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There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.
-- excerpt from
The Men That Don't Fit In
(Robert Service - Yukon Poet: 1874-1958) Vancouver Island, British Columbia :
Rolling off the couch with having only two hours sleep, I wonder whhhhhy on Earth is the phone so close to my ear?
"Hey Joe! It's your Uncle... Did you know the Police are calling around looking for you this morning? Yeah. Hey welcome home."
"Joseph, this is constable Fitzpatrick at the RCMP detachment - could you come down to the station so that I can ask you a few questions please?"
"Sure, I'll be right there"
That'll wake ya up in the morning.
"I'd just like to inform you that this conversation is being recorded and could be used against you in court at a future date. You have come here voluntarily and can walk out at any time. You don't have to say anything to me and you have the right to a laywer before saying anything... Can you tell me why it is that you are here?"
"Yes of course... I left a note threatening to kill a man I have never met before on his doorstep last night."
"Can you tell me why you did that, and what the note said?"
"Sure. It said, 'Leave my friend alone or I will kill you. My name is Joseph Sieben and my telephone number is xxx-xxxx' ... And I would just like to point out that I wrote it fully intending to be called in here this morning.
What kind of an idiot writes a note threatening someone's life and then leaves his name and telephone number on it at the same time?? ... I wrote it hoping that he would go to the police with it."
At this point she looks a little confused, mixed with trying to hide amusement at the idiocy of what I had wrote - I didn't blame her, "Why did you threaten to kill this man and why did you want to be called into the Station??
"Because, you see, my friend has this problem.. A problem she has called the Police about on numerous occasions and each time you folks seem to really have no interest in helping her with it...
There is a man next door to her that is mildly stalking her. She's found him inside her fence and in her yard on numerous occasions.. She has found him on her porch with her keys in his hand after she accidentally left them in her door in a rush to get to work... He is constantly coming by and creepily watching her inside her house from his window... and the other night she came home to find objects moved in her room and a cigarette butt in her ahstray of a brand of cigarette she doesn't smoke...
Now, she has called and filed a report numerous times - she has reported ALL of these unsettling and unsolicited situations with this man and each time you folks tell her that you will get back to her about it and never do.
Have you even been over to talk to this man yet??..
It seems to me like the situation must first be escalated before anything actually gets looked at here... She feels uncomfortable in her own home and helpless and that there is nothing she is able to do about the situation because she feels like the Police refuse to take her situation seriously.
Now, if charging me for threatening to kill this man is what needs to happen for this situation to be looked at seriously, then that's what will have to happen... I would hate for the situation to finally be looked at seriously after my friend ends up raped... I would hate to see that the requirement needed to finally make this an important problem in your eyes."
She ended the interview pretty quick and explained that they've lost her file and that she has looked and can't find it anywhere, and that this man may or may not charge me and that she is going to find the file and deal with things immediately and for some reason there has been some mix up about how the file is non-existant, etc.. But whatever the reason, it was unacceptable and bad police work as far as I am concerned.
Sooo... I make my way over to my friend's house and notice this really ugly looking guy with no shirt on standing on the porch of the stalker's house... This guy is the posterboy for ex-convict creepy crackheads and is complete with full torso tattoo and missing front teeth.. Add the massive German Sheppard into the equation and I am suddenly sure my morning just got waaay more interesting. Hahaha.. I was right...
As I am walking into her yard one of my very best buddies (Aubrey) yells, "Hey Joe - Can you grab my shoes from your car? I left them in there last night." ... My first thought is, Aubrey is surely trying to get me killed ... hahaha... In reality Aubrey had no idea he was out there, I had never mentioned it - he's not to blame for what happened next..
I find his shoes and lift my head out of the car just in time to see CrackerJack running full bore up the alley.. hahaha.. I am not sure I have ever seen someone with such a raging look on their face...
CrackerJacker stops inches from my face and starts yelling at the top of his lungs... All I really heard was "Blatherblatherblather... IS YOUR NAME JOE?!!!... blatherblather.." - Mostly thinking, am I really going to have to hit CrackerJack... I don't want to hit anybody. And if I do and scrape up my hands, will he infect me with something? ... Good question.
Yeah my name is Joe and yeah I was outside your door last night ... Now why would he suddenly back away in all his rage and start calling for his dog? He's looking around frantically for his dog and calling him. BAM... Here comes the big German Sheppard barrelling around the corner... Wooonderful..
The dog was fantastic and really friendly and just sat on down beside him. He wanted him there in case I did indeed hit him, and then his dog would have surely attacked the attacker. But I wasn't going to hit anybody and despite him being inches from my face yelling and screaming and shaking in anger - you could see he was really a coward. Cowards always have cowardly eyes.
"You stay the fuck off my property and don't you EVER threaten me.. OR...
"Alright." ... hahah.. No one ever expects such a simple and non-shalant answer...
"Why don't you charge me?"
Suddenly CrackerJack is very confused and I watch as his slow brain starts to wonder why I would say such a thing.. Surely I must be trying to trick him.
"Why?"
