So I'm back, and I've gotten lots of lovely emails from people expressing their happiness at having me home. I am sorry I haven't replied to you individually, I am just in this weird limbo space where in some ways it feels as if I've never left, and in other ways it feels like I haven't even left Namibia. Needless to say I wake up many times during the night thinking I'm in Ongwediva and then I realize I'm not. I thought that two months wasn't long enough to find a home. I was wrong.
I knew that no matter what happened in Namibia it would change my life. I didn't expect my life here at home to do a complete 180. Everything here has changed. A blog is not the right place to talk about this. I have not come home to the same place I left. Everything is different, and its not just because I'm different-- its because people here are different. Things and people I thought I could always count on have bent into new, unfamiliar, untrustworthy shapes. The round pegs do not fit into the round holes anymore.
Africa stole my tongue and I wrote only one poem when I was gone. Despite trying and wanting to write every minute of my existence there. I am looking forward to my creative writing class this year. I think it will be the best therapy I could ask for, because its going to force me to write down the images and emotions that have been tumbling around in my mind since the moment my plane left Toronto.
I know I'm in Canada now and I should technically stop writing in this travel blog, but its been the only place I could vent for the last two months and so I will be sad to let it go.
The grass is too green here. I miss the sand in my shoes
The sun is not as hot here but the air is too wet on my skin
I have no idea what side is the right side of the road to drive on
I miss greeting people with wa lala po in the morning
I miss calling people meme and tate
I miss speaking Oshiwambo
I miss listening to Gazza at top volume while singing "apapanapapa-eh" in Mike's taxi
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Send Private MessageWelcome home Leah.
The home coming dynamic you are experiencing is very familiar. The culture shock is often greater coming back than the one in going to a new coun try. The questions and experiences hang on but very few people can understand them as they have not had that experience. Otheres have a sense of intrigue in what really happened and regret that they did not decide to or have the opportunity to do the same. Most of us do not even know what questions to ask. Nor do we know how to give a person the time to talk and talk and talk and really thrill in their experience.
Welcome home. I look forward to talking with you.
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