 viva la revolucion! |
can anyone tell me how to become a che guevara? or angela davis? or rosa parks, martin luther king, ionesco, or any revolutionary, be it a revolutionary counterracting a political, ideatic or any kind of defective system? yes, this still has to do with my travels, for i would be unable to want to create a revolution if it weren't for my travels back to my country. i don't know how many of you have felt trapped between two physically-distinct worlds, two cultures, two languages, two political systems, two continents, two mothers, two sisters, two brothers, two lovers?! many times i find myself lost in the states, unable to understand many of the cultural traits that together sum up american individualism (i would have to thank toqueville for his amazing article on american individualism). to better illustrate: "Selfishness originates in blind instinct; individualism proceeds from erroneous judgment more than from depraved feelings; it originates as much in deficiencies of mind as in perversity of heart." this was written around the early to mid-1800s. i would be crassly mad to accuse the american society at large for being guilty of individualism, a hunch based purely on instinct by comparison (with the society i grew up in). but i would be even more insane not to consider all that has been written so far about american individualism, the way america is seen through the eyes of a foreigner, and much more than that, america seen through the eyes of a stranger originating in a third-world country.
what to do with such affirmation, that america is guilty of individualism? let us consider yet another tocquevillian quote: "As social conditions become more equal, the number of persons increases who, although they are neither rich nor powerful enough to exercise any great influence over their fellows, have nevertheless acquired or retained sufficient education and fortune to satisfy their own wants. They owe nothing to any man, they expect nothing from any man; they acquire the habit of