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Published: December 15th 2008
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Osaka-jo
Hanami and my birthday celebration at Osaka-jo; one of the days that I'll remember the rest of my life This entry is extremely belated and I’ve wanted to post it several times in the past few weeks. But looking at photos that Andrew posted on facebook was all the inspiration I needed to get the words out that I wanted to say.. and really, those words are simply “I’m so lucky”. I have so much to be grateful for this year, and not enough ways to say thank you enough. At this time last year I wasn’t even sure I’d be going to Japan. I couldn’t get the student aid I needed from my university, and I couldn’t find someone who would co-sign on my loan so I could get the money I needed. My first few weeks of December could easily be described as exasperating, stressful, and extremely emotional: I was working three jobs and going to school full-time, trying to sort these things out even when people were saying “It’s just not going to happen, let it go already”. Going to Japan and being able to study abroad was a dream I’ve had ever since I was small. Lebda told me about Gaidai after she studied there two years prior, and since the day I heard about her own experiences and saw how it changed her life.. I just knew it was something I had to do. And I made it happen; but not without the help from one very special person.
Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, because for me it has always meant time with friends and family. I remember when I was growing up that we’d have two family dinners through that holiday; in the morning we’d have a huge breakfast with my mother’s parents, then in the evening we’d go to my father’s parents house for dinner with my extended family. It was one of the two times a year I was able to see all my cousins, all my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, and spent quality time catching up on the things that went on with them through the year. But as we’ve all grown up the holiday spirit has lessened, and there aren’t as many stories carried on between my cousins and I as they have all gained families and jobs of their own. We’re busier now; it’s not as easy to stop and sit down to just catch up. And that makes me very sad to be honest, because in a way it feels like that it isn’t Thanksgiving anymore. No one talks about the things that made their year special or what they are grateful for, nor do they just take the time to tell their friends what they mean to them. It’s become more about the food and watching American football on television, or watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade and counting all the floats that go by. If anything, I make the resolution that in the coming years I will start my own Thanksgiving tradition to, regardless of where I am, catch up with everyone that I love and stay connected the year round. Why limit special occasions to just holidays when you can celebrate how important people are to you all year long?
I wanted to thank the person who made my Japan trip possible through the Thanksgiving holidays but was very short on time during my visit to North Carolina. I can’t even begin to describe how special and important this past year has been to me. I have gained so many things, things that I know will last for years to come and will not be forgotten should I have any say in it. In this past year I have gained friends I will have for the rest of my life, reconnected with those I had lost contact with, found a family for the first time in years, and changed and grown up in ways I never thought possible. If the me from January could take a look at the me of today.. I don’t think they’d believe it. I think they’d say “that’s impossible” or “that can’t be me, what are you talking about?”. If I could say one thing to the me of yesterday it would be this: never say never, as clichéd as that sounds. Anything is possible if you really want it to happen. So as a belated Thanksgiving message, I thank each and every one of you reading this now for how special and important you are to me. I thank my Gaidai friends for giving me the experiences I’ll carry with me through the rest of my life. To my friends here thank you for supporting me when I was down and out, when times were good and bad, for always being at my side. To my brothers.. I can’t even begin to tell you how glad I am to have found you, and that I’m counting down the days until I’m back in Sweden.
And to Mr. Nobles: I can’t begin to thank you enough for making this all possible to me. It takes the kindness of a complete stranger to make you realize that there are good people in the world who aren’t looking for their own personal gain. I know I only worked for you a few short months before the trouble of my loan came about, but you didn't even hesitate to help me out when you learned about it.. And that takes a very special person indeed to do, I think. I know I could never really repay you for the experiences and happiness I've come to know, but I do hope that someday you can see for yourself how truly happy I am now. You helped me to discover what I really want in of my life; If it weren't for you it might be another ten, twenty years before I even started to change or realize that I have to live without regrets. You deserve only the best, and I hope that I can show you some day just what your kindness was able to give to me. Thank you for everything you have done.
Next entry is a jiko shoukai -- I've had this travel blog several months and realized.. well, I haven't exactly introduced myself properly. If there’s anything you’ve ever wanted to know about me, feel free to ask now! :D I'll try to not let it get too long-winded! Also will try to post for the holidays, and I hope you all have a very good holiday season indeed!
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