Fogged Magic

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Cuetzulan is a very small town of steep cobble stone streets surrounded by a beautiful, lush, landscape and much poverty. I am one of the few tourists here (though there are a number of hotels for a place of this size) and definately the only foreigner - stand out of course and feel the hestitancy from the indegenous women around me - not me personally of course but it brings up those feelings. It is so quiet, got my wish for a place without cars - barely any and people walk in the centre of the streets and move when a car comes and cars make way for people. There is a central square with a small market on Thursdays of veggies, flowers, stuff, and meat including a pigs head on display. It is the only place where I have seen men still in traditional dress with white shirts and great pants and sandals, In the outskirts you see women walking barefoot. There seems to be much illiteracy among the older generation (which I noticed with several older men getting on the bus to here in Puebla) but most of the younger kids seem to be in one of several schools.

My first night the mist became dense for a while, so thick that is rolled in though the open window of the restaurant where I was the only person eating dinner. The air was magical then became sad and it rained a bit making the stones slippery. Nights are quiet with a few walking around.

Changed hotels the next day, as they were renovating my hotel and the smell of paint was too much. The new place is much nicer (a bit more) and I even have a TV. Felt very alone today, think the mist and the quiet brought it out. Woke up in the morning feeling so very alone - wanting to go home but knowing that I dont have one - and really never have - have had places that I lived, but never a home - only place that felt like on to any extent was the hostel in Victoria and that is by its definition not a home. Wanting to belong, but never doing so - sick of moving, but only then does it become less painful - see myself as an explorer, an adventurer, a discoverer - play the role, but barely. The ¨feeling lingered for most of the day.

Rode in the back of a camionetta (the trucks) for the first time to some ruins in Yohualichan over beautiful winding lush mountain road - the last 2km down a cobble stone road. Thankfully it was not crowded - men loaded crates of tomatoes and mangoes - and at the last minute the 3 other tourists (Mexican) I noted in town got on as well. On the way out you passs simple homes, many of board planks and tin roofs (not in great shape), people walking, chicken and dogs of course. The ruins are in a very small village but were only "done" in the 1970s - you ask why only then as people knew of them. The pyramids are "niched" and were different from those I had seen elsewhere, but you could not climb them.

Later the day I had lunch by the square - again the only customer until a couple walked in - maybe it is my citygirl attitude but I felt squemish of the hygeine of the street food as the people are so poor and most things are so basic. Like at breakfast (in nicer hotel which was busy with people from a mexican tv crew who film a series here) there was a stream of old women (with one or two rotting teeth and worn clothes, and plastic shoes) selling stuff - napkin holders, ugly embroidered towels, key chains with weaved circles (i bought a few) and necklaces out of beans and wooden beads - you feel bad cause they are so poor but you cant buy from all - and they are persistent. Bought a vanilla bean out by the ruins too.

In the afternoon I thought about going to some waterfalls but were a ways out and needed to hike in and had just missed a truck so I walked around the twisting streets of town and a bit out of town down a cobblestone and a dirt road (it is beautiful) and took a nap instead. Thankfully I had eaten a not so great lunch, cause most restaurants were closed in the evening. The waiter from the place where I had breakfast approached me and feeling lonely went for a beer with him - he was only 20 and trying to pick me up - had the dictionary conversations - glad I did cause went to this one bar on the square (the type of place which I would not enter alone) where they also had all the local hooch - homemade fruit inbibed wine or fire water and I tried a very small amount which left me feeling quite wierd (and not so hot the next morning) and went back to the hotel alone early. But I was glad to have tried it.

While Cuetzulan was beautiful it is the type of place I would have liked to have visited with someone or at least during a busier time. There is a beauty but a sadness, and the sadness hit me, so I left after 2 nights and retreated to Jalapa.

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