Watch out for the wee water monster!

The Scottish highlands are dead sexy, and at the heart of all this wild and sexy stuff is a 1,500 year old mystery featuring a legendary monster who lurks within the depths of Loch Ness. We were at the end of day one on an awesome Scottish highlands tour, and our group was looking forward to a boat trip on the most famous loch in the world when we were told that our skipper had mysteriously vanished. Had this ever happened before, we asked our guide, and the answer was no. The following words may be of international significance, but the only plausible explanation is the skipper was taken by Nessie, which provides incontrovertible proof of the existence of the wee water monster!

But let's back up for a moment, in order to bring the journal up to date. I flew from Belfast on an effortless easyJet flight to Edinburgh, and stumbled straight into the middle of the world famous Edinburgh festival. Just as I experienced in Munich a few years ago my trip coincided with a world famous festival although I didn't realise it at the time I booked my trip. The combination of the Edinburgh Tatoo, the festival and the accompanying fringe all mean that Edinburgh doubles her population during the month of August. Fortunately I had booked a hostel for the duration of my stay a week earlier owing to general peak season madness, and was fortunate to be firmly ensconced in the middle of the buzzing festival. I'm staying in a terrific hostel that is a converted cathedral in the heart of the new town, with heaps of communal space downstairs and a friendly and relaxed Australian manager. However, finally the fickle UK weather has shown it's true colours with a vengeance. The other day on the radio the weather man said Edinburgh has had a month of rain over the first two days of my visit, but you know what, you've just got to get on with it as best you can.

One night I got a heads up from an Aussie waitress that Paul Kelly was playing at the Spiegel tent at 11:00pm. I fortified myself with a pint of guinness, er ... then perhaps a second one for that wee bit of extra fortification, and then trudged out in the pouring rain to see if I could snaffle a last minute concert ticket for this legendary Australian songwriter. I asked at the box office and they informed me that unfortunately he started his set an hour and a half ago, and further that this was his last night performing at the festival. Never mind, at least I tried and later consoled myself while dripping into my pint at a local bar. I attach a brief excerpt from a wonderful song he wrote called Careless, which tells the story of a man who has gone completely off the rails, only to be rescued by the love of the people closest to him...

"I saw worry in their eyes, it looked like fear to me
I know I've been careless, I've lost my tenderness
I've been careless, I took bad care of it..."

So then, after three nights in Edinburgh during the legendary festival with or without Paul Kelly it's still all good. Bugger the weather, the festival and the city itself rocks! Edinburgh castle lies perched imperiously on a hill top in the very heart of town, and the Royal Mile is a gorgeous street full of magnificent buildings. Plus the city is full of Scots which is the icing on the cake for an awesome combination. However, soon I decided to push on and booked a three day tour to the Scottish highlands and the Isle of Skye with Haggis adventures, and as I arrive back at the Edinburgh hostel for my final night I have the chance to reflect on a wonderful adventure, which took place in one of the most significant historical parts of the English speaking world. If we leave aside for a moment the astonishing scenery that assails the senses at every turn, the tour also provides a unique opportunity to gain an insight into the complex relationship between England and Scotland that stretches back more than 500 years. This highlands tour is highly recommended and very educational.

The highlands as a travel destination is fascinating, and features the warriors who are famed for the legendary highland charge. They preferred to charge downhill and fall upon the unsuspecting red coats fighting to protect the English crown. The beserk terror merchants charged into battle half naked, covered in tatooes and swinging their deadly claymore swords about their heads in a whirling arc, being capable of lopping off several heads per revolution. However due to collateral damage too many of those heads turned out to be fellow clansmen, and this method of attack was eventually discontinued.

We visited magnificent castles on our tour and also enjoyed the breathtaking scenery around Glen Coe for a picnic lunch, and then finally arrived at Nessie's home for a visit and a bit of wee water monster spotting. The next day we headed on to the wild and windswept Isle of Skye, which is home to hairy coos (cows that is), heaps of sheep and unfortunately far too few highlanders. The highland clearances that were enforced by the English after the massacre of the Battle of Culloden in 1746 is an ongoing tragedy for this wonderful country, but does help to explain why so many people in the new world claim Scottish heritage. It's been estimated that over six million people world wide now claim the surnames of MacDonald or MacLeod which is quite extraordinary. They were the biggest clans on the Isle of Skye and very prominent in the highlands generally.

Bitterness towards the English largely remains in the highlands, even though the terrible days where the Gaelic language and the wearing of kilts were banned are long since gone. Scotland is very similar to Ireland and I was fascinated to learn that the first settlers in Scotland sailed across from Ireland, hence the shared language. Another thing both countries have in common is no great love for the English. I went to a highlander bar in Inverness one night to enjoy an evening of traditional Scottish and Irish songs with accompanying dancers and it was a foot stomping, head nodding musical experience to savour. At one stage I was dragged on to the dance floor by a local for some traditional dancing. Towards the end of the first set the singer told the enthusiastic crowd the band would be taking a short break, when someone called out there was no room. What do you mean no room, replied the singer into the mike, there's enough room here to swing an Englishman. I trust you get the picture from this wee snapshot of life in the highlands!

So here I am back in the thick of a major world artistic festival to finish off an amazing week travelling in wonderful Scotland. The country is so rich in history, full of national pride, and features enduring clan loyalties forged over the centuries amongst the fierce highland warriors. I love this wee country that displays such a fierce heart and suggest,............. basically all of you should be here now!

"O flower of Scotland, when will we see your likes again,
who fought and died for your wee bit of hill and glen
and stood against him, proud Edward's army
and sent them homeward to think again." Roy Williamson

Top 3 Hotels/Restaurants
Belford hostel - Edinburgh, Scotland
Morag's lodge - Fort Augustus, Scotland
Highlander hostel - Inverness, Scotland

Top 3 Sights/Activities
The Edinburgh festival - Edinburgh, Scotland
Wee water monster spotting - Loch Ness, Scotland
Haggis adventures three day highlands tour - Leaving from Edinburgh, Scotland

As I continue my travels, until next time it's signing off for now

Tom

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