Week Twelve - I’m practically perfect in every way.

New York City

Day 77 - Monday
01.06.2009

So if you remember (many weeks ago now) we are at the HI-New York and the reception we had last night was crap. Because we had booked our 3 night stay over 2 different phone calls we were on separate reservations so had to leave one room for another - not a problem, we are flexible like that. The thing was, we had to check out by 11am but we could only check in at 4pm! Plus as we had about 10 bags each that we could put in their storage lockers but for the pleasure of $5 - lucky us! By this point we were just fucked off so we thought why not do just that. After a quick phone call to out next hostel we were out of there!
We rocked up on West End Studios where we would be spending the remainder of our trip and we instantly got a better feeling. It was a smaller place, we already knew they were flexible with our convoluted booking arrangements and the front desk woman Linda, who I’d spoken to a million times to put in place such arrangements was lovely. Why we hadn’t just come here in the first place I don’t know.

Our plan for the day was to hit up the info centre and find out where everything is in place for when her ladyship arrives - that would be Julie.
I asked about a million questions to the slightly uninformative info guy while Gem got some soup to make herself feel better - she still had a cough and cold and was becoming more diseased by the day.
With our newly acquired gubbins we thought where better to discuss the time and place for our activities than in Bryant Park on 42nd and 5th. A tiny park in comparison to Central but very cool all the same. It had been recommended to us by the lovely Amanda as a good people watching spot and it definitely lived up to its recommendation. We found a spot and chilled out enjoying the remainder of the sun.

That night Gem was too poorly to go out so we made the most of the new private room and chilled out watching T2 on bluey in preparation for the knew film which has to be seen while were in NY.


Day 78 - Tuesday
02.06.2009

So for the first few days we are just milling around waiting for Julie to do all the touristy stuff. As it was a beautiful day and the sun was actually out we headed for a mooch around the East Village - This is a very cool area as they have stopped buildings from going any higher than a few stories i.e. no skyscrapers, so it all feels very open and un-crowded which is a massive contrast to anywhere else in Manhattan.

We wanted to wander around and people watch which is what we did when we sat out on the street and had a fit Mexican lunch. We carried on the lazy day in the sun with an afternoon beer. This was at the White Horse Tavern which we hunted out in particular as this was where author Jack Kerouac used to hang out when he lived in N.Y - it was a must-see for Gem.

The sun had had enough so we thought what better to do in the pouring rain than go and hunt out the original Ghostbusters building on North Moore and West Broadway. We eventually found it and of course posed up against it. It’s still a working fire station and obviously proud of its history with the old sign hanging up on the wall and a mural painted on the ground outside. The firefighters had a giggle at us having a nose - no doubt they get it all the time.

We headed over to 12th and Broadway and Strand Books - a place Gem wanted to visit anyway but when she read in the Village Voice that author David Sedaris was doing a reading it became a definite on the “to do” list. Unfortunately however for queuing for thirty minutes we were seven people short of getting in - sucks!

Later we decided to go to Times Square, check out the cinema and of course go and see Terminator Salvation. I thought it was a very cool film definitely helped by the fact I’d watched the first two before. Gem however being a hardcore fan, thought otherwise, the first words she said to me were “that was shit” - a bit harsh I think, but I agree a little with her, why does Christian Bale have to talk like Dot Cotton in drag in every film?


Day 79 - Wednesday
03.06.2009

We don’t really have anything to do today other than to go to a Buffy the Vampire Slayer convention tonight - there’ll be more of that later.
In the meantime we headed for the LGBT centre to do some recon on all the best bars and clubs and we found out that it was Staten Island and Queens pride in a couple of days so could be worth checking out.

