maintaining positive energy

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Saturday night we all headed to a restaurant overlooking the water on Granville Island called Sandbar. There was quite a group of us—A. and L., L’s brother-in-law and his partner, a few of A’s friends. But I didn’t feel at all like the odd person out—they were all incredibly friendly and fun to be around. I only ordered a few tapas, but the food was delicious. We ended up inching our way onto a table in the upstairs bar occupied by three guys because the wait for a table on the patio was a good two hours. One of the guys had a coffee shop and was French Canadian. The second was Dutch and worked on a cruise ship. The third one was from Ft. Lauderdale and did IT work for the same cruise company. They were middle-aged and not all that interesting to talk to, but they were fascinated by all of us lovely ladies and willingly let us share their table. And of course when they found out what I do for a living, the conversation settled on risky sex and condoms.

After getting liquored up (everyone except me), we all went back downstairs to dance in this incredibly cramped dance area to cheesy 80s and early 90s dance music. It was like being at a bad wedding, but somehow the cheesiness made it fun.

Sunday it was just A and I again since L went back to her rural town up north. She took me on a little driving tour of the city in her ’86 Tercel, and then we went to the Museum of Anthropology on the University of British Columbia campus (which is quite a scenic university). The museum had some interesting exhibits about wood art (mostly totem poles) made by the Natives. There was also an amazing photography exhibit about traditional tattooing rituals in Samoa.

After the museum, we headed to the Commercial Drive area, which is where the more Bohemian crowds hang out. It had a fun vibe and was reminiscent of South Street in Philly with its unique boutiques, used book and record stores, and the smell of pot lingering in the air. There were street performers and DJs spinning beats right in the middle of the road (it was a “car-free” day), a guy with dreads dancing to reggae like no one was watching, and adults (without children) chasing bubbles. We also each got a gelato the size of our heads (and both finished them in their entirety), and had a Dutch woman running a funky salon and body piercing place give me advice on a better nose ring.

We also stopped in some female-friendly sex shops so I could catch up on the latest in gadgets, condoms, and lubes (for research purposes, of course). I marveled at how nice the stores were with their emphasis on female-friendly porn and taking care of one’s sexual health—stores we seem to be missing in the U.S. They both had things such as copies of Our Bodies Ourselves and The Art of Self-Loving, as well as displays of various types of male and female condoms. We stopped into a place called The Art of Loving and another called Womyn’s Ware (which supposedly has the largest selection of women’s sex toys in North America), and I couldn’t help but chat with the staff about vibrators and feminist porn. I’ve got to keep up to date on these things if I’m designing sexual health interventions, right?

Yesterday was all about pampering, which was great to get me into the proper mindset before heading back to work. We started the day off with a shiatsu massage, which was my first experience with the Japanese form. We went to a place run by Vancouver College where shiatsu students will perform a massage for just $40 so that they can rack up their required hours of experience. We were asked to lie down on a thin mat on the floor in our clothes and socks. My masseuse adjusted me into a proper alignment and then began to gently press the various pressure points along my back. It didn’t feel as vigorous as the massages I am generally used to, but between hearing her steady breathing, the light “spa music” they had playing in the background, and the heat from the constant pressure on my muscles, I fell into a very relaxed state—so much so that I actually started drooling on the pillow (embarrassing)! It lasted for about 75 minutes total, but the time flew by so quickly. Even afterwards as I was in the bathroom, I felt myself being completely zoned out. It was wonderful!

We then went back to the pier area on Granville Island to grab lunch at the little market there. We sat at a snack bar overlooking the water and the tourists, enjoying our pasta salad and roasted yams. We did a little shopping, then headed to a yoga class nearby. The studio looked out over the city and the water from this large, open room with high ceilings. The class was packed—easily about 30 people of all shapes, sizes, ages, and gender. The instructor was a male (the first time I have ever in my wide range of yoga experiences encountered a male instructor), who was a lot of fun. Although the class was long and this was the first time I had done yoga in several weeks, it was nice. Not overly strenuous, but the deep stretch I needed. And so far today I can still move my legs!

Dinner was at an African restaurant called Nyala that is owned by an Ethiopian man who told me how there is good clay in North Carolina from which he makes his cooking pots. We were the only ones in the restaurant, but the food was delicious! We had chicken in a sort of Moroccan stew, butter chicken, lentil salad, a mango shake, and of course the injera bread. My stomach was not so appreciative this morning, but it was well worth it.

Spending time with A. was wonderful. She is one of the most giving and positive people I have met in a long time. It is amazing to me that this woman I met through my blog that I just spent a few days with in Kathmandu opened her home up to me for 5 days. Not to mention the fact that she took time off of work to show me around. We have a lot in common, from our love for travel and all things international, to our fashion style and desire to leave a small footprint on the world with our materials and a large footprint through our desire to help others. So we had lots to talk about the entire time.

But her positive energy and the way she finds the beauty in everything from a sunny day to the beautiful color of a handbag to a “rockstar” parking space was a good influence on me. With all of the negativity that has been in my life recently, particularly in my work situation, I have found myself leaning towards a more negative outlook—one that leaves me feeling depressed and bored and miserable most days. It was nice to be reminded of all of the good things there are in life, and what makes my life so fabulous, despite difficult times. Now if I can only maintain that positivity as I go back to work, and sustain it through my job search process in the fall, things will be good.

It is nice to have a friend that brings out the best in you, and a life partner, as well. A and I spent a lot of time talking about what makes our current relationships successful (romantic, familial, and friendships), and what we learned from our previous ones that were not ideal. Too often we waste so much of our time maintaining relationships with people that really do not add anything positive to our lives—that are more trouble than they are worth—just for the sake of that’s the way it’s always been or because it’s too painful to try to heal them or move on. But when you meet someone that gives back just as much if not more than what you put in, it is refreshing.

Since we met through my blog, I know she is reading this. So thanks, A, for putting me in a more positive state of mind through taking the time to show me such a beautiful city.

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