Leaving the USA.

FRESNO

.
I complete my fast food tour with a 'massive meat sandwich' breakfast from Burger King. - Fantastic!
I am sure that the reason for the 'obesity' epedemic is the availability, abundance, and low cost (relatively) of the fast food restaurants. They are everywhere and they are cheap, but most importantly - you don't have to tip!

Starbucks for coffee again as we have given up looking for anywhere else (it just leads to disappointment) and when we explained to the young girl at the register where we were from and where we were going, she asked (with the most bewildered look on her face) 'What made you come to Fresno?' (even the locals dont see the reason to visit, it seems).

We explained that we were driving from Yosemite to LA and ran out of daylight and that seemed to satisfy her. I think that if we told her that we wanted to come to Fresno she would have called the cops on us . . .

Los Angeles - LAX

Back to LA and all the plans to actually do something are abandoned. Just check in, post office, return hire car and leave plenty of time to catch on postcards, emails, blogs and even lunch. Right? Wrong!

What actually happened was this...
Check in: got to Terminal about five hours early (to get a good seat this time), only to find the Lufthansa queue almost out the door . . . Three quarters of an hour burned there. Think thats it as far as check in goes? Wrong!

Then had to hand deliver our bags to screening and that queue just did not move! I think that the machine must have been broken because when we started to move it took about twenty minutes, but another three quarters of an hour burned there.

Finding a post office: This was fun as our directions weren't right, but near enough to get us close . . .
Pack 5 kilos of souvenirs and other assorted crap into a box, and then sent away again to do it properly . . .
A whole hour (and 60$ US burned there) . . .

Return Car: Luckily we were close to the rental return place as we spotted the 'Crown Plaza' building (next door to our rental place) and beat a hasty path there.
A quick unpack of the rental, pay the excess miles (25$ worth), and we are taken back to the Airport.

In short order we are back at departure and find a quiet out of the way spot to re-arrange our bags and write some postcards.

Where is the GPS? "I don't know that is your responsibility".

"It was on the dash, did you pack it"?

"I'm not sure...(insert noises of bags upturned, frantic searching).

I raced back down to arrivals and called old mate on the house phone and tell him what has happened.

"I cant help you right now, the police have pulled me over and are making my life VERY difficult for me".

"Umm, umm...".

"Can you call back and pretend to be my family".

"What do you want me to say; that we are waiting at the airport"?

"No, that wont work. You catch the crown shuttle to the office and I'll get it for you".

"Right, thanks".

I run outside to see where the shuttle leaves from, approximatley 300 m away - no crown... A quick jog sees me there just as it turns up - and drives right past! Luckily pulls in a couple of busses further on. I leap on board followed by two more sweating Australians (also had to run for the shuttle).

The shuttle bus weaves through LAX traffic like a madmam but it still isn't fast enough for me. There are still approximately 2 hours before the flight leaves, but I am in high adrenalin mode.

Luckily the bus pulls up first at the parking station that houses the rental cars and I'm off like a shot. I burst into the office expecting to find old mate and the GPS. Niether are there. I think the cops still have im (what did he do?). I expalian the situation to the office girl in breathless English.

She replys in broken English "Litch car? The Mustan?". She starts searching for keys on the front desk. I spot them, snatch, and sprint out the door into the parking complex, up two flights, unlock, retrieve, lock, back down two flights, toss her the keys, yell "Got it, thanks", U turn back out the door, across a paved square just in time to stop the shuttle bus as it was pulling away from the hotel.

Made it! The shuttle rockets back to LAX departures and unbelievably I'm back in less than half an hour.

Through customs and I look for some duty free to calm my nerves...

Shop Duty-Free: But they are all shut, so it's back out into the terminal, buy booze, back through customs and it's time to board the plane to Germany.

---

---