Published: September 14th 2008September 14th 2008
When looking for inspiration many turn to their Bible. When I need inspiration I turn to Audre Lorde. Audre Lorde has been known to self-describe as a “Black, Lesbian, Mother, Feminist, Worrier Poet.”
To those who know me, I often quote Audre Lorde. This log of recent events will prove much the same.
We went out to seek internet for those who need to be plugged in. When I passed my computer to my roommate, I picked up Audre Lorde’s “Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches” I immediately turned to Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power.
Granted, yes, I re-read it for the fifteenth or so time, I picked up something new, again. Audre Lorde begins this particular essay with a bold assertion.
“THERE ARE MANY KINDS OF POWER, used and unused, acknowledged or
otherwise. The erotic is a resource within each of us that lies in a deeply female and
spiritual plane, firmly rooted in the power of our unexpressed or unrecognized feeling.”
This power can be found in everyone, not just women. She continues with a more concrete definition of the erotic…
“When I speak of the erotic, then, I speak of it as an assertion of the life force of women; of that creative energy empowered, the knowledge and use of which we are now reclaiming in our language, our history, our dancing, our work, our lives”
This energy she speaks of is something I deeply identify with, especially when she writes,
“Within the celebration of the erotic in all our endeavors, my work becomes a conscious decision - a longed-for bed which I enter gratefully and from which I rise up empowered.”
If I apply these sets of values to OTZMA, then I will show that my bed is volunteering. When I rise up, I am in Israel, ready to dedicate myself to the improvement of the Jewish community in Upper Nazareth.
Today was our first day of Ulpan….Whoa!
I think I wanted to cry. At first it seemed four months of tutoring was completely rendered useless . Again I think I wanted to cry. I felt like I was back in high school, again, taking Spanish. And if you that story, it ends with me failing it a couple of times. I got a “C” once, but that was due to the teacher assistant fudging a few grades.
But then it began to come back. Aha! (but more with a “ch” sound).
With some calming down advice over skype from Karrot my lover, I will be able to walk into Ulpan tomorrow with my head up.
Worse comes to worse, I ask for more individual lessons and work independent of the group.
Until then, I am off to watch American-stand up comedy, it sooths the soul.
All questions are welcome.