Spain = Rain + Pain

PART 1 - The Recce

I have been lucky enough to have started working with a company based in London that specialises in travel-type programs, with videos shown on British Airways and London Cabs. I thought they were mainly focussed on promoting London, but my first project with them took me all the way to Mallorca, Spain. I had a meeting with them mid week and 3 days later on I was on a plane (unfortunately without Shelley) to Mallorca on a recce to research the Balearic Islands leading hotel chain. Myself, the cameraman Tom and also the director of the company and his partner all travelled there.


We had heard that Mallorca is the place to go to escape the bad weather from the rest of Europe, but it was pouring with rain when we arrived and didn’t let up for 4 days. The video was supposed to sell the sun of Spain, but we were due to shoot in 3 short weeks, so a turnaround in the weather needed to be quick.


Our initial arrival wasn’t great, our flight was delayed over an hour. Edmond, the director, was waiting for us at the arrival gate in Palma. He had earlier booked a rental car. The desk was busy, so he tried to manouvre through the crowd and left his suitcase for a few seconds. Someone then swiped it - complete with his passports, laptop and other things. We didn’t discover this until the next day, he hid his disappoint very well on that first day. It must be a well planned scam by the theives as they purposedly made him leave his suitcase and made a quick getaway.


After the airport, we met the marketing manager of the hotel chain and were quickly driven to their first hotel. For the entire 2 days we were with him, he explained exactly what he wanted from the video. Most of our ideas were shot down, he had a very good idea in his head of what he wanted but was open to suggestions.


The first hotel was a 4*, very nice. We were taken straight to the restaurant where we enjoyed a great 3 course meal (they said before we entered we would be having a quick simple lunch so Tom and I filled up on the entrée not realising a main course was due). The hotel had a huge spa complex, which we were hoping we could use one day.


The rest of the day was spent driving to the otherside of the island to see more hotels and to see the coutryside, very typically Spanish in the rural areas, but very touristy in the main holiday towns. We made it to Alcudia, about a 65km drive from Palma and stayed at a beautiful hotel just out of town. It was a 5* hotel, the room I stayed in was huge and had a fantastic view to the bay all the way across to mountains in the distance. All meals were included, so we enjoyed a 5* buffet each night and a 5* buffet breakfast in the morning. I had to sit back a few times and actually pinch myself to believe I had found this great opportunity - and getting paid for it!


The next day we saw more hotels, this time a drive to a town called Cala Ratjada. One of the hotels featured a spa that overlooked the ocean, it was fantastic. The marketing manager then left us early in the afternoon and it was up to us to visit the other hotels. I had gathered enough information to start working on ideas for a script. Tom had to leave to return to London early Sunday morning, so I was left on my own to do more research. I had no intention of doing too much that day, perhaps take a bus to see the local sights, but I had my laptop with me so decided to start writing scripts. I locked myself away in my room, with the fantastic view by my side and started typing. By the end of the day I had written an entire script and filming itiniery - I really surprised myself I had managed to do it that quickly.
The next day we drove back to Palma (it was the first time I had driven on the wrong side of the road, but I managed OK) to meet with Fernando again and I showed him the script, he was rapt which was a huge relief. We made a few tweaks, but overall everything was ready for us to return in a few weeks to begin filming. We were shown through the jewel in the crown of the hotel chain, a super 5* hotel that sat high on the hill in Palma and overlooked the entire city. They had a royal suite that had 270˙ views, amazing.


Edmond left me to chat with Fernando while he went and sorted out his passport at the embassy. Unfortunately I left my suitcase in his car and he was gone for a few hours instead of half an hour, so there was a mad rush for me to get to the airport. It took me half an hour to get in contact with Edmond because his phone had been stolen. Luckily I got his partners mobile number. Through the weekend we had struggled to understand each other, she was from Chile and had a very strong accent and she couldn’t understand my Australian accent. In the hotel foyer as I spoke with her on the phone, she said they would meet us at a place called Plaza e’spanya. She made me repeat the place over the phone a few times so I could tell the taxi driver the right place. It was almost like Jerry Maguire, but instead of yelling “Show me the money” I was yelling “Plaza E’Spanya!” Quite a few funny looks. Then I felt like I was in the Amazing Race, I tried to tell the taxi driver to go Rapido, Rapido! Eventually I found Edmond on the side of the road with my suitcase - and had 45 minutes until my flight left! Luckily I made it - even had time to have lunch!


