the only silver lining in the ol' Monday - Thursday. The incoherant ramblings in a constant loop. The ignorance slinking its fingertips about my temporal lobe... sloughing away my intelligence by the neuron-full. Oh, what an ever powerful eddy that created before it all drained down my spinal cord.

You better not step there folks! That's Andrew's thought-juices!

Really though, I didn't make enemies. This accounts for something. If I ever go to prison, I now have people that will watch my back instead of take it. And that's what matters in the slippery soap of life, right?

Bus Routing:

Toronto -> Detroit -> Chicago -> St. Louis -> Topeka -> Denver -> Boise -> Portland -> Tacoma

It was somewhere around St. Louis, they lost my *Budapest luggage.
For an undetermined amount of time, I'm without games nor style.

In one of my first posts, I told you I'd make everyday things sound more important because they're foreign. In this instance, my normal looking piece of luggage suddenly has gained a lot of allure and mysticism, has it not? It was bought at the Tesco in Hungary after all and has the word Budapest in front of it. God I hope I get my rapidly rising value-driven bag of worth back.

Accommodations:

Hotel Quebec - Bordeaux
-Most inexperienced late night travelers will stumble into this place as a last resort due to it being across the street from le gare. Unless you want to contract something from the bedsheets, I would just as soon go to the Etap a half a block down.

Etap Hotel - Bordeaux
-Basically a crackerjack box filled with unnecessarily bright colors. It was clean and moderately priced. Staff was quite put off when I came back down to fix a mistake they'd made in my reservation.

Couch Surfing Host - Bordeaux

Hotel Moderne - Arcachon
-Cleanest two star I've come across. Most rooms don't have a shower, so you'll most likely sharing with the people on your floor. For those accustomed to hostels, this is not a problem. I couldn't figure out how to go to the bathroom due to the weird doors.

Hotel _____ - Marseilles
-I don't remember the name... but being on the main road as the train station, I had run into another Bordeaux incident. Sketchy place, run by a sketchy guy at a way expensive price.

Hostel Vertigo - Marseilles
-Very swank, albeit small. The staff was a little distant and unhelpful. But! The common room was constantly full of life and interesting unusual characters. Not laundry service, or free internet if I recall. Not much by means of entertainment either. Basically a place to rest your head and chat in the lobby. 24 euro.

Couch Surfing Host - Alès

Le Montclair Montmartre - Paris
-6 floors. No elevator. 3 euro/hour internet. Showers only on every other floor (if in a dorm). Cracker jack box of a toilet room. Some Polish guy staying here was trying to convince me this was the best hostel in all of Europe. He always comes here because of this. While it wasn't the worst I'd most definitely not put it in the top 300. And I haven't stayed in 300 yet. Do Square Caulaincourt if you want to be in the Montmartre district.

Couch Surfing Host - Nancy

Chateau de Remicourt - Nancy
-Located 3 miles from the centre ville, the Chateau de Remicourt was the hardest place to find during the trip. Down a little stretch of road and occupying space next to a school, they had no signs to distinguish the two. Took so very long to find the main entrance. The staff spoke little english and didn't clearly indicate where my room was. I'm so very glad it wasn't the busy season, as the room I was in held 30+ people and the noise created from that would be entirely intolerable. Fortunately I was one of four. 12 euro a night was doable though.

Couch Surfing Host - Dortmund

Adolph Kolping - Dortmund
-Right off the main shopping center, this would have been a prime location for a headquarters. I stayed there the night before Spiel, so I didn't get to spend much time. They had the most full free all-you-can-eat breakfast of the hostels I stayed at. If you are not a Hostel International card holder, they will charge you a 3 or 4 euro fee on top of your total stay for registration. Standard 2 euro/hour internet fee.

Couch Surfing Host - Essen

Couch Surfing Host - Frankfurt

5 Elements Hostel - Frankfurt
-New as of August 2008, they are still under renovation. Free breakfast to make up for the construction. They have apartment-style dorms for dirt cheap. They're exceptionally clean, albeit echo like crazy. Again, I'm glad there was only two other people in the 16 bedroom... or it'd have been a terrible night's sleep. In exchange for borrowing a laptop, you can leave them your passport. This was the best way of handling this in my opinion. They had several dozen laptops... everyone's accountable for the computer they're using.... equating to better condition of equipment. It is cheaper than the Hostel Frankfurt by a longshot, and I'd come here again. But be warned that it's in the red light district. It's safe at night in groups and had no problems the couple nights there, but it's something to consider.

