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Published: October 27th 2006
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It was a relatively early start today as Pete and John had to get back to San Francisco for a meeting about timeshares or something so I was dragged out of bed and we went to the restaurant across the street called "Heidi's" on Pete's recommendation. It was a nice little place, quiet cosy in its own little way and I foolishly ordered the blueberry pancakes as I was feeling a bit peckish and fancied something more substantial than a bagel. However, when the thing arrived it was enormous, there were like eight large pancakes in the stack and instead of having the bluberries cooked into them they were just liberally poured over the top, with a big ol' dollop of cream for good measure. You'll be shocked to hear that even I couldn't manage to finish this gargantuan feast and considering it was a breakfast after a night of drinking that is some huge meal, let me tell you.
Having got back to the city around lunchtime we stopped off in a little restaurant on the wharf and it was here that I was to learn the first about life in America. Rule 1: All but one dish on
the menu in any eatery in the US contains either cream or cheese; usually cheese. Every place I've been to my order has been decided before I get there as I never trust waiting staff to pass on the message "no cheese" and inevitably I have to send it back when it arrives covered in parmesan, or some such thing. For the man who likes neither cheese nor cream, America is not going to be a culinary cornucopia, you'll end up just having a plain burger every where you go because that's the only thing without cheese on it.
Anyway, after a nice cheeseless lunch I finally went out on my own for the first time into the big city. Pete had found this thing called City Pass where you pay $49 and get entry into 6 or 7 attractions across the city and free travel for 7 days on all Muni transport, which is nearly all the public transport in San Francisco. Having decided this was probably my best bet for getting out there and seeing the city as it would structure where I was going and would save me a hell of a lot of money I
trundled down the quayside in North Beach to Pier 39, and it's apparently "World famous" street performers that I've never heard of, to buy my ticket and go on the Bay Cruise with the Blue and Gold Fleet. It was a bright sunny day and I wasn't sure how well the weather would hold for the rest of the week so it was pretty much by default that I'd do the only outdoor activity on the pass. When I was all paid up and armed with my booklet of tickets I went over to Pier 41 to get on the boat, only to find that the next one wasn't for an hour or so - this hadn't stopped some people queueing, pah, tourists!?! - and I decided that I should just do the Bay of the Aquarium tour in the meantime as it was next door. Despite being relatively small and far too eager to try and sell me on the idea of marine conservation - I was there to look at fish, not listen to hippies - it was actually a very nice place. It focused on the life found within the bay so there were only a few leopard sharks, sturgeons, rays, etc. but there was a good variety. A VERY Californian blonde, pig-tailed aquarium worker was very helpful with my questions and somehow beat me to the end of the tour without passing me at any point, which I thought was a bit weird.
When I got to the Bay Cruise there was a bigger line and I joined in. They take a photo of each group behind a life preserver with the company name on it before you get on the boat and I have to say that didn't make me feel fantastic, ol' billy-no-mates there standing with a gormless smile on my face. Anyway, these are the things I learned from my Bay Cruise:
(1) Never wear navy blue trousers if you plan to wear a navy blue coat. When you get offshore and the wind necessitates you to do up you jacket people may mistake you for a member of the crew as you look decked out for an ocean voyage.
(2) San Francisco Bay is VERY windy.
(3) Japanese tourists have no interest in "nice" photos of anything, all they are interested in is them standing in front of some recognizable landmark with a gormless grin on their faces.
(4) (3) is so true that complete strangers come up to you in incredibly broken English and ask through a series of pointing and noise-making whether you want them to take your photo of you grinning gormlessly in front of a recognizable landmark as you are clearly a billy-no-mates who has no-one to take photos for him. Kinda sweet really.
(5) Blue & Gold Fleet tours think it is fun and amusing to have "Captain Nemo" and his friends give a barely audible audio tour during the trip.
(6) It isn't.
(7) Alcatraz was at some point in the 20th century occupied by the Sioux under some old legislation that provided for the Sioux to legally be allowed to occupy disused government property.
(8) The sealions at the end of Pier 39 don't bask there for safety reasons, they have no predators within the bay, but instead do so because... well because they can. True San Franciscans, adapting to the West Coast, chilled out lifestyle that asks "Why make life harder when it can be free and easy? Kick back and have a J, man."
After disembarking and hurrying past the photos with the life preservers I decided to try and walk to Chinatown before heading home. What looks a small distance on the map grows significantly when you involve large hills and more hills. I made it to Little Italy - which I thought was little Mexico due to all the red, white and green hoops on the lamp posts until I saw that every cafe, shop and restaurant ended with the suffix -oni's - before giving up and trying to make my way back home.
Public transport in San Francisco is crap. There are no signposts anywhere, what few stops there are for buses, trams etc. don't have maps on them so you've got no idea where you're trying to get to at any time, and worst of all there are large gaps in the grid whereby you need to walk half a mile just to get to the next route. A friendly bus driver on Market Street helped me out and pointed me in the right direction and a less than friendly bus driver took me all the way back to Stanyan Street, after I'd waited at the stop on one of the busiest streets in the city for over 20 mins. before ANY buses came, and I finally made it to the house. Pete was particularly surprised as he'd set me the challenge earlier in the day of getting back without having to take a cab, so I was quite pleased with myself.
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