Learning English...and a little American

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It is admirable how after years of struggle, personal sacrifice and lots of arm chair strategy, the British Empire did succeed in becoming the strongest imperialist nation in the world. And when they did give up their claim over their ‘protectorates’ they left a mark in those countries forever - they left behind a judicial system, great infrastructure, tons of ideas for story -telling in years to come and they left behind - English.

In no other nation, as in India has English succeeded to such an extent. Obviously it has - which is why half of the US is getting ‘Bangalored’ and Nat West goes out of its way to advertise ‘UK call centres’.

But all Indians may well be living in a strange world of naiveté. For do we really know the language? Or do we speak a language that has been infact, masquerading as English?

Louise walks in wearing a new something - jersey, boots, skirt - I forget (with the shopaholic in her, its really tough to keep up). So I say ‘New pinch’. And I have four blank faces staring into me. Okay, so this is where I teach the English (and the Irish and the Scots), English! Fancy, how life always comes full circle.

Anyways, I explain (in detail) what the term means and they cannot understand why anyone would get pinched for wearing something new. Yeah, neither can I, but that’s how it is and has been.

If you think that was it - they do not understand ‘flunk’ and ‘ideate’ either.

But I am sure I am having it tougher. ‘Shrinking violet’ was not so bad. ‘In a bit of a pickle’ - cute. ‘Toys out of pram’ - quite innovative (yeah, I know, they did invent the language)which means 'throw a tantrum'. But ‘Total pants’ (meaning ‘rubbish’), ‘Pull your finger out’ (‘get a move on things'). What an education.

British television is in love with the phrase ‘drama queen’ so I have also found a ‘drama queen’ at work and was promptly complimented on using a ‘top phrase’ (which is also a ‘top’ word - watch Bridget Jones and you’ll know what I mean). To be honest ‘la mierda del torro’ was my top phrase for a while but the Brits are too refined for that kind of language.

So shopping is very bitty (cause you do it in ‘bits’) if I were to tease you I’d be ‘taking the mickey’ out of you.

Its only been 2 months and there is still loads more to learn. So I will now ‘get onto the bandwagon’ and then it’ll be most agreeable!

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