First Impressions

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So this is a long one, bear with me. I started my journey from KCIMO airport and flew to Toronto. While I was on the plane I was told that my luggage may or may not transfer to my next flight so I should check for them. When I landed in Toronto I realized that I had to not only change terminals, but that my phone did not keep up with the time change. So there I was, confused and lost in a different continent and by the time I found out we were an hour ahead and finally found my right terminal I had missed my flight. All flights heading to London that night were booked and the next flight they could get me on was a whole 24hrs later.

This is where I had my first breakdown. Bawling and terrified I called my mom because how is any 20 year old who had never left the country supposed to react to that? I was basically forced into staying at the alt hotel in Toronto. It was nice, but I was so stressed out I couldn't even sleep. So the next day I was able to board my new flight to Heathrow London airport. As I watched the hours tick by I then realized that there was no way I was making my next flight out to Istanbul. By the time I finally got off that plane (around 10am) the flight I was booked for was closing its gates in 10min.

I was then rebooked (again) on another flight for Istanbul that was to leave at 2pm. So here's where I derail a bit. I officially loathe Heathrow airport. Your flight gate is never given to you. You simply have to watch the information listings which tell you what gate your flight leaves from about 15 min before they close the gates. So when my flight popped up I rushed over to the gate to realize that I didn't have a ticket. I wasn't booked. So I had to run back to the desk and get on the next flight out which was listed at 4pm.

Here is where I had the worst, most body wracking panic attack I have ever had. After not eating and not sleeping for two days my body simply shut down. I was extremely nauseous, couldn't force myself to eat and was at the end of my rope. I wanted to just go home. Talking with my mom and dad they convinced me to get on the plane and make my journey.

I arrived in Istanbul at around 11:30 at night. With absolutely no idea where I was and how to get to where I needed to go I found a shuttle service office and asked for help (whilst crying I might add). They got me a ride for $85, which basically means I was robbed right in front of my nose. I finally got to the dorms at 1:30am for the reason my driver had no idea where he was going.

Yesterday I had orientation and found that where my living quarters are and where the university and classrooms are located, it's about a 20min walk one way through hills and market streets where nobody speaks English. The university itself is beautiful and people are friendly enough. It's just s nerve wracking walk just to get to a class that nobody I've met yet goes to.

To catch up where I am now I am still entirely homesick and unhappy which sucks. This was supposed to be a trip of a lifetime to meet new people and experience a new place. But even after two meals paid by a colleague (because I have yet been able to transfer my money) and a full nights sleep, I can honestly say that I still don't want to be here. And I can't stand that I feel this way. I'm still scared and stressed and every time I hear a plane overhead I wish I was on it going home.

I'm doing my best to be strong through this and I have never given up before in my entire life. But I have never been this scared, homesick, and unhappy. I've been told to give it time and that this will get better. I just hope that it does and that I didn't just throw my time and money away on a trip that I never want to look back on.

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Comments

[Nicole Lucke]

Hang in There!!
Hang in there girl! Sounds like a very sucky travel experience....but stick it out, you have a summer of memories to make! Hopefully this time next week you will have created a whole new group of lifetime friends and have things figured out! It's all something new for a small town girl! You can do this! Love you and so very proud of you for taking this chance at an awesome adventure in life!

[Jessica Roby]

love you
Things have a way of working out and it's ok that you are scared. You're in a while different country with nobody you know. But like others have said, give it time. I love you very much sister dear and I'm so proud of you for taking this opportunity. I know in a few weeks you'll be less stressed and making friends and learning so much. Know you ate missed and loved tremendously! Leave your fears in God's hands and you will be fine!