"Because I just spent the past hour down at the station with the Police talking all about you.."
He is suddenly like a kid trying to figure out if he is in trouble.. well.. a really ugly kid with a million tattoos and missing front teeth. "Why?! Because of my criminal record?!
"Yes.. Because of your criminal record." - CrackerJack is a complete idiot.
Sooo... Long story short.. Landlord comes and breaks it up and he starts yelling "If my dog ends up dead!... IF MY DOG ENDS UP DEAD..."... hahah... What?
My new friend Miss Constable Fitzpatrick shows up and I explain the situation to her...
She goes in and talks with him and comes back out and lets me know that CrackerJack has agreed not to press charges and stay off of my friend's property so long as I stay off his property and don't try to kill his dog.
Uhhh.. Yeah sure.
She also explained that there was a huge case of
Hidden Places
While Kayaking around my favorite Island. This spot is one of my favorite places on Earth. A two hour paddle from the east coast of Quadra Island and around a corner in this bay is a place I have been... [more]
I have now just arrived in Yukon Territory (Canada's Northernmost Province) and have only one photo and no interesting stories at all..
So I've posted these photos from my time on the island (sorry I didn't have the quick thinking to take a photo of CrackerJack) and only this funny account of one morning while back in my hometown...
Instead of making any stops along the way I took one long bus for 39.25 hours and find myself at last in the beautiful and remote Yukon. It is cold up here already and I find myself in a sweater - I love it.
Joseph N Sieben
PS: for those people I had made plans to spend time with and hadn't the oppertunity to do so (mainly my good friend Jeremy; some of my family I havn't seen in years; Tyler; and you miss Marina, whom I would like to point out I did indeed call back and invite over - even if I did 'accidentally' hang up on you; ahem ;-P), I am truly sorry it never happened and hope to see you all in a few months when I am again back that way.
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August 9th 2006 - los dos portenos:
Just as a tip, if you soke your hands in pickle juice the skin will get tougher and will split less easily. Thus preventing possible infection before it starts. A good well built moat with alligators can also be an effective deterant. Some people say crocodiles but I am a firm believer in Alligators as they are less likely to turn on you.
August 10th 2006 - Christina: Your Dead
im not even lieing joe i thought you got rid of that pic......thats it no xmas present for you this year.........i will never forgive you.
August 25th 2006 - Marina:
Just to set the story straight...you stood me up (and ate the bubble gum :) That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Marina Marina Marina ... Ya know... For a psych nurse you sure do have a serious Projection thing going on.. That's okay, I still love ya.
I technically didn't stand you up.. I do belieeeeve that I was far too intoxicated by that time to drive anywhere and I do belieeeeve that you gave me the whole, "Meh.. yeah, well.. hmm.. we're going to hang out here at the bar for awhile then and we'll give ya a call when we leave" --- mmmHM... Which never happened and I was left to sit outside waiting up until the wee morning hours telling myself, "Oh she's just busy - she'll call soon." - sitting up long after everyone left the house or had crashed asleep... It's okay. I forgive you.
As for the bubblegum on the sidewalk... Alright, I'll admit that it was me that ate it (after all, I was like what - 6 years old?) so long as you are willing to admit it was you who was the 'doctor' and me who was the patient and not the other way around... my poor poor mom... "Marina! What are you doing with my son! Stop it!" ... I am traumatized to this day.
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We discovered the Island now has it's very own Punjabi radio station and spent the trip back from the lake rocking out to Punjabi Profile!
It was fantastic.
4 Comments - Add Public Comment or Send Private Message
August 9th 2006 - los dos portenos:
Just as a tip, if you soke your hands in pickle juice the skin will get tougher and will split less easily. Thus preventing possible infection before it starts. A good well built moat with alligators can also be an effective deterant. Some people say crocodiles but I am a firm believer in Alligators as they are less likely to turn on you.
August 10th 2006 - Christina: Your Dead
im not even lieing joe i thought you got rid of that pic......thats it no xmas present for you this year.........i will never forgive you.
August 25th 2006 - Marina:
Just to set the story straight...you stood me up (and ate the bubble gum :) That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
Marina Marina Marina ... Ya know... For a psych nurse you sure do have a serious Projection thing going on.. That's okay, I still love ya.
I technically didn't stand you up.. I do belieeeeve that I was far too intoxicated by that time to drive anywhere and I do belieeeeve that you gave me the whole, "Meh.. yeah, well.. hmm.. we're going to hang out here at the bar for awhile then and we'll give ya a call when we leave" --- mmmHM... Which never happened and I was left to sit outside waiting up until the wee morning hours telling myself, "Oh she's just busy - she'll call soon." - sitting up long after everyone left the house or had crashed asleep... It's okay. I forgive you.
As for the bubblegum on the sidewalk... Alright, I'll admit that it was me that ate it (after all, I was like what - 6 years old?) so long as you are willing to admit it was you who was the 'doctor' and me who was the patient and not the other way around... my poor poor mom... "Marina! What are you doing with my son! Stop it!" ... I am traumatized to this day.
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