Apartment C

Seeing as I've grown accustomed to living out of my car, my purse, my trunk, I'm able to justify commuting twenty-five minutes to work. Though I knew my roommate little, rarely do I. The house key lay on the air-conditioning unit outside the house- it ought to do fine. El Cajon is not a city I prior recalled within the San Diego county, yet $300 a month was reason enough at the time.

I then learned that a prior tenant was recently restricted from the premises due to drugs on-site- all remaining a wet-dog odor.

Despite such, the lone city was a breath compared to the inability to breath (and drive at a steady speed) due to traffic in central San Diego. I was to live with a friend and she has prior accepted another roommate, to which she nor I knew; despite, she paid the rent. We'll call her Mona.

I tend to have an active imagination for an adult so upon eyeing Mona's food supply- organic, whole-wheat, "let-us-reason-the-sugar-laden-organic-food". Admission to the Y's high-temperature-yoga and a variety pack of tea, and we were to have the best of times, she and I.

Then I met her drugs. Then her boyfriends and his drugs. And then her boyfriend's friends and so on.

I knocked on her door the first day she arrived and the conversation went like so:

I- (Attempting mad periphereal eye footage while maintaining eye contact...)- Hi there- just seeing if you needed a hand with your room.

Mona- Yea?

I- Um...well yea! So- need help?

Mona- Nah.

I- Okay- well if you do, just let me know.

Mona- Won't.

I- (Moment of silence.) Right then.

(The wood smells new- i.e. door shut.)

(Well that went well.)

And the second conversation:

Mona- Have you seen my snake?

I- You're going to have to be more specific.

Mona- My snake. Did you take it.

I- I can't recall taking a snake, no. Perhaps a description? Any distinguishing characteristics I should keep an eye out for- oh I don't know...say, shapes on the top of its head?

Mona- Just long and grey.

(Perfect, I am thinking. I ought to be well within reach seeing as I SLEEP ON THE FLOOR. Nevermind my roommate's panting dog whom attempts on occupying the smallest space beside me. I'd much rather entertain a snake in the middle of the night.)

She didn't stay long.

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