Back To Blighty

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That's right people. It's sad but it's true that all good things must come to an end. I've had an absolutely brilliant time travelling with my friends in Oz and NZ. Now it's time to head back home, graduate and enjoy the rest of the British summer. This blog will cover my final night in Queenstown and the long (LONG) journey back home.

After the skydive, Will and I celebrated with a KFC (well you've got to haven't you). I then did a wee bit of shopping in town and bought some more trousers seeing as I seem to have ripped every other pair I own. We then got a little merry back at the hostel before the final night out was to begin. It was gonna be messy. Joining us on this epic night were two of the girls that had nicked mine and Bully's bed in the YHA (see previous blog). There names were Cat and Linz and they were both from bonnie Scotland. You couldn't tell it though from their tans. First up we went for a meal at this Italian place that had an unhealthy obsession with cats. There were cat drawings on the walls, cat books, cat statues, cat cuddly toys, etc. Basically they loved cats. This restaurant also boasted the best toilets I have ever been into. Think about that for one second before you read on. That is by no way a trivial statement. Just think how many toilets you've been in in your whole life. To say this was the best must have made it very special, and it was. Above every urinal they had a picture of a different absolutely gorgeous girl who was looking down at you as if to say "Bloody hell, that's huge...". I really enjoyed it. Also the taps they had above each wash basin were coolio. That's a nice bit of detail that only an engineer like myself can appreciate.

Moving on, we found ourselves in various bars that were all selling alcohol at ridiculously low prices. Nice. In one place we stopped at they had candles on the tables. I showed Mike the age old trick of burning soot onto a glass bottle and then smearing a black mark onto an unsuspecting victim. Mike was quick to put this hilarious practical joke into practice and had soon drawn a huge black moustache onto an oblivious Jonny. God he looked so funny. I nearly pissed myself looking at him. The night drew to a close at the World Bar (again) and we stumbled back to our respective hostels.

The next day started bright and early at 8.00am. This was the day that I would have to leave my fellow travellers, except Chris who was coming back with me to Christchurch. First up, I said my emotional goodbyes to Jonny. The J man was up early to go skiing that morning. Let's hope he fared better at it than I did. Next I drove me and Chris over to the YHA and we said auf wiedersehen to Mike and Will. There were a few Cookemeister jibes (especially on Will's part) that I managed to get on tape. I'll show you later Dave. Then it was time to hit the open road. We had to have the car back in Christchurch by 5.30 and it was already gone 10. It was gonna be a mission. The mission was made ever more difficult due to the fact that I'd only had 4 hours of sleep and had been drinking the night before (N.B. I'm not advocating drink driving here people. I only drove cause I was absolutely sure that the alcohol was completely out of my system and because we really really needed to get back. The whole of New Zealand only has about ten other cars on the road at any one time so it was all gravy). As I said the drive back was difficult. Luckily, the ever vigilant Chris was on hand to blast me with cold air from the air conditioning vent whenever I looked tired. Also he was in charge of the music so I had him play lots of pumping, wake up tunes. We stopped for a very quick bite to eat in some town along the way. Speed was of the essence so it was gonna be fast food again. We drove around for a fair bit looking for the famous golden arches of a McDonalds or for the cheery face of the colonel above KFC. "Where is that smug bastard?" Bully was heard to say on many an occasion. It probably took us even longer to find our way out of that town but eventually we did and continued on to Christchurch.

Back in Christchurch we got the car handed back at 5.00 and booked ourselves back into Base. Checking in took a little longer than expected cause as we were walking up the Kiwi Experience bus was just unloading a load of guys that got stuck in a queue before us. Unbelievable Jeff. Anyway we got in eventually. We had our second fast food meal of the day (my third in two days - god I'm like Morgan Spurlock) and then Chris hit the internet while I hit the sack. Had a chat with a German girl staying in our room. She'd just got into New Zealand and was wondering what to do. After my whirlwind tour of the South Island I was able to give her a detailed account of the best and worst things on offer. It was kind of nice to pass on my travelling wisdom before I left, just as some guy had done to me when I first arrived in Sydney. The circle is complete.

