a goodbye song

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ah, to leave...

I just walked around the driveway with my cats for the last time...
we go on walks sometimes, and we just went out at night.
I figured, since it's my last night here, we had better go now, and walking, some thoughts came to me and I thought, if I don't write them now, I never shall.

Me and the cats walked by the old black walnut tree, the mist rising up from everything after the rain, seeing the cats' silhouettes walk with me, stopping to pet them. The air this time of year is such a potent perfume, thick with dew and the smells of fall.

I thought to myself, in life, I've found few joys to equal leaving, few that equal quitting. Suddenly, you are free of a burden, of a responsibility. The worries of life do pile up the older you get, they seem to multiply in number, the things we have to carry gain weight, and it just never gets easier does it? I think it just gets more difficult. But as Marley said,

"My feet is my only carriage,
so I've got to push on thru..."

You can travel around the whole world, but home is the strangest place you will ever go.

It's been a long time since I've written, but as I said if I don't do this now, I never shall. For, arriving in Buenos Aires, how should I remember the subtle poetic thoughts inspired in me by this dank maryland air?

It is another goodbye. There are many in my life, seems I always have to move on. I have not yet found my place, my people. But, I have the foolish faith I shall. I suppose some of my most cherished illusions have been torn down from my eyes, and how I wish they hadn't, yet things could not be different.

It's always bitter sweet, saying goodbye...

Anyway, I had to take that last stroll with my cats, because, my time chillin with them has been special. I always admired cats for their laziness, and I think some would say I've now equaled them, tho they don't admire me for it...let me just say that my cats are some of the best people I know.

So, there is always so much to say, so many thoughts swimming around in the sea of the mind, yet, we only ask you take a moment to stop and fish for a few. Tomorrow, new fish will be swimming there. Every day, indeed, every moment is a new pool, a new view. You learn something every day. This painting here, of a young girl, we always wondered who it was, well it turns out it was my grandma, painted by my great uncle...life is strange, very strange, and the ironies only seem to get greater and to subtilise.

"Consider all this; and then turn to this green, gentle, and most docile earth; consider them both, the sea and the land; and do you not find a strange analogy to something in yourself? For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half known life. God keep thee! Push not off from that isle, thou canst never return!"

Despite Ishmael's good advice in Moby Dick, we persist in pushing off from that peaceful Tahiti.

I figured I might as well start again on my aimless philosophizing, and now is as good a time as ever. Life is so funny, and what a strange and fruitful journey it's been.

"Is it not curious, that so vast a being as the whale should see the world through so small an eye, and hear the thunder through an ear which is smaller than a hare’s? But if his eyes were broad as the lens of Herschel’s great telescope; and his ears capacious as the porches of cathedrals; would that make him any longer of sight, or sharper of hearing? Not at all.—Why then do you try to “enlarge” your mind? Subtilize it."

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