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Europe » United Kingdom » England
November 1st 2005
Published: November 20th 2005
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Okay so we trekked into Dublin on Thursday with backpacks and checked into our hostile near Trinity. There was this crazy very large Brazilian guy that lived in New York was staying in our room. Ricky. Tricky Ricky. He stood in front of the mirror and like growled and groaned for half an hour. Laura and I were laughing into our pillows...So I was like great start. This guy was nuts. Then, we had a pint. Then, we went to dun dun dun The Guiness Factory a.k.a. the Irish equivalent of that Paw Tucket factory episode of Family Guy. It felt so touristy. Five floors in very dramatic lighting with hardcore music playing. We walked through them, but the main focus was the free pint on the 5th floor. I must admit that it was the best pint of Guiness I had the whole trip. Then, I blew some money and bought everyone Guiness souvenirs. After that, we changed and went to Temple Bar. The music there was really good, but it was sooo damn expensive. It was a one time thing...there are better real pubs in Dublin. So we drank and drank and drank and fought. No we didnt fight, but we did wind up going somewhere with some crazy Irish people. That shit was wack. We wound up at some really modern looking club where they were playing like shitty pop music, but it was worth it because those Irish kids thought we were so cool. Anyway, ditched them and went back to hostile.

Woke up next morning at 7 am with vicious hangovers still in all my clothes, including shoes. So we checked out and hopped on our tour bus. It was us and like 500 Australians. And who else gets on the bus besides the one and only Tricky Ricky? Crazy alert. We all made good friends though by playing this game where you hold a match stick in your mouth and pass a lifesaver to each other. I was sitting in between two fit Australian boys. That was nice. Anyway, the first place we went was this little pub somewhere in nowhere and had another pint. This made the hangover go away (we are signing up for an A.A. meeting soon). Then everyone went to The Rock of Cashel. It was this abbey/castle situated on top of a huge rock...very tall and unforbidding looking. Then we went to Blarney. We were literally the only people there. Our Canadian buddies and ourselves got lost in these dungeons/caves under the castle. Just one guy had a cigarette lighter, and everything else was really really pitch black. So we are crouching down going through tunnels like The Goonies, and his lighter goes out. To get anywhere, I would take a picture of what was in front of us, and then we would navigate based on it. The kissing the Blarney stone was scary as shit! You lie on you back while this old man holds you. Then you scoot backwards and hang off the edge to kiss it. FREAKY. So next we shot over to Killarney. Another hostel, another disastrous shower. So that night we went to a pub and listened to some guy tell stories, and afterwards we went to see this awesome celtic rock band. They were sooo good. The drummer was this old dude, but he was playing with 4 drumsticks in his hands and one in his mouth. That music was orgasmic. After many many pints and music, Laura and I found an underground bar. We must have looked freaky because we sat in the corner with pints and tried to take pictures of people looking stupid.

Next day. We started off by going to Coulmeenole beach. The wind was so strong that when we parked the bus up on the cliff, the wind would blow it backwards. The driver had to keep accelerating then letting it role back. Anyway, we got off in this tempest and started to run around. I had all my weight thrusted against the wind, and it totally held me up. There is a legend that says you lose part of your soul if you swim in the water...I had to do this. So I took off my shoes and ran in. All of a sudden, a huge like tidal wave swelled up, and I ran like hell away from it. The thing is I reallized that my shoes were getting carried away after it crashed. So I darted back into the ocean fully clothes and got them out. I lost part of my soles ha. ha. Got back on the bus freeezing and wet and entirely too happy and excited for the state I was in. The next stop was Slea Head or "the end of the world." There is nothing in between Slea Head and America. I could have swam home....it only takes 10 minutes, right? My shoes were still off, and I was walking through freezing cold mud. Still I was incredibly too stoked to even care. The view from the top was gorgeous! Our guide told us some really cool legends while we got blown off the peak again. Laura slipped and did a split in the mud on the way down. Good stuff. Then we stopped in some fishing village for lunch and to change out of wet rags. there was a dolphin swimming around in the water. I thought they only lived in warm water, so that was strange. Then we took a ferry to Doolin, where we stayed the night. Doolin consists of 2 pubs, 2 B&B's and 1 family run hostel. We went to one of the pubs and heard some awesome folk music. I talked to the bus driver for like 2 hours because he was the most interesting and cute old man ever. It was here that I encountered heaven in the form of Smithwick's props to the bus driver. Smithwick's is the best beer on earth hands down. Absolutely wonderful. Total bliss. Anyway after several pints we went back to the hostel, only something was up. This guy brought this girl back to the guys' room to like have sex with her. So the guys in that room were sitting around ours and making us completely crack up. I want to tell you what a "honkey tonk donky bonk" is, but I dont think I can right now. So one of our Aussies says, "Someone go see what they are doing." I crept into the sex room and heard these noises. Then, one of the guys turns on the light I am standing in the middle of the room staring at these people totally doing it. I ran like hell to get out of there.

The next day. When we got back on the bus, Laura established that she "wasn't going to drink tonight....just have a few pints." Anyway, we went to a fairy ring. It is veryyyyyy bad luck to enter into the middle of their ring, but if you walk around the outside and make a wish, it will come true=) After that we went to an ancient burial ground in the middle of the Burren, which is a region covered in limestone. It looks like the surface of the moon. The burial, Pole na Brone Dolmen, was from like 4,000 b.c. or something insanelylong ago like that. There was a really cool legend behind that one, but that's neither here nor there. After that, we headed through the bogs where they mine peat and turf. That was interesting to learn about. Finally we came to Locke's whiskey distillery. No one was there and the building was reallly really old looking. This woman comes out with her like 5 year old daughter and decides to give us the tour. The place still runs on a water wheel and hasn't been changed for like over 100 years. At the end, we got to try free whiskey. I tried Laura's shot too, and then we went to the whiskey bar and had more. The weather was freezing, but we were a warm and happy bunch of people back on that bus. Finally, we rolled back into Dublin. Laura and I had steak ohhh the best steak mmmmmm. Then she left for England, and I went to a hotel. A realll hotel with a shower in the room, and what? a tv? I cleaned up and felt absolutely gorgeous after the way I had been looking. Then, I headed out to use the internet. On my way there, I was accosted by ghostbusters and scanned for ghosts? It was halloween eve! The ghostbusters and I walked down the street looking at costumes and listening to music. I saw The Dude and Wedding Crashers and smurfs. So then I got to use the internet, but wanted to come back to hear the band that was playing in the bottom of my hotel. I ordered a Bailey's and Brandi and talked to some kids from Wisconsin for a while then went to bed early. The next day, I panicked because the bus to the airport didnt come because there was a marathon...what are the chances? Alas, some nice old man got a taxi for me.

Overall, Ireland was awesome, and I like it a whole lot better than England. The people there are soooo nice, and the landscape in gorgeous. Music rocks, Smithwick's is sexcellent, and green was already my favorite color. All in all, it is a place that I wouldn't mind staying in and know I am going to go back. Soooo yeah. Go there. It's wonderful. I missssssssss everyone! Hope everyone is well and doing okay! For those of you coming here, bring somethin warm.
The End.


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