The Last One.

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Hello everybody!



Well, this is my third draft of this blog and I expect it to be my final one. I have always written my blogs as just stream-of-consciousness and I don’t know why this blog is different, but I just don’t feel like I can get it right. I don’t want it to be fifteen pages either. Clearly brevity is not one of the things that changed about me this past year. It’s taken me a while to get to writing this one and I think part of it is because I knew what a daunting task it would be. Attempting to write a sum-up blog about a whole year is nearly impossible. So, I won’t do it. This will just be a quick reflection, if you will.

There are the obvious questions, but I feel like I’ve talked to most people about those. You know I can do that now…talk to people in person…it’s pretty great. It’s definitely been one of the perks of being back.

How I have changed over the year, I’m not really sure. I never really had any intention of “changing” myself while I was there, I honestly didn’t have a problem with the way I was, but it would be ignorant to think that a year over seas would leave me the same person I was before I left. It was a slow evolution; small changes that added up over a year, making me a slightly different version of myself. It’s hard to try and name all of them or point them out, some I don’t think I’ve even noticed yet, and others I feel are pretty obvious. A big one is that I don’t think I am nearly as passive as I used to be and I think a big part of that is thanks to Pepa. I think I made people feel as if she was some evil dictator, she wasn’t. She was tough, and she made me tougher. I think hiding yogurt under my bed was the turning point when I decided I needed to be more honest with her and myself and start making an effort to become more comfortable there, even if it was different than what they were used to.

On the other hand it hasn’t always been easy adjusting back either, it’s overwhelming at times. I have to take breaks every once in a while when I’m in big groups and meeting new people. Sometimes I find myself looking at the clock, figuring out what time it is in Cádiz and wondering what everyone there is doing. It gets easier every day though, but with that Spain sometimes seems like it was so far away. Just as it was hard not having friends from home in Cádiz with me, it has been just as hard not having friends from Cádiz here now. There are still kids that spent some time abroad, but it’s hard to relate a year there to someone who “lived” there for three weeks. I’m sorry but I don’t remember you having the FBI on your speed dial because your visa is taking too long or standing in the Spanish police station arguing for your residency card or waiting in line for a box of milk that doesn't have to be refrigerated or sitting on a bus for over two hours on a bridge because los astilleros decided to strike at 8:30 in the morning instead of 9:00 so I could get to school, or better 8:00 so I didn't have to get to school. You did not have a mailing address therefore you did not live there; I appreciate your curiosity about different cultures, but please don't try tell me our experiences were the same. Also, when I pronounce Cádiz, don’t pronounce it back to me differently. I don’t say it that way because I think it’s cool; I say it that way because that is how you say it. Follow suit people. Sorry for the slightly rude rant. An example of how Europe has made me less passive or patient.



Classes have been sort of an adjustment, too. I think now I’m not as concerned with studying. Ok, relax. My grades are fine. There’s a balance and I’m not entirely sure I was living it two years ago. I still think I’m too high strung to be a true Spaniard, but I think I was too high strung to be a college student as well. I would put that in the category of things I thought I liked about myself, and it wasn't a bad quality, it’s just that I don’t need to spend Friday nights getting to sleep early so I can get up early Saturday morning to work on a paper that isn't due until Thursday. So. Not. Necessary. Most people who read this are either out of school or in it with me, but on the off chance people like Kahleb, or Sophia and Olivia are reading this, just know, do quality studying not quantity and go out Friday and Saturday and if a friend says “hey we are going to road trip to Miami this weekend,” go, even if you only end up in Hunting Island, South Carolina in February when its only about 50 degrees outside and you packed for 75 degree Miami weather. Its ok. Just go. College is only four years; you've got time to study Sunday.



Being in Clemson is not the same as being in Nebraska, though. I appreciate home more. I know it seems that in all my travels away it must be so simple to pack up and leave home each time. It’s not. Each time I go home I think it’s actually a little harder. To be honest, that surprised me a little. Coming back from Spain I didn't really feel like I was “home;” I felt more as if I was just passing through. Heather’s wedding was all I could think about and all else sort of fell by the wayside and then all of the sudden I was packing up and taking off with Dad.

Coming home for fall break this year was special for a lot of reasons. One, I just needed to come home. I know you all might not think it, but I miss Lincoln. It’s a super great place, and anyone who says otherwise, well, they’re a butt-head. Second, Market to Market. If you didn't read my blog a little over a year ago about the Market to Market Relay, go take a gander.

I think this is a good place to end my blog because it all sort of comes full circle. Market to Market was a hard weekend for me to be away from my family, and I really appreciate them getting back on the horse and doing it again. I miss my family, they are awesome. Pretty much the most hilarious people I know, and this year my best running buddy Shawn got to join us too. And Team FlikWho? had a pretty impressive showing, no, you know what? I'm not going to be humble. We got 29th out of 387 teams. Positive scalp count. We crushed.

Running hasn't been a big part of my life in the last year, simply because of struggles with my legs and such, but racing with them and remembering why running is so important to us as a family helps me get up in the morning and put on my shoes. The hardest thing about running is getting out the door, and when I don’t have Shawn waiting for me in the mornings self-motivation is scarce. So it was an important day for me, to have everyone there together doing what we all really love to do. My family is always there for me, and you know, my friends have been too.

Every time I come home my friends call me up, invite me out and it’s like I was never gone. That’s really important to a person who spends a lot of time away. No one wants to feel like the odd man out, and with them I never do. It’s hard to keep long distance relationships strong, and you know what? We don’t talk every day, we don’t even talk every week and there have been numerous month-long lags between us speaking, but that doesn't matter. In the last four years I have probably spent a total of about six months at home, that’s only 12.5% of my time, yet somehow my relationships with my Nebraska friends remain just as strong as those of my Clemson friends. I’m pretty blessed to have the people I do in my life.

To all of you who have read this blog, kept me in your thoughts and prayers in the last year, sent me a message, or a letter or a package, who gave me rides to riding lessons every week, who let me stay in their house, or on their floor or welcomed me as family or was simply a friend to a super nervous American girl who cut her own hair and hid yogurt under her bed I want to say "thanks." It wasn't the many places I was last year, but the people I was with that made it so great and I wouldn't have had the guts to do any of it without the people who surround me here in the States. Most of all though, my parents. I don't think there is a way to say thank you for 21 years of what they have done for me, but without them, well, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to do any of the things that have made my life so special.



So, that’s it, the last one. I like to think that it’s not the last one. You never know when I’ll be on another adventure that is blog worthy, and a blog worthy adventure does not have to be outside the States. 😊 And while I’m pretty content in being home for now, I like to think that sometime in the not so near future there will be another chapter to this blog. I’m sad to see it go, but think about how long it takes to read these and then think about how long it takes me to write them. Yeah. That much time.



Thanks for reading guys.



Love always,

Devin 😊

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Photos

Annalu's Visit
A friend from Cadiz got to visit me in Clemson!