My first impressions of Mallorca were mixed, the weather didn’t help. It’s interesting that the hotels occupants were 80% german, 10% English and the rest other nationalities. Our goal is to make a video to sell to the English market. On my return journey I found parts of the island I did like, but others that were far too toruisty for me.



PART 2 - The Shoot

An early Sunday morning start in London, then a 2 hour flight to Palma and arrival mid afternoon was greeted with something we didn’t want to see - grey clouds! Our first port of call was to visit the hire car company to pick up our car for the week - what a nightmare. We were supposed to be given a number for service, but didn’t receive one and didn’t realise until half an hour later. The place was full of Germans who were waiting in line behind us but none of them had the decency to let us go before them even though they had arrived much later than us.


90 minutes later we finally received our car and made the journey to our hotel. We didn’t have a detailed map so went off memory from a few weeks earlier - bad idea. We got very lost and another 90 minutes later we finally made it to our hotel, which was very tucked away in a place called Platja de Palma (Palma Beach). We must have been the only English speaking guests, there were lots of Germans looking to party. That night we enjoyed our first buffet of the trip, something we didn’t get tired of at all (I probably put on a few kilos during the week). Later on we set up in the bar and kept having just one more beer, before we knew it, it was midnight and we were due for a 7am start to film the next day.


On this trip there were 3 of us, Tom the cameraman and also Will, a young project co-ordinator. Over the week we would have many laughs and push ourselves to the brink of exhaustion, but it was a great experience.


The first day set the tone for the entire trip. We started at 7am and finally finished at 10pm, every day was the same. There had been a model organised for shots in the spa complex of the first hotel, but even she ran ½ an hour late. The spa was not great for the equipment, it was a humid 30+ degrees and constantly we had to defog the lenses. The shoot went smoothly, felt sorry for the model though as we made her walk in and out of the pool numerous times, go in and out of saunas and then finally play with an ice machine (it drops little ice flakes into a bucket where people then can rub the ice on their body, weird but refreshing). Our remaining time there we spent doing more general hotel shots.


That afternoon we made a journey from Palma to Cala Ratjada, stopping at a few small towns to film typical Spanish villages (I would much rather return here for a few days than the busy tourist areas). Then it was to the next hotel, which featured a spa overlooking the ocean, it looked amazing. Unfortunately we needed blue sky in the background, what we got was a torrential downpour which didn’t let up for hours. We changed our plans and stayed that night in that hotel in the hope that the morning would be fine, no such luck. The hotel was nice, in a quiet area, great food and another great spa complex which we took advantage of.


After realising we weren’t going to get the weather we needed, we rescheduled to film the hotel later in the week and headed to Alcudia to film another hotel - the one we would stay at for a few nights. The hotel was right on the beach so we needed bright sunshine, but yet again the weather disappointed us. The beach was packed and looked great with the typical straw umbrellas filling up the sand. Later in the day we had more models organised, this time a model family enjoying a family hotel. It all went smoothly, but then we headed to the nearby beach to get funny looks from the tourists and to be wary of police as we didn’t have permits to film. The poor kids were thrown into the freezing cold water but did a great job. The male model blew us away when he told us he was 43 years old - he had the body of a 23 year old - hope I look like that when I’m 43! Next it was off to the old town of Alcudia to film more scenes. I grabbed a video camera for the first time on the trip and got lost in the maze of streets. Sometimes I became a tourist and enjoyed the sights until I realised that I should be working.


That night we retruned to the hotel we had stayed at on our previous trip to film the amazing pool, rooms and restaurant. We were treated the 5* buffet again and met some great staff members, fantastic characters. Finishing at 11pm that night, it was back to the hotel and the first signs of exhaustion were starting to creep in.


Next day was a 7am wakeup - a sleep in. We visited one of the local golf courses to film. Our model was one of the managers of the hotel chain and was a great golfer. He had an absolute ball and quite often let us know just how great he shots were. At one stage we set him up to try to sink a 15 metre putt, which he needed to hit up a slight angle and curve in. After 5 takes, he got it in, it was a great shot both for him and on the video. We spent 3 hours toruing around the course in buggies which was great fun.