Ok, so the Buffy convention Gem found in the Village Voice - we were amazed and ecstatic that it was still on while we were in the city. I called up to ask about tickets and there were some left (hurrah) and the man at the end of the phone said “come along, there’ll be plenty left.” What a twat is all I have to say. We got all the way to Brooklyn and of course they were sold out. We thought it was going to be an empty room with a handful of geeks discussing the age-old question “would you rather evil Willow or normal Willow?”
However there was a slither of hope as the building was at full capacity but with people who had booked on the phone and hadn’t yet arrived. If they hadn’t arrived in fifteen minutes the queue of people outside including us, could be let in. it was unlikely but we thought why not get chatting to fellow Buffy fans and start our own Buffy fanclub - where else but in a pub.
Inevitably we were well and truly denied when all the ticket holders finally arrived - well who wouldn’t, it is Buffy. As we wandered back to the subway not put off by this blip and only fuelled by the thought of beer we bumped into three girls we had briefly spoken to in the queue. They were on the same wavelength and invited us to a cheap pub they knew of in the east village. Their names were Ellen, Jess and Al and of course two of them were lesbians. Al, I found out much later over several beers was a dominatrix - brilliant. I of course quizzed her on all details.
The pub was small, dirty and grungy and so cheap. We loved it and we had a right laugh with them.


Day 80 - Thursday
04.06.2009

Today has been much awaited and is the day Julie flies into JFK. As it takes an age to get to the airport and we had to be there for early afternoon, we wrote the day off, stayed in and caught up on a lot of blog writing.

Later as we could both continue the blogs while we waited at the airport (we definitely needed the entertainment!) we decided to get there nice and early at 3.30pm ready for the 4.40 arrival time. I definitely wasn’t being late and getting told off.
After our hour and a half subway journey and a lunch break at the airport I only then thought to switch on my English phone just in case. The first message that came through from Julie was that she would be arriving early, and so in the next thirty minutes - brilliant luck. This luck didn’t last long. The next two messages were saying that actually the plane is broken and her new ETA (estimated time of arrival) will be 5.20pm. The arrivals board was actually saying landing time would be 6pm and by the time she eventually came through it was 7.30pm. We had waited 4 hours!
Obviously though it was completely worth it Yates and was amazing to see you again.

Before this magical reunion however who was first to be VIP’d off the plane but Denise Van Outen. With a quick mumbled “dude is that…” Gem whipped out the camera and took the worst paparazzi photo I have ever witnessed - it was brilliant, good work dude.

After our journey back to the hostel, Gem (now in her dorm room) went and chilled out and let Julie and I have a massive catch up. She soon came back however and was sporting a new haircut which she was obviously excited about as literally every other sentence was “I can’t believe my hair.” It’s very nice dear, I like it, I like it a lot.

As we were all a bit peckish we headed out for food and Julie got to tick her first 'American experience box', as we ate in an All-American diner.


Day 81 - Friday
05.06.2009

Right, the party can now get started, Julie is here. Although I never thought it would start this early. She was so excited that I was up, showered and out in the subway by 9am - are you kidding?! It’s a bit different from Gem and our 1pm starts. It’s safe to say I wasn’t functional until a lot later that morning.

Hahaha, the next bit is very funny or very tragic depending on how sympathetic you are. It was raining heavily outside and we’d already gotten drenched on the way to the subway. Usually a place of shelter while travelling from A to B, Julie felt a drip on her leg but thought nothing of it than a drop of rain probably from a leak somewhere. It was only when she reached for something in her bag that she realised the entire contents of a 2-litre bottle of water had leaked and collected in her apparently water tight purse. This is where I had to hold back sniggers while being very supportive of course.
Julie’s bag was fucked. She had to wring out her purse full of dollars, her passport had the “accidentally been through the washing machine” look and what wasn’t funny was that her camera wasn’t working - shit. You handled it very gracefully of course though dear.

