Home

6 months, and I am finally comfortable enough to miss home and crave food from home without going into any sort of panic. And then it is time to go back.

The flight home is quiet and uneventful. My last glimpse of the UK was the Isle of Skye, a place I felt oddly connected to; maybe the winter quiet of the island reflects what is going on inside of me. I am leaving a different way of life, of trains and people from all over the world, and quite possibly one of the most challenging social work jobs I have ever had; I am leaving, and I know a little piece of me will always be there. I also know that I will travel again, to many other places.

I come home. I feel like I am in a daze; I still feel like I am in a daze most of the time. I go to the grocery store, and walk, walk through tall aisles filled with food of every brand, flavour. Colours are bright and dizzying. I am back in the land of plenty. It is the land of plenty. The land of choices.

I remember during the last year of graduate school marvelling at the way knowledge and experience came together; at last, I thought I got it--that I understood--that I would be an even better social worker--I was balanced, equipped for anything. Once again, my eyes were opened. I put the stars in my eyes back in the sky where they belonged. Stars in the eyes are almost like wearing rose-coloured glasses (those came off after earning my bachelor's degree). My professional judgment carried a weight far heavier than I ever would have wanted. Children don't have a choice when it comes to being subject to abuse. I know this. But id doesn't make the job any easier.


As I move about my neighbourhood, I feel strangely more patient with people around me but not with my own self. I feel tired, deeply tired. I have just fulfilled a lifelong dream of living and working in the UK, and I am directionless. It's ok; it's just a feeling I am not used to. Especially here. But I am here, and this is where I am at, and now I just need to exercise a little patience on myself, as I adjust and think of what to do next.

---

---