The alarm buzzed me awake for the final time at 2.45am. In the words of Jack Bower "This was gonna be the longest day of my life". After getting dressed and showered (not in that order of course) I said my goodbye to a sleepy Chris. He's heading North on his own now. Then he'll be doing a little of the US of A (New York) before coming home in 6 weeks. Have fun Bully. I caught my ride over to the airport and boarded my plane at 6ish. There were a load of cancelled flights because of thick fog in Christchurch. Luckily my flight was not one of them. The flight over to Melbourne was pretty good. Cause I was travelling the same way as the Earth spins it was constant sunrise for the whole trip. The plane had loads of room on it to so I was able to really stretch out.

I arrived in Melbourne at about half 8 their time. It was gonna be a big wait here, as my connecting flight would not be until 3.30pm. I settled down to write a blog which took about 4 hours (I put a lot of effort into my blogs in case you haven't guessed). During the whole blog writing time I was constantly pissed off by some cheeky sod wandering round the airport with a microphone blaring out the price of everything that was on offer in the shops. "Stevin Irwin puzzles. Struth Mate they're down to just $6.50. What about a nice cuddly Koala for the kids?". I gave him one of my looks. With still more time to waste I made sure my ipod was nice and charged up for the big trip back to Britain and got myself a nice Australian t-shirt like I'd been telling myself I would all trip.

The plane ride was reminiscent of the one I'd took when I came over to Sydney. The plane was packed so I was gonna be cramped for the 24 hours it took to get back. Happily the plane was fitted with a state of the art entertainment system that let us watch any movie in their gigantic library of films so I settled down to watch two of the Cookemeister's favourite films - American Pie and Blazing Saddles. Also on the cards was the new Pink Panther film and Basic Instinct 2, which had a lot of sex in it (awesome). Finished the book I was reading as well. I'll make a start on Bully's "I Lucifer" when I get back. After the stop in Singapore, I managed to snatch a little sleep on the plane, so it wasn't long at all before I was coming in to land at Heathrow. The pilot announced that the temperature in London was currently 20C. That's hotter than it's been the entire time I've been away and this was at 5.30 in the morning.

Met my rents again in arrivals. My mum had pushed her way to the front of a crowd of people. It was nice to see them again after so long. We drove back to Scunny stopping off for a coffee or two along the way. My parents, who had got up at half one to drive down to Heathrow were absolutely knackered while I who had traversed the globe was fine. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, I've beaten jet lag once again. Everyone's got something they're good at and this is mine. As the day wore on it just got hotter and hotter. Britain is in the middle of a massive heat wave at the moment. They're predicting the highest temperatures we've ever seen - 37C. It was kind of weird to come of your holidays, that have been cold, back to Britain where it's absolutely scorching. The first thing I did when I got back was crack a beer open and climb into a nice cold bath. After all that travelling that was the most satisfying feeling in the world.

Ok I'll bring this blog to a close. Summing up all of my experiences on this trip is going to be hard but I'll give it a go anyway. In short I've had probably the best time of my life on this trip. When I look back at it now I can't believe some of the things I've done. Going to the Sydney Opera House, visiting Ramsey Street, driving on the Great Ocean Road, walking on a glacier, bungy jumping and skydiving are all things that spring to mind. If you asked me which I preferred out of Australia and New Zealand then I would probably say New Zealand was my favourite. I think I missed out on a lot of the good things to do in Oz (most notably Fraser Island and Whitsunday’s in Queensland). Sydney and Melbourne were still class though. There is loads of stuff to see while you're there. In a way that's the main difference between the two. Australia is a place for SEEING things while New Zealand is a place for DOING things. If you want to do a tour of New Zealand either get yourself on the Kiwi Experience or do what we did and hire out a car. There's loads of places you should visit. Quite literally something for everyone. Also get yourself to Queenstown and try out some of the scary things to do there. Most importantly it doesn't really matter where you go, as long as it's somewhere you've never been before. And that about sums up my travels.

As a final note I'd like to thank Jonny, Chris, Mike and Will. Truly a great bunch of guys. The last six weeks have been absolutely phenomenal and I'd just like to thank you for having me along. I'm sure you guys will have loads more adventures on the rest of your travels. Keep me posted. Can't wait till you all get back and we have a mahusive night out at Pop Tarts. So until then I just like to say to you and anyone else who's enjoyed reading this blog, so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen and goodbye.

Tubs. x

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