Published: December 12th 2011December 7th 2011
The adrenaline courses through me; sporadic, prickly, hot and icy all at once. The tips of my fingers grow moist and my heart pounds away at my chest. I can almost make out the faint clicking noise of a cart climbing a monsterous rollercoaster. No, that must be my clock. I roll over in bed and listen to the seconds tick by like the gears that carry the cart to its peak. I listen and I wait. My pulse, the gears, the clock- they're are all going at once now. I feel I'm in motion, hurdling through the passage of time itself. Thoughts fly through my mind like bats out of hell. I need to relax. Slow down. Think. I grasp at passing thoughts and feel them slip away into the chaos of my mind: How much money do I need? Is my pack big enough? How long will I be gone? When I catch a thought, I focus on it. I squeeze it. I surgically analyze its every detail. I invent an answer to all of my questions. With logic and a dash of imagination, I create the false reassurances in which I find comfort. I manipulate the idea I'v decidedly left to fate. Thats better. I close my eyes. Finally, with a deep breath and a yawn, sleep arrives to deliver me one day closer to the adventure I conceived so long ago.