Pride Weekend in San Francisco

Sunny San Francisco?

One of the favourite sayings of San Franciscans belongs to that famous American humourist Mark Twain, who once said wryly: The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco. There's a good deal of truth to the situation as well. San Francisco is blessed and cursed with its unique climate. The spring and autumn are gorgeous, sunny, and temperate, but for the most part, the summers are terribly cold and foggy. This is owing to the heat of the valley. As it heats up, the air rises, leaving a bit of a vacuum. The air that is then sucked in is the cold air from the pacific, known as advection fog.

So as I left the house that day, in a hurry to buy a cup of tea before taking Derry to the Airport for his weekend trip to Utah for a ballooning adventure, I cursed myself for having forgotten my sunscreen. Then I thought, oh well, it's San Francisco, how bad can it be. Oh man, if those don't sound like famous last words, I don't know what will. But I was off, it was too late, and the day's events were set.

I planned to meet Pilla in The City (as San Francisco is known to Bay Areans*) at Taqueria Pancho Villa in the Mission - the greatest and best taqueria in the City - This is fiercely debated by most of my friends, however, but I stick to it. The prices can't be beat and the portions will fill the bellies of even the hungriest of travelers. What's more, their wet burrito, my favourite of American-Mexican foods. Huge - Delicious; they are the hallmarks of Pancho Villa's

*Note: Calling San Francisco either "Frisco" or "San Fran" will earn you the ire of all the city's denizens. Stick with "The City." It's just better that way.

Pilla eventually arrived as I stood in line ordering my burrito. She went back to try to find parking (this is not an easy task in San Francisco) By time she got back I had my order, but as it was so huge I gave her half and we both had our fill. She had to admit, albeit grudgingly that Pancho Villa's was alright after all. But now she was in charge of the events to follow. We took to the streets and wandered down to another gem of San Francisco life: Zeitgeist Bicycle Bar. This bar, rated as the best bicycle bar in the City (which may or may not be meaningful, because I don't actually know of any other bicycle bars in The City), has also, apparently, been rated as the most heterosexual bar in the San Francisco. Who votes on this - I don't know.

We got there and order drinks. My Gin and Tonic came in a pint glass for $6 and it was a good pour to boot. We then wandered out to the patio, where this story starts to come full circle. As the sun scorched me, Pilla proceeded to dismantle me, absolutely annihilate me. She defeated me so handily and miserably, that I was embarassed to have admitted to ever having played the game of Chess in my life time. In fact, someone who had never played the game in their life surely would have faired better than I.

It was then that I was rescued by the appearance of a guy I had met in Granada named Ari, who I had flaked on in Barcelona (he managed not to be around on the Sunday, so I guess we're now even. Although he did not so much flake as was not available to take my call). What a small world. Pilla was a little distracted by the conversation, but was still plotting a way to destroy me once again. The Universe clearly saw her invasion plan in the works and brought forth the Kamikaze (or divine wind) to save me. The pieces blew all over the place, thus ending the second routing of my feeble forces.

Later that night we went out for dinner, joining Pilla's boyfriend and friends for another drink and then Dinner in North Beach, the Italian district, but not before dragging me out shoe shopping, which thankfully had a half hour cap on its time limit. More thankfully I had a book. I have nevr understood women's obsession with shoes. If I have to spend more than 20 minutes of actually shopping time for a pair of shoes, they obviously don't exist and I must give up for another day. But the idea that one might buy multiple pair of shoes in a single venture, although commonplace among many of the fairer sex, is shocking to me.

Admittedly, Pilla was pretty quick, and she didn't mind me making fun of her with sardonic jabs, so it could have been worse. In general, however, shopping with women is more-or-less my idea of hell. This being said, I have to say that when Derry tuned into Larry King Live to watch the Paris Hilton interview, I reviewed my opinion of shoe shopping - it's been upgraded to some kind of horrible purgatory, that although terrible, is infinitely preferable than even five minutes listening to that spoiled airbag of a heiress that consumes the dedicated attention of a people that could be worrying about much more important thoughts like those related to belly button lint or perhaps even world hunger.

Gay Day: Pride Not Prejudice in the City

I lived here for 7 years, but shamefully never once came to see or support the Gay Pride parade; I have no excuse, but I thought it was time to make amends and if I didn't go this time around, it's likely I'd never end up seeing it. After all, there are few things more quintessentially San Francisco from a cultural point of view than the Gay Pride parade.

I got there via the train and walked to Market Street. I got there a little bit late to score a prime spot, but thought I'd walk down the street to see what I could find. I was in luck; they just started to shut down some of the cross streets, so I moved into grab a front row seat in the in a crosswalk. It cannot be denied that I scored on that account. The parade itself was an exciting mixture of people dressed in balloons, lesbians on motorbikes, known as Dykes on Bikes (really!), naked dudes riding bicycles, children and politicians, parents who are gay, parents who are not but support their sons and daughters, organizations like the school-born Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA), marching bands, and acrobats, even the odd celebrity like George Takei (better known as Hikaru Sulu from the original Star Trek series. It was exciting to watch, but at a certain point it began to drag a bit for me, and owing either to poor organization, or simply a petering out of good floats, it seemed more to be a series of stragglers and taggers on than a parade after an hour or so had passed.

