Delete. Backspace, backspace, delete....

Delete. Backspace, backspace, delete....

That's exactally what it feels like. Remeber that feeling when you started to pack for college - putting all your things in boxes for that first *big move... ya know, where you'd be living on your own for the *very first time. Scary wasnt it. A lot of you wouldnt admit that. That's okay. But you all know that YOU were scared. Scared to find out who that psycho roommate was, scared because of that evil professor... scared that classes would be too hard... but at the same time, you were thrilled! Exicited! You couldnt WAIT! You wanted to get the hell out of your parent's house - you didnt want to live by rules anymore...

Well, in so many ways, what I am experiencing right now is just that... but on a much larger scale.

I realized two days ago, that I leave on my life's next adventure in less than two weeks.. That I need to get my shit sold and out of here before I leave. I've got three major things to sell... couch, kayak and some chairs... It's not that I'm packing up my junk to move.. oh no, I'm deleting... backspacing my life..

I dont know how to really describe it... But for any of you who have experienced the death of a loved one, you know how tough it is to get rid of their stuff... well, imagine if you're getting rid of YOUR stuff... like your first purchase of a stereo in 8th grade - from all the graudation money you recieved... or, that big screen TV you've had since your 15th birthday. That kinda sucks, because all the memories go with your material possessions.

I have been trying to hold on the little important things that I still have.. but posting stuff to my *remote location is tough. yesterday I mailed 128 bucks worth of junk to Australia... what was it you ask..oh, just clothes I'm never going to wear. It's just the fact of having a little part of my life there for me keeps me saine.

It's hard. I've got a suitcase on the floor half full... two pair of shoes and two pair of jeans to last me for the next three weeks.

I have a brand new printer that no one will buy that I have to practally give away... I have folding chairs that no one wants.. a barely used kayak no one seems to like and the most comfortable couches in the world that no one shows intrest in. Sigh.. People who know me well laugh at me because I've been trying to sell them forever... Again, in less than 2 weeks to go, these things NEED to go...

I cry when I drive to work... well, I would cry at work, beuause it sucked... but now I cry *to work because DC has been my home for the past 6 years. It's hard to leave DC even though it's the (least friendly next to london) 'coldest' city I've lived in... But, I've been though this transition before, I know what to expect.

You get sad. You move. You settle in, getyour bearings.. get sad again, get a little more sad, and then you adapt. You start to intergrate yourself with the culture and then you cry when you enter the departure gate at the airport. There's just so many emotions that go along with this.. you think to youself.. wow, i really gotta figure out the time difference so I know when to call.. I mean, if you move just across the country, that's a big step, but you're still only 2 time zones or away... I mean, I'm moving father than Hawaii... I will be totally upside down minus two hours!!! That's a long way away... 19.5 hours from the East Coast...

But ya know what, I know I'll manage. I know I'll be okay. This is the best move for me right now. I need this. I cant NOT turn this away. This is too important. Life is too mysterious and important to let an opportunity like to to pass me by.

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