Spring Training Part II

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For those of you too lazy to read shit in the heading, I've put almost all my entries private (due to various reasons)...just email or subscribe and ill get you on the list of people who can check out all my shitty writing.

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In this edition of Spring Training, I will formally introduce the pitchers (pitchers and catchers reported for spring training in the MLB last week, so this seems like the perfect time). Note, none of these are starting pitchers, they all happen to fall under four categories: prospects, failed prospects, retirees and notable pitchers who've helped me in the last summer season.

Without further ado, the first part of my detailed review (Failed Prospects and Retirees)

Failed Prospects

Alisa Y.-Ace Pitcher/DH (Summer League)
The Sly Veteran


The most highly touted prospect of the 2007 summer, things never panned out. She sent an array of mixed pitches which kept me constantly off guard and swinging at dead air. I met her at my company as she was another intern (1 year older than my young self). We quickly hit things off after I fixed a major issue with her keyboard..and then she became one of my closest friends at the company. In fact, she was probably the closest female friend I had in Japan.

However, I fucked things up big time when I tried to move her to the bigs. Or rather, I fucked things up by not trying to move her to the bigs. I wasn't aggressive at all, because, and I must confess, I think I was actually in love for a bit. I actually didn't realize this until after the summer, when I actually had time to reflect, as opposed to my day to day crazy lifestyle in Japan. Another deterrent was that many reliable sources told me she had a boyfriend and that is one thing I don't (actively) mess with (turns out these reliable sources were not reliable at all...).

Now she has a real boyfriend...so I foresee absolutely nothing happening in the near future save God actually listening to my pitiful praying. However, she is a cool friend (as I said before, the coolest female I have met in Japan so far) so hopefully she'll be a pinch hitter in key situations and a prospect pipeline for this prospect starved team. Which leads me to...

Yuriko H - Pitcher/Shortstop (Winter League)
Shortstop
(Nickname borrowed from Ted-basically we taught her the slang word "shorty", she liked it, and in NYC she was catcalled with the phrase)

Coming back from Japan, I was looking at a desolate winter. I had spent a week in NYC after returning from japan, kicking myself for not pursuing the sly veteran (coincidentally, my blog entries that week took a slightly emo turn) and I was kind of in a funk. And then who else but the sly veteran herself who throws me a Trans-Pacific curveball via email:

"Hey, one of my girlfriends is studying at your university as an exchange student. Can you meet her and maybe help her out?"

If the Sly Veteran were male, it would be easy to see that this is a blatant attempt at a hookup. However, this isn't you run of the mill pitcher throwing this pitch...this is an ace. Was she testing me? Or was she actually trying to hook me up? Or was she making me meet her friends to better gauge me? Or am I just mildly retarded and its just a normal email?

We ended up meeting and she turned out to be pretty cool. However, she quickly went from prospect to no name when my starting pitcher slot was taken up by my girlfriend. We became somewhat tight as she virtually had no friends in Montreal, she had relationship issues and I'm a good listener (only with women). She actually visited my house in NYC, but purely as a friend (or so I justified). My father saw through it though and gave some blunt analysis despite protests that we were just friends:

"You're just trying to get laid. She's not your average Japanese which is cool...but your exgirlfriends were hotter. You're slipping. Oh, she also saw my cock the other day, I think she approved of its girth."

So yea, I guess we're just close friends...close enough that she's seen my dad's cock. Hopefully she joins my potent lineup right behind the sly veteran to produce an unstoppable Japanese 1-2 punch in the heart of the order.

Kim - Pitcher/Deactivated from Roster (Summer+Winter League)
KimVP

Half white, half asian, full dutch (long story) I met her at a baseball game in Japan through Teddy (they went to the same high school). She scared the hell out of me by knowing a lot about my life...then it turned out she saw my blog through Teddy. We talked a bit, I didn't really consider her as a prospect or anything, and then we said goodbye. Turns out she studies at Concordia University, just down the road from my school, and we partied a few more times. I became enamored with her a bit when I realized she was fun to be around, and after breaking up with my gf, even more so. I actually thought at one time that she was going to be my primary signing for a long term contract...but then Teddy told me her (ongoing) history with him...and I quickly lost interest and joined his lineup on games he had with her.