That afternoon was one of the highlights of the week, we went out with an adventure company that is associated with the hotel chain. We had 5 hours to film trekking, coastering, kayaking and more. We finally had a chance to enjoy ourselves and take a break for the week. We went on a short trek with amazing mountains on one side, then a huge bay on the other. Then we needed to film kayaking, which everyone enjoyed. We were taken to an unknown area that was perfect for coastering (basically holding onto cliffs and walking around them - looked weird but would have been fun - I was filming). Then everyone had to jump off a 10 metre ledge into the ocean - I had always wanted to do that and it was a great feeling to dive head first from such a great height. I left a few minutes after the others, who had disappeared into a cave under the cliffs. The preparation for the caving was hilarious. Tom stripped down to his speedos, an inflatable dingy was prepared for him (which seemd very unsturdy), and he hopped in with his video camera ready to be pushed through the cave. He had earlier been flirting with one of the ladies that ran the company and he managed to get her in the boat (that was only big enough for on person). We have great video footage of it, very funny. I don’t know how he didn’t get his camera damaged or wet, but they navigated him through the pitch black cave and out again. One part of the cave was great, all I could hear were voices in the distance, but I walked in feeling my wall by the cave walls. Then suddenly I found everyone in a large room. All you could see was an amazing blue glow beneath you from the sunlight outside. We kept going through the tunnel and all made it out safely, what a great experience. We had to say goodbye to our friends and make it to our next stop, back to the 5* hotel in Alcudia. The people that ran the adventure company were so passionate, such great people. We were fast realising that every member of staff we met through the hotel chain were great people and we managed to get to know them well even though we spent only a few hours with them. Will was great a making conversation with anyone he met, I found him quite amusing for the week.
The next day was a long one, we needed to catch the 8am ferry to another island called Menorca and then the 10pm ferry back to Alucudia and then drive all the way across the island back to Palma where we would stay at the big 5* hotel for a few nights. Menorca was great, the ferry ride very smooth and a good chance to catch up on sleep, only took an hour to get there. We got lost yet again in the main town, but quickly sorted our way out as the island wasn’t very big so very hard to get lost. At one stage we thought if we follow the coast, we were bound to find the hotels. Luckily the 4 hotels we needed to film were all located very close to each other. The atmosphere was much more relaxed in Menorca, more for families. The hotels were very nice, with huge pool areas and yet again great buffets! We didn’t get a chance much of the real Menorca as we spent most of the time in the hotels filming, but from driving through the old town, I thought this could be a place I could explore further.


The next day, another early day and another ferry, this time to Ibiza. No, this wasn’t to party, it was to work, surely we must have been the first ones to do that. The ferry was much more packed than the one to Menorca, this time with heaps of teenagers running around like headless chooks. The port was right near the old town, so we explored there to film for an hour, then made our way to the first hotel. It was a 45 minute drive and amazingly we didn’t get too lost. The hotels were starting to all look the same, but we filmed what we needed nonetheless. The next hotel called us to say they needed us urgently as the weather was turning nasty. We hastily made our way there and where lucky to be greeted by bursts of sunshine. We quickly grabbed the cameras and filmed on the beach while we could, then sat down for lunch. The road getting to this hotel in a place called Cala San Vincente reminded me of a cross between the great ocean road and the blackspur back home. Then in a small cove was the most amazing beach, all lined with numerous hotels. We did the filming we needed, and luckily the weather just got better, Within 2 hours the skies were clear and we even had time to take a well earned break on the beach. Tom found some locals enjoying a game of beach soccer so grabbed me to join in a game, it’s the first time I’d ever played the game. It was hard work, especially on sand, but we came back from 0-2 to win 3-2, even though we were playing with 2 ½ players, I was useless. Then the sea beckoned after drawing up a huge sweat from the game. I rushed straight in and jumped into the water. When I surfaced, I saw a jelly fish larger than a tennis ball about a metre in front of me. I quickly put my arms out to my side to swim away and then ZAP, I felt an electric shock, I had been stung! I didn’t see the one that got me, but made my way back to shore to inspect the damage. It didn’t seem too bad, just started bubbling the skin a bit and made my hand a bit red, but after putting some after sting spray on it, all I was left with was a tingly hand for the rest of the day. I can’t believe I’ve been swimming in Australian waters for all these years with deadly jellyfish, blue ringed octopuses and even the threat of sharks, but 30 seconds in the Spanish sea and I get stung.


