4th July


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Published: July 21st 2012
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Wednesday 4th of July My goodness, after the craziness of the 3rd of July how could the fourth possibly get better. I woke up with a hangover, as expected. But it wasn't to bad dew to the long amount of time we spent in a strip club not and the longer amount of time we spent getting home. It was around 12:00pm people were already socialising and making there plans for the evening. I was more focus on showering and recuperating for the whole morning than anything else. Michael was fighting through his oncoming illness. For a change I wasn't to disappointed at his lack of activity as I had other friends to socialise and play with. At about 1pm Nick the American who's birthday it was on the 3rd appeared and I was able to quiz him why he left the strip club in such a panic. Turns out it was for a variety of reasons. One he had a girlfriend and was having a major guilt trip. Two the stripper said for a bit extra she would take him back to the hotel room her pimp had got her, and give him the full service. Then he said once outside the stripper called him and said he could not come because her husband was on the way and if he was the he would kill him. Well isn't that great a stripper/prostitute with a Husband. I don't know about you but I could marry a stripper/prostitute, it would be like riding an old bike that is shared out at your local community centre probably rusty and very banged up. After a while of chatting Michael arose from his slumber feeling a little more refreshed. He had been drinking a lot more water in the day and had been feeling the benefits. I was talking to Matt about his antics over last night with Annalise and apparently they went back to his room to find Ben lying in the double bed. At which point Ben was woken up and told to move beds to the single bed. Ben told me he death starred at his good friend and was very angry but moved obviously as his friend would have moved for him. They had an agreement that most close friends would have if there friend got lucky. Ben put his iPod in rolled over to face the wall and tried to go to sleep. Unfortunately for Ben his iPod ran out after ten minutes. He was left to cry himself to sleep while listening to his friends noises. One can only imagine how awkward they must have felt with each other on the rest of there long journeys. Hopefully the experience made them closer. After sharing stories from the night Michael, myself, Ben, Matt and the hostel manager Mike all went to a park just down the road to throw an American football around. My hand eye co-ordination had definitely improved whilst we had been away. I'm sure even Michael would agree that my catching has improved ten fold. Turns out I can throw an American football quite far and well. We spent a good hour or so throwing the ball around watching a kid and his dad practise baseball the kid was creaming it everywhere he was so close to the cars nearby but it appears his dad couldn't give a shit up until the child of nine hit a high ball straight up on top of a nice looking blacked out truck parked outside someone's house they immediately packed up there stuff and left. Another example of amazing American parenting. We left and headed back to the hostel where they were putting on a free barbecue and beers for the fourth of July celebrations. Michael and I got a lift in the car with Annalise to the local Walmart. A place we feared to go on foot, as we had to walk through the getto. It was fourth of July and kids were making their own fun again. This time two liter bottles filled with god only knows, were being thrown high in the air. Then every one of the nine year olds ran for cover because when it hit the floor it exploded with a very loud bang another superb example of lack of education and parenting for safety. On the other hand though I'm sure there chemistry professor would be very proud that they listened to on talk about chemical reactions. At one point one of the bombs was thrown just as an old lady pulled up in her car. I wasn't their to witness it but Matt informed me that watching a large 70 year old lady wielding her handbag round her head shouting and chasing children. Who were howling with laughter as her sagging voluptuous bosom swayed side to side in her tent like dress. Was one of the funniest things he's seen all trip. We finally arrived at the zoo the locals called Walmart. All we needed was beers and face paint. Beers they had, face paint the didn't the next best thing was acrylic paint. Sod it might as well. While we were walking round chatting to Annalise she offered us to join her in the car from New Orleans to Texas but she would be leaving the next day we decided it would be better than the greyhound and definitely better to be in a group so we could get a cheap hotel room. We also picked up two impulse purchases from Walmart in extra extra large women's size two turquoise t-shirts. Michael's had a picture of a cartoon T-Rex, with a caption T-rexy and I know it. Mine had a picture of a cartoon pug dresses as a G with a caption that read Notorious P.U.G, we were going to look awesome. When we got back the party was already underway. We cut the girls sleeves of our tops to make them wife beaters. And I started to paint my face Michael opted out of the painted face at the last minute. He said he sweat from the face and it would run. Aww Diddums! So I was left to soldier it alone must say most people were very impressed buy our effort. We went outside and watched a few games of flip cup. Got ourselves a burger and started consuming lots of beer lots of vodka and anything else we could lay our hands on. After a couple of hours the hostel managers had ordered taxis outside to pick us up and take us all to the river to watch the fireworks. In my life I have been to some large bonfire night fireworks and other firework events. This must have been the largest the bangs from the fireworks made my chest shake and the displays were amazing. There was so many people from the hostel it was hard to stay together as we all split into smaller groups. At few points I got talking to some Americans they asked if we celebrated the fourth of July in England. Prime example of the American idiocy we had heard of I replied why in England would we celebrate losing a war to someone. I must say it was strange being a Brit in America. I said to Michael as a joke we should have both dressed in red coats and like back in the day. Would have probably got beaten up though decided best to blend in. From the fireworks all the groups got together on a mound by the side of the road and carried on drinking, laughing and joking around. Once we were all we're ready we headed on foot to Bourbon street. On the way we bought more cans off beer from the stores along the road. At one point we were passed on the pavement buy three police horses I know that's probably not that weird but when drunk and suddenly come face to face with a horse it freaked me out. When we arrived at bourbon street it was heaving with people. We all got our jesters as usual and headed into the clubs we had been in before. Seemed in New Orleans they were majorly into live music. The performances were great it was generally jazz and blues style but the best was when they did famous songs or chart songs. Because we were in a large group we started a dancing circle it was so funny as all the old school moves came out like the lawn mower. I decided in my drunken state to try something I haven't done since junior school the caterpillar basically it's the worm going backwards. To my surprise I pulled it of and everyone went wild. This for me a massive at tension seeker was a brilliant moment in my trip. After a while there were people from all over in the circle it was a brilliant experience. But is was about time to move on we all went to another bar just down the road again the crowd was going while as the band was playing some absolutely classic song and live versions of some great dance tracks. Well by then I was battered going mental and jumping around like the world biggest idiot. Fortunately I had my good friend who would never let one drunken idiot jump on his own. The hostel crowd was loving it and the band was buzzing from the crowds enthusiasm. At one point they invited the girls on the stage. At which point the played I kissed a girl buy Katie Perry. I must say it didn't take to much heckling from the crowd before they all started sticking their tongues down each others throats and bumping and grinding on each other. Katie Perry is right girls just love it. I left that bar worn out and with no voice about their was only about ten of the hostel people left out so we decided to go home on the way we were getting beads thrown at us everywhere. Apparently if you get your tits out, even as a guy you get beads as well. Annalise and I were having a major competition to see who could get the most she won as she got them out for a full ten seconds for a red, white and blue feather bower. We got just to the end of Bourbon street as the trolley arrived I had somehow acquired a three foot long drinking bong which had no use to me at all I had finished drinking for the night and I couldn't take it with me it was to big. But whatever it was the Independence Day.

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