Published: February 4th 2009February 3rd 2009
I would be glad to babysit the children tonight.
London Bridges Falling Down
Have you ever gone out drinking and thought, “man this is boring or same ol same old.” Then friend I have the answer for you, I give you legalized gambling on……MONOPOLY!!! In some of the bars in England they have the Monopoly game where you answer trivia questions and then win actual cash. Me and Matt won 10 Euros after spending only 3. If you were able to put together a solid team, you could basically show up at a bar, play, have fun, drink for free and maybe even walk away with a little cash. Had there been no questions on British geography and literature, I may have paid for the entire European trip.
I have noticed that my snot has turned black since I’ve got to London. After much debate, I blame my London Booger on the dirt kicked up into the air in the tube stations. Matt gave them a name, so from now on all London boogers will be known as Toogers or Tube Boogers.
I also decided on this journey that I’m really not a museum guy. Museums unless they have some really significant attraction or
are interactive, don’t really interest me. Most of the time it’s just a collection of junk or crappy 3rd grade diorama’s thrown together under the guise of a, “museum.” Don’t even get me started on Art Museums. I’d rather have a pint and hear a story than stare some furniture taken out of the titanic or in a worst case scenerio, a replica of items taken from the titanic (see the smithsonian for all your, “replica of,” needs).
The Geek, the Jock and A Little Punk Rock
I found it oddly fun and hilarious that the New Years crew this year consisted of a geek (tara), a nerd (danger bob), a jock (Cory) and a punk rock kid (Matt However you spell your fucking last name). In high school this would have never happened. I would have like to have started my new years day eating cereal out of a monkies skull, but I had to settle for finding a cure for the beers, shots and the tall cans we had last night, and the 10,000 aligator beers we had at the Crowbar the night before that. The drinking done in London was starting to catch up with
I Think i'm Being Watched
CCTV is in operation, the government is watching
my bloodstream, balance, and belly. I’ve come to find that it is expensive to be hip, but if you shop smart, you can look smooth and sexy for practically nothing. My serial killer/MI-6 New Years outfit costs less than $100 head to toe. We started New Years night by getting trashed at Nichole’s flat. Corey drank the most and was talking understandable gibberish by the time we left the house. We went to dinner and had a nice Italian meal that was probably over priced. Here was my New Year’s toast:
To a year of memories, both good and bad
For Ducky and family, to police officer dads (for cory and melina)
To meat we don’t eat and whiskey sucked down
To friends who aren’t here and friends lives that are gone
It’s December 31st and one year is past
A toast to July 4th, because England, we kicked your ass
We made our way to the Picadilly area of London and then to the London Eye to watch the fire works. As the streets became fuller and fuller we had chosen an area near the eye to watch the nighttime display, we noticed that the streets had
Danger Bob's Things to Live By
become completely full. The police set up barricades and now were trapped in a sea of drunken bafoonery and near anarchy. I rather enjoyed it. Our only mistake was not bringing enough booze out with us to keep our previously magical buzz going. The new year began with hugs and kisses and a killer firework display that made disneyland’s look stupid. Take that Mickey Mouse, you little bitch. The rest of the night was spent dodging bottles being thrown, pushing our way through mobs and then finally finding our way home and drinking till 5am. It was quite the night, I hope 2009 is as just as productive and fun.
I have fallen in love with public transportation and I am dreading the withdrawls and disdain I will face when I return home and have to rely on a car, car insurance and all that other bullshit that comes along with the lack of solid public transportation. I miss the biking around in chico and I haven’t even gone home yet. A solid solution would be to tax the fuck out of gas and cigarettes and use the money to build proper metro and rail systems that run on
Where's My Dinner
I said have my dinner ready when i come home bitch!
efficient forms of energy. Why wasn’t I chosen to be in Obama’s cabinet? Who knows. One thing I noticed about public transportation is that people are afraid to acknowledge each other. I’m sure along the way each person that I smiled at or gave an unanswered nod too had a bad encounter at one time or another with someone. I could easily understand that many people probably get fucked with or hit on while riding the tube, but it was still sad that all the times I made attempts to sneak a smile out of the corner of someones lips, I never found one.
Tara, Matt, Nichole and I spent the next few days seeing the sights of London. We took in Camden town, went on an unfulfilling search for Carl Marxx's grave (only to find the Rape Park), raided the Woolworth stores during their going out of business sale, Tower of London, London Bridges, Abbey Road, the Sherlock Holmes and the Maritime Museum, the spot where William Wallace was killed and the Prime Meridian line. Each day we started late, but we seemed to still get a lot done. London is a large and menacing city with a
Anti Abby Road
"We aren't walking across Abby road, no fucking way."
lot to offer. I can see why so many friends have travelled here and not wanted to leave. I could probably live here for years and never experience it or get it all done.
My final blog to follow soon.
I renamed one of the tube lines;
The Champagne Line:
Ole Ole Ox and Free
There are more photos below