My impressions of Ibiza were great, I’d love to go back and explore the other side of the island where we were away from the part goers. That night it was back on the ferry with the screaming teenagers and back to Palma. They let us out onto the ferry deck as we came into Palma, which was a great sight.


Next day, another early start and a day spent filming the hotel chains super 5* hotel. The models returned and we spent all morning filming them in the spa complex, receiving beauty treatments and then watching them freeze in the outdoor pool. Tom was at his worst this day, exhaustion had taken over, which I’m surprised when he told me he watched tv most nights until 2am and then started work at 6.30am. His mind was not with it and but we had to press on. Our male model had no problems in letting us know about the time as any minute past 12pm, he would charge us for. We ended up running 10 minutes over and I’m sure he will be quick to bill.


Then the afternoon came and the first mistake I had made to the itiniery, I had acciendently booked in more models for the afternoon and not the evening. We were enjoying a break when the phonecall came through that the models were waiting for us. We had to quickly get organised and change our plans, but it all went smoothly.


That afternoon we enjoyed some more time off, this time enjoying the 5* spa complex. They have so many different types of machines and treatments, we gave most of them a go. In the pool, there were areas where you could press a button a different types of water treatments would occur, it was great fun.


That night we enjoyed a proper 5* a la carte meal and enjoyed the idea that we only had 2 days til we returned home. Will was keen for me to try a gin and tonic, he said I would never go back to another drink after having that. We all got a round, it was terrible. Will quickly explained that it wasn’t a real gin and tonic and at this hotel we tried it again, just as bad.
The next day, we spent travelling all over the island to get the shots we had missed due to bad weather. The highlight was a trip to a town called Pollenza and up a windy road to the nearby hills. The vantage point from there was great, one side overlooking the bay and Pollenca town, another overlooking a the deep blue sea, another a sheer cliffs dropping a few hundred metres straight down into the water and the other side more mountains. We made it back to Cala Ratjada and filmed the spa with the blue sky background.


Unfortunately that night we had to check out of the 5* hotel and go back to the 3* one at Platja de Palma. The entire town was full of noisy germans all dressed in country colours. Tom was quick to point out it was Poland v Germany in the Eurocup and they were all out to watch the game. Tom would have been the only Polish person in town. We decided that night to head out into the masses and watch the game. We found this huge open bar than resembled a german beer hall and made our way inside. There were about a thousand noisy germans inside screaming and singing, the sound when germany kicked a goal was deafening. This is why I had come to Europe, to experience this kind of atmosphere, we had a great night. We bumped into an Irishman who had had tagged along with 2 german gymnasts and quickly we were all celebrating. By the end of the night we had consumed 2x 1 litre steins plus a few stubbies, so the next day we all had sore heads.


The last day on our trip we needed to go to Palma to film the city. It was weird driving around for a few hours on the wrong side of the road, but fun. One stage we got out of the car and decided to walk to get some good shots. Soon after a German tourist came up to us in a panic, we said we only spoke English. He explained that he had just been whacked on the head by theives and they stole his suitcase with all his passports and documents. His ear was the size of a golf ball and the local police simply told him to go find his embassy. Nobody was helping him, so we gave him a few euro to catch the bus to the embassy. So the first thing I experienced in Palma was Edmond having his things stolen, then the last thing another person being a victim of crime, it must be rife in Palma which is a worry. The last thing we needed to do was film Palma’s highlight, the cathedral and then it was back to the hotel to see if Will had surfaced from his big night out. A smooth ride to the airport and the trip home to London was what we had been waiting for.


The trip was a success and I really enjoyed it. The days were long and hard, but we still had time to soak it all up and had been lucky to experience Mallorca all expenses paid. It’s amazing the amount of people we met, such great people with great stories. Will and Tom were great to work with, very funny and easy to deal with. I don’t think I would return with Shelley however, the islands are not our idea of a good holiday, it’s packed with tourists and you don’t get a feel for the real Spanish culture. It’s not a pretty sight when we were on the beaches and saw so many people with bright red skin, so painful. There are pockets on the islands that are nice and secluded, perhaps we will discover those one day.

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