The weather was still horrible so with only one slight wrong turn we ended up in Greenwich village for breakfast to try and perk me up a little bit. Unfortunately it just wasn’t mooching around weather as the rain was so relentless so it would just have to be a day for indoor activities.
While Gem hung out with bird Ky who had flown into New York to see her for a few days, Julie and I went to the Guggenheim. On the way however we made one of our many missed turns of the 7 days and ended up out of Manhattan and into Queens. This proved to be a bit of a habit for us as we just didn’t pay attention. We got there in the end though and were pros by the end of the week.

In a word without sounding like a heathen the Guggenheim was boring. It was some sort of anniversary so was jam packed full of architectural exhibits. I don’t know what it’s normally like but architecture isn’t my thing. It was worth it however to see Julie enjoying it.

That night we all went out - Julie and I, Gem and her bird, Ky. The plan was to go out for food and then to hunt out a lesbo bar. The problem was that we’re “all” high maintenance fuckers and by all, I mean Julie and “we” took an age to get ready, so by the time we made it out, found somewhere and sat down for food and drinks it was 12am. It’s a good job it’s the city that never sleeps. Later we found gay bar, the Cubby Hole. The name comes from exactly what you think - it was this very cute and tiny out of the way bar, massively packed but with a really cool atmosphere. We loved it and stayed for the rest of the night.


Day 82 - Saturday
06.06.2009

A bit of a contrast from yesterday as the jet lag was finally catching up with Julie and we ended up having a lazy morning and getting out in the early afternoon.
Our research from earlier in the week paid off and we decided to head over to Staten Island pride. Unfortunately our laziness or relaxed approach to the day had overpowered us and by the time we got the ferry we arrived as it was finishing. There was just enough time to get a rainbow flag for myself and to get chatting to a lovely police woman who of course loved our accents but also thought Julie was a famous face from TV - not quite sure who she though and I’m not making any smart guesses - I’ll get slapped.

A bonus to going over to Staten Island was that we got to get a better look at the Statue of Liberty for free - brillo. She’s very small, much smaller than you’d think but of course we took lots of photos and it was a must-see on our massive list of things to do.
Before we headed back to get ready to go out we took a walk through Wall Street near to where the ferry port is located. As we were only a stone’s throw away we also decided to take a walk around the Ground Zero site. It was very eerie with memorials posted on the adjacent buildings but also strangely commercial with touts trying to sell you postcard books of the disaster. We didn’t spend long but took some photos. It was definitely something I wanted to witness for myself.

Much later we got on our dancing shoes and all of us lesbananas plus Julie went and found Henrietta Hudson - hip all-girl club. We all had lots of fun and danced the night away.


Day 83 - Sunday
07.06.2009

After such a night of drunken debauchery I of course woke with a hangover and was faced with a very busy and very exciting day of music!
We got a wriggle on and headed for our first stop - the Harlem Gospel Choir. It’s the choir that made it all famous and they were on tour and performing at the BB King club in Times Square.
The whole experience included a seemingly family cooked buffet of yams, collared greens, fried chicken and jambalaya - which believe me was much needed. After chowing down and all the leftovers were cleared the fun began with the choir coming out and performing a forty minute set of non-stop energised singing madness with a lot of crowd clapping and arm swaying. They revealed a lot about themselves too telling the audience how they came to be here in front of us, and god of course - the lead singer apparently used to be a crack whore before the music of the church saved her.
It was a lot of fun but only moments with that ending we had to run literally over the road to the second musical experience of the day.
Mary motherfuckin’ Poppins! In a word it was awesome. I’ve seen a lot of musicals in the past; secretly of course being a gay man but this so far surpasses everything. Ever.
We had amazing seats really close to the front in the pit, the sets were just brilliant and the things they did to make the story come to life was quite magical.
I have never been a massive fan of the film so if I had this reaction to the musical you can imagine how Julie was. With Poppins being one of her all-time favourite films, the statement “she loved it” was an understatement. There were several tears shed and several squeals throughout the show.

After that amazing day which I will never forget Julie and I ended it all in Chinatown for food and a slow mooch around soaking up all of the atmosphere.

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