First Principle of North American Public Nudity: The ratio of nudity displayed by a subject is inversely related one's desire to see it.

Second Principle of North American Public Nudity: The ratio of one's level of desire is inversely related to the amount of full frontal nudity one will actually see.

So I got up and did what I most like to do in San Francisco - I walked. (I made a map on this thing, but the routes never seem to convert into this program properly. So it seemed that I had walked into the bay and back after I loaded it on; needless to say, I deleted it). One of the things that makes San Francisco great is that it is not so much a city, as it is an agglomeration of distinct, and in many ways self-contained, neighborhoods that just happen to be placed together to look like a city to unwitting outsiders. A great many cities could learn a good deal from San Francisco.

I walked up from Market St. to Union Square where I knew I could sneak into the St. Francis hotel and take a pee in their lobby bathrooms (truthfully, walking around in North American cities, makes logistics a bit more interesting, because business's willingness to allow you to use their bathrooms is markedly less enthusiastic than most other places in the world I've found. From their I march up to the Mark Hopkins Hotel in Nob Hill to find out if Lavay Smith and her Red Hot Skillet Lickers still play their heavily innuendoed blues/jazz genius on Wednesday nights for something to do next week. She's a legend.

From there I wandered down to Ghirardelli Square, hoping to catch a full shot of the Golden Gate Bridge for a picture. I've learned that city planners, whether inadvertently or intentionally have made it near impossible to see the entire bridge from street level any where in The City. Oh well, of to Ghirardelli where you can get good, free chocolate samples, handed out to you by interesting foreign students (at times). Today it was a cute Bulgarian girl who was from Sofia, so we talked for a couple minutes about her city and how much I enjoyed it before I moved on to find a cup of clam "chowda" as they would say on the east coast, and famously in the Simpsons. I was not dressed for the fancy restaurant, but one of the great elements of San Francisco society, is the exceptional sense of egalitarian fashion rights, there are few places that will reject you based on your clothing, assuming you're wearing some that is relatively clean and present. So they did let me in and I did not begrudge them that they hid me in a corner where I would not foul the atmosphere with my casual dress. They served me great chowda and beer, how could I be offended? Happy people are not likely to complain and the combo of two of my favourite things makes me happy.

With that, I walked off towards the Marina and reveled in the glory of gorgeous sunbathing women as I wound my way through various grassy patches, parks, and former airstrips, thanking San Francisco for its rare sunshine in which its denizens will hardly pass up a chance to bask. Good times. The Palace of Fine arts at the western edge of the Marina District is, in my opinion, the most beautiful site in the entire city. Built for a World's Fair which celebrated the completion of the Panama Canal, the Romanesque building is a wonder to visit, frolic in (as they did in the great SF based film So I Married an Axe Murderer with Mike Myers), or propose to your girlfriend or boyfriend (why not in this modern age) as my brother did to his girlfriend, who I now refer to as a sister outlaw.

I hung out their for a while, but had to find a place to pee again, this time desperately. I finally found a gas station, where even there I had to buy some mints before I could use the bathroom. I looked back up the hill I had walked down and decided that taking a bus up the hill wouldn't be so bad. So I let it climb me up the 2kms before hopping off and wandering over to the Filmore district - the music scene as well as the Alamo Square Historical District where most of the great Victorian homes SF is so well known for are located.

At this point I wandered down to see if the party was still going down behind City Hall. It was, but by this time, it was getting late-ish, and I had promised to pick up my roommate at the airport. So I started the long walk over to Noe Valley to pick up the car. Those of you following this story may notice that I took the train into town on this morning, so you may be saying "uuuh?" But here's how it went. On Friday I drove down too hang out with Pilla, but knew I would be drinking, so I parked the vehicle my aunt and uncle lent me in a nice safe area of Noe Valley, where it could fit in and hang out safely until I picked it up on Sunday. Besides, the SUV, hybrid or not, still guzzles very expensive gas.

On the way back I stopped in the Castro, the famously "gay" district of San Francisco, to have a great pot of tea at one of the best cafes in the City, the Samovar Tea Lounge. I love tea, and there are few places where you can find such a diverse array of great teas.

After I had my fill, and tittered with with a caffeine buzz, I walked to Noe Valley, which one might call the maternity district of a largely child free city. I walked around my old digs, picked up my car, and left the City the way I had come in two days earlier. It had been a great long day. All told, if you subtract the 2kms of bus travel, I walked 22.3kms up and down the hills of San Francisco. It was probably the longest walk I've done in The City, but a great one. One thing remains certain, there are few cities that you can walk around and not concern yourself with how far you a traveling; there's just too much to see, and so many great places to eat and drink. No matter which way you slice it. San Francisco is one of the world's great cities, perhaps my favorite in the world.

---

---