---

T and I are seasoned pros at navigating Walt Disney World and have been able to see tons of stuff with an almost mathematical precision. Unlike our other travel destinations which lend themselves well to natural impulsiveness; we have found that the key to a blister-free and joyful visit to Disney is to approach it with the same planning and forethought otherwise reserved for invading another country. (Stop it – it is sojust as much fun as winging it).

The theory is a simple one: avoiding long lines = more fun.



Think about it…long lines mean more waiting. More waiting means time lost, fewer rides, sorer feeties and general crankiness not at all in the spirit that Walt intended. We gotta keep the magic flowing, baby, and the only way to do that is to not get trapped in a line for two hours. (And this has happened to people. We saw it. Entire families in a two-hour long line. Sweaty, tired families. I believe some of their children were weeping). To help prevent you from falling into such appalling conditions, we’re about to lay some yoda-like wisdom on you of our best tips and tricks, so get a pencil (I’ll wait).



Back? Good. Here we go:



a) Go during low seasons. You automatically will have more manageable crowds (this means conversely never, ever go at the busiest times. Avoid Christmas or you’ll be so miserable from the crushing crowds and long waits that being stuck in Disney on his birthday might actually make you hate Jesus). The other bonus to low season is that prices are better.

b) Get a "touring map" or an App that will give you the most efficient way to navigate the parks and rides and DO NOT deviate even if the directions seem counter-intuitive. We made that mistake once long ago (we got cocky and figured we knew best) and paid miserably for it by having to wait in the longest line of our trip and destroying any hope of efficiency for the rest of the day. Groan. Some rides are busier at certain times of the day just as certain parks may be and these maps and Apps will plot the most efficient course for you. The touring plans have unquestionably saved us hours of waiting. If you don’t use one, you deserve the suffering that ensues.

c) Work the "Fast Passes" like a politician at a state primary. Disney lets you obtain a FP and bypass the regular line at most of their rides. The FP is printed with the time you can return to skip ahead and what time you can obtain your next fast pass. Use them and get your next one as soon as you are able. An added bonus: the sick pleasure of being able to pass the tired masses waiting in the regular long line. Mwaaaa haaa haaaa! Evil, I know.



d) If you are going to stay in a hotel anyway, stay on resort. When you do, you can benefit from "Extra Magic Hours" that let on-site hotel guests into certain parks an hour early, or allows them to stay and ride for 2-3 hours after closing to the general public. An equally good perk is an efficient shuttle system that runs all day between your hotel and all the parks. Nice right? No navigating the Disney parking lots or having to drive home after a long day. Sweet.



Next:The Clash of the Titans: Harry Potter vs. Mickey Mouse in an all-out, thrown down, crack open a can of whoop-a…..

---