What Should I Eat First, the Chicken or the Egg?

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For some unknown reason, I find that the idea of eating chicken and eggs at the same meal is barbaric. Separately I enjoy them both very much. Together it feels as if I am wiping out an entire species. Do they taste good together? I can not even contemplate it. The breakfast buffet at the hotel where I live serves both, so it is apparently culturally acceptable. To me it is nothing short of poultricide. (Yes, I made that word up).
There will not be any war crime tribunals at the Hague though, and no chickens carrying their accusatory picket signs through the hotel lobby, shouting for justice.
“We are not just meat! Find something else to eat! Our young are not over easy!” they would shout. Of course they are just that and so much more. No compassion is exhibited to the lowly chicken on Sunday afternoon, when its status is actually elevated to an elegant roasted delight with mashed potatoes, gravy and salad. Those deviled egg appetizers before dinner are one way to consume the entire family. If you have a cake for dessert you have just eaten both chicken and egg in the same meal, you brute.
Will the species die out? I think not, owing to their large population and the profit being made by egg farms and poultry factories. The farmers and factory owners will ensure the continued exploitation of those tasty vittles. The chickens are not without their defenses though. Avian flu transmitted from birds to humans can wipe out a sizable population until a vaccine is developed, and salmonella from eggs cause a lot of distress worldwide. So the chicken wars go on, we eat them they poison us. It is a vicious cycle but I’ll take my chances on the front line. As for the breakfast buffet, I think I will have the eggs over easy first, and then go back with a clean plate for the chicken. That way they will not have touched each other, except in my stomach, which doesn’t count.

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