I feel like its way too much baggage with her...and perhaps if she matures a bit, I might go for the LTR (long term relationship) but in most cases, probably not. I really can't put her in my lineup because of her total inexperience and her defense isn't good either so I doubt pitchers will recruit her. Maybe in a few years she'll make a comeback.

Retirees

Madeline M-Spot Reliever/Closer/Third Base Coach (American League)
Maddy the Daddy

On and off for the last two years (hence spot reliever), because I'm rarely in New York. She's from my old neighborhood in NYC and we first met in elementrary school, forgot about each other and then met randomly in high school (we went to different high schools). We went out briefly in high school, then had an open relationship last year and now she gives me blunt advice on sex (hence, third base coach).

She is decent looking (but smoking hot in pictures...see reference) and throws only high heat (hence, closer). She was a crazy nympho and the only thing that didn't click was that she hated commitment on every single level. Because of this one flaw, we broke up and we will never get together again. Kind of sad, but of course, we are amazing friends. It's kind of a given she's in my lineup, but funny thing is, I'm in hers as well. She plays virtually no defense as she loves challenging hitters-its either a homerun or a strikeout, in Maddy's league, nothing in between.

M.I.A-Rookie Pitcher (summer league)
Tee-Ball (How easy is it to hit a ball off a tee?)

I really can't comprehend how this happened, and I'm both ashamed and amazed. Here is the story:

My co-workers in my dept had heard all my crazy stories, and they knew they were true, but since work is dull, they voiced doubt. They obviously were just fucking with me but I stupidly defended myself, and they told me to prove it. I walked straight into their trap as they told me to get a girl in the company and I quickly agreed.

That night, I went to a nomikai (drinking party) with the rest of the interns. This mission I had was weighing heavily on my mind, and I thought why not get some liquid courage. After pounding many a beer and face glowing like the japanese flag, I turned to the girl on my left. "You wanna talk outside for a bit?" She hesitantly replied, "Yes". She went up first, I pounded two more shots and then followed. We awkwardly stood in some middle of a nowhere suburban Tokyo road.

Through the haze of alcohol, I tried to formulate a plan...and this is the garbage that came out of my mouth:

Me: "I think I love you."
Her: "Wait, what?"
Me: "I think I love you. The way you touch your hair, the way you fidget. I love you."

Her: "Oh, wow."
Me: "Well, I've poured out my soul, can you at least give me a response."

Her: "Well, I think I love you too."

By now you're probably cringing from this dialogue. Anyway, we then did what we did (in the middle of the street!), and then we both returned back to the party. However, we forgot to stagger our return...and basically everyone looked at us suspiciously..and knowingly. Next day, I got mad respect from my co-workers. We ended up going on a date the following week, and then afterwards, I realized the mess I got myself into and cut all ties. Basically, this was like GTA when you kill someone, your respect meter goes up.

Do I feel guilty of using her as a stat booster? Yes, and I've made a vow to never do it anymore (I also made a vow to stop masturbating when I was 16). Do I feel guility for her feelings? Yes. Do I feel guilty about my techniques? No. A girl who will fall for that line from a drunken guy deserves just about anything.

I regret it mostly because I used the phrase "I love you". I've only said it once before, and I honestly meant it. In the future, I will only say it when I mean it as well...its too powerful a phrase to use so lightly

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So there are my retirees and failed prospects...tune in next time as we go over the other facets of the 2007/2008 season.

Until then...

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Photos

Kissed
Its called a grilled cheese sandwich..white, yellow, white

The Sly Veteran
From right to left: yours truly, the sly veteran, and one of my work friends

Shortstop
One of the first times I met her...

Father+Shorty
My father...and the shortstop...in the bathroom...

KimVP
Avg age @ time of photo: 18...we're young, bitches!

Maddy
Hot.

MIA
Respect+1

Nomikai
The party where the story went down.
We're second and third from the right, sitting