The one about the wack attack

I have to tell you, if you’ve never been followed while driving by a crazy person, you just ain’t livin’. Whilst on a weekly gallivant to a reggae show, I had the fine priviledge of encountering my first criminally insane driver. Apparently I am such a bad driver that the following behavior was absolutely necessary to show me how bad of a driver I am.

I’m put-putting through the streets of West Chester to find the ever desired evening parking spot. As I go to pop a left onto a side street, I “cut” someone off. I use the term “cut off” very loosely because I am certain I had a full blown turn signal on. All of a sudden, a crazy person in a beat up Volvo gets in front of my car, slams on the breaks, and starts screaming at the top of her lungs to patrons outside of a bar. Confused, I asked the kind patrons what her deal was. They told me she was crazy and to keep driving. This girl was out for blood. I could see it in her eyes as she slowly drove past. I got prepared to be messed with. Keep driving I did, down every side street I could to get away from this loon. By the time I parked my car, she was right behind me, with a menacing smile. After she told me and my car full of people that she was going to “watch our car all night” as a favor to us, I got a little creeped out. Now if it wasn’t MY car, I would have gotten out and ripped her a new one. But that’s what friends are for. She did not back down from her stalking stance, and decided to block traffic with her vehicle so she could sit and watch us. At this point I was getting really mad, because not only was the chick freakin’ me out, but she was standing in between me and my glass of wine waiting for me at reggae night. So I decided to threaten the police on her. The threat of the PoPo always puts people in their place. She drove away.

When the nice police officers arrived, they got her plate number, put it in their high tech little dashboard criminal system, and up popped my stalkers face. Creepy as hell. And apparently notorious for raising hell around town several times. They told me she was nuts and I shouldn’t worry about it. How the heck are you not supposed to worry about a certifiably crazy person, driving around, with your license plate number? Ludicrous. Lesson learned, people with road rage should be allowed medicinal marijuana. Plain and simple.

Quote of the post:

“ I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand, but I keep livin’ this day like the next will never come”- Criminal- Fiona Apple

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