Bum Protector

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The hotel sits in a little beach town known for parties and hippies. Over the last decade or so, a small group of transients have also migrated to the town, loving the tourists and temperate climate.

One morning, a few years back, I was working a morning shift all by myself. It was the off-season and a relatively quiet morning. I heard the front doors slide open and looked up, only to find one of the scariest men I have ever seen (ever!) standing there.

He was well over seven feet tall and very thick. He had black sunglasses on, a long black trench-coat with a black sweatshirt underneath, long black pants, and no shoes or socks.

That last part really threw me off. No shoes and no socks, just bare feet. Clean bare feet, nonetheless. Was he homeless? No, everything was far too clean. Before I could finish my analysis, Neo spoke:

Scary Stranger: "Is there a black guy that works here?"

Me: Yes!...."Uh, what is this regarding?"

Scary Stranger: "I'm looking for a black guy that works in one of these hotels who messed with one of my bums."

Me: .......!? What am I supposed to say right now?? We DO have an African American working here, and he IS the type of person to do something like that. "I'm sorry we don't have a black guy that works here."

Scary Stranger: "Are there other hotels around here? I don't come off the beach much. I live and sleep down there, and I protect them. I'm the bum protector."

Me: "Uh, yea, there are some other hotels up the street."

He nodded but didn't move. He stood there just staring at me (or at least I assume he was staring at me, his glasses were dark). I had already been pretty nervous about the situation, but now I was getting flushed and very uncomfortable.

Me: "Is there something else I can do for you?"

Bum Protector and still Scary Stranger: "Nope."

He started looking around the lobby without moving his feet. I'm nearly positive he noted the position of the two cameras on the ceiling, before finally starting to back away.

Bum Protector and still Scary Stranger: "Well if you see a black guy working here, come find me. I gotta f*** him up!" And out the door we walked.

Yeah...I'm going to come find you.

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