Sir Toby's Hostel - Prague
-No matter what country we were in, if someone brought up Prague in a hostel conversation Sir Toby's was at the top. And for good reason. The staff will pull out a map the moment you arrive, mark the main tram lines, and tell you the best ways of getting where you need to go. They hand you a pamphlet they created, outlining possible orientation walks, and they're favorites in restaurants and nightclubs. Furthermore, their staff is exceptionally well versed in Czech movies, music, and work to help out however they can. They have laundry service. And the internet is a reasonable 90 czk for an hour and a half. Breakfast is also worth the 100 czk bringing you unlimited pancakes, scrambled eggs, and homemade granola at the very very least. They have movie nights with english subtitles, and occasional concerts. A barbecue in the back common yard. Locally handmade souvenirs for sale at the main desk as well as bus and tram tickets. They have both Kozel and Kofola on tap (Czech beer and soda) for dirt cheap. It was also the only hostel visited where the bed was already made upon arrival. Sir Toby's is what every hostel should strive for. End of discussion. My only only gripe about this place is the squeaky and slightly wobbly bunkbeds. Otherwise, this'd gotten a perfect score.

Traveler's Hostel - Český Krumlov
-Totally dead when we arrived. Were told that they'd open up the restaurant on several occasions. However, they never did. Poor internet connection and incredibly loud hardwood floors. It's location is in the heart of old town. Within a 10 second walk you will be inside any number of cafes or bookstores. Check this one out before you buy. It may feel different in the peak season when there people there to entertain you.

Hostel Possonium - Bratislava
-One of the two worst hostels I stayed in. Both happen to be in Bratislava. Really distant staff bored to tears. Their one computer is chock full of viruses. The room they put us in is directly next to the kitchen. The room they put us in is also the ground floor next to the incredibly busy road at the front of the building. There was no room for sleep under these conditions. Especially when the bulk of the noise produced was from that same uncaring staff I already mentioned. The only thing that remotely saved this place was the free coffee and tea in the morning. That, and the cleaning lady that looked like she was from the future.

Patio Hostel - Bratislava
Do not ever visit this place. Slowest internet connection. No breakfast offered. 10 euro key deposit. The loudest common rooms ever. Every room smells like sewage. They have three pots and a skillet to share amongst three kitchens. You'll find yourself running from floor to floor attempting to obtain all the items you need to accomplish your cooking quest. If you're creative enough, this could actually be fun. This place was constantly packed due to their mis-listing on hostelworld.com. They are in fact more expensive than most other hostels in the area. Crappiest crap for crap crapper I ever had the crapsure of visiting.

Aboriginal Hostel - Budapest
Surprisingly for having the second worst internet and breakfast encountered, this place was great. Incredibly small common room, and very little to do, yet it seemed to bring in an array of interesting people. It pretty much forces everyone to talk and create their own fun. I'm thinking the exceptionally gracious hosts are what keep the place going. The place felt reeeally homey.

Hostel Ruthensteiner - Vienna
Lame 10 euro key deposit, and it isn't the trendy Wombat Hostel that the rest of my age group went to, but for sleep purposes, this place was great. It has the best equipped kitchen I've encountered. Two ranges and more than enough pots and pans for every burner. They also rotate the local artwork in the main lobby. NEAT! Just don't buy their shameful attempt at breakfast. That 2 euro 50 could go towards something more practical. Like a beer. Yanno... instead of a piece of toast and a cup of coffee they try to push on you.

Nari's Apartment - NYC
Shelby's Apartment - Toronto

Other Whimsical Statistics

Cities Slept In - 16

Countries Visited (More than one day not including US) - 7

Trainstations Slept In - 1

Airports Slept In - 2 - BUD and DUB

Hitchhiking Trips - 1

Number of Nights technically homeless - 1

Couchsurfing Hosts - 6

Modes of Outdoor Transportion - 9 - Walking, Bus, Train, Plane, Funicular, Metro, Tram, Ferry, Sandboard

Number of Weird forms of Indoor Transportion - 2 - Paternoster Elevators, Escalators with no steps going at an angle.

Currencies Used - Euro, Czech Kroner, Slovakian Kroner, Hungarian Forint, Canadian Dollars

Possibilities for next year?

-Senegal and other french-speaking countries of Africa
(I BS'd all the facts for a report I did in Social Studies one year. Now I'd like to know the truth!)

-Peru to tackle Cerro Blanco, the tallest dunes of the World
(It's rumored to take 3-5 hours to summit. Dune de Pyla in Arcachon took 15 minutes at the very longest.)

-Hitchhiking trip across the United States
(Maybe make this in conjunction with Peru? Fly in from Mexico City?)

-Finishing what I started with The Ukraine.
(I have a solid plan that rests on an elderly man making it until then.)

Alright folks, there you have it. Thank you for following me along my trip. It was most kind of you. Make yourselves a sandwich. You deserve it.

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