Published: June 18th 2012June 17th 2012
So after 9 bathroom stops and the internal battle of do I have it do I need it...we made it to the airport.
Sad to say no flashy upgrades were offered up. So we made our way through customs followed by the usual peruse through duty free. Feeling famished...refer to the first sentence I forked out $23 big ones for water, two slices and a savoury something! It then dawned on me this trip was never about saving money.
We board the plane - one very full plane not a spare seat and thank god I have a normal person (size, smell, hygiene) sitting next to me and then there is the the stranger, he seems nice too.
I sit through a movie recommend by Ms Roling and start to feel the need to sleep. I take a couple of aids and drift of listening to the sounds of heavy rain (the shear brilliance of modern technology).
I awake to bright sunlight peering thought the blind and the need to use the shoe box to relieve my full bladder. So after a somewhat complicated gymnastic routine of trying to put my shoe back on and peeling myself off my seat, I make my way to the queue of people - who I imagine have just completed a perfect 10 themselves to get to this point.
I use the shoe box and yes...I do wonder how is it possible to become a member of the often proclaimed mile high club, Christ taking a piss was hard enough!
We land to a beautiful sunny day and a reasonably easy transition through customs, the share physical size of the airport is in itself of interest. It's now you realise "you are in America"
We arrive to our cute hotel nothing flash and just down from what appears to be the San Franciscos shopping district. We unpack freshen up and hit the streets.
First stop lunch and a coffee - God I was hanging out for a coffee. We walk approximately 1km down the road to Sweet Woodruff cafe (think Kingsland indie). Order a salad and coffee...Salad order was easy and for the coffee I communicate with a mixture of hand gestures and pigeon english? Coffee isn't a short mach or trim flat white with the tide out - its iced coffee or hot coffee (which is an extremely long black).
We carry on wandering the streets stumbling across cool quirky shop after cool quirky shop - one particular Whisky shop laid claims to the West Coast's biggest selection of Whisky. There was wall to wall single malts!
The more we walked the more two things kept reoccurring. 1. Beautiful architecture - San Fran has done a remarkable job keeping their history, their soul if you will. A refreshing approach, when we seem all to quick to pull ours down. 2 Homeless people, I guess this is poignant reminder that this is what happens when there is no state intervention or support for the less fortunate.
6.30 rolls around and we are fading fast, we head to an all American Diner...very Happy Days if you will. We order a burger and fries accompanied by a Budweiser and Cherry Cola.
So after a short wait out comes these huge burgers and fries accompanied with (go on guess have a guess) watermelon! Beats me why. Any way we could have fed half the homeless in San Fran with these. So it is quickly decided we will sample our monster sized cholesterol inducing mains leaving enough room for a sundae. The anticipation is killing me - will half of NZ's dairy exports go into this on sundae??? And we are not disappointed it is huge, 4 cherries and more cream than you would find on twenty pavlovas. My draw drops as I watch a banana split get delivered...this isn't your usual split a banana with two scoop of ice ice cream. No no its two whole bananas and at a guess 5 scoopes of ice cream with cream, cherries, chocolate sauce, nuts etc. it is now very clear why America has an obesity problem!!
We pay up and leave and on the way home we run into the coolest store - Urban Outfitters. Ms Roling battled with her Dutch ancestry and made the first purchases of what I sense for both of us could be many!!
Day one is drawing to an end, my eyes are heavy and the zzzz are calling. But so far San Fran is fucking, cool looking forward to Golden Gate bridge and the water front area tomorrow.
Weather wise for anyone who's interested....Windy - a lazywind that cuts straight through you! And there is a weird fog like drizzle that hovers around the skyline.
Signing off, Brownie and Ms Roling.
Below is, if you will, the quote of the day. This will be recorded by Nicole making sure you get full disclosure, this blog is real and unedited!
Just a selection of I conversation I had with Alex:
[Alex gets in the shower]. "Come on Brownie wash all that fart off you. When you think about it, all of those people on that plane would've farted at least once, that's minimum 400-500 farts. I know I farted about 10 times. Mine didn't smell though. I did a little test fart first to check. Well they were going to come out when I was asleep so I just was checking no one in our near vicinity was in danger. Didn't want any sick bags used. Butter chicken was the best of a bad situation, worst comes to worst, little fart. No. More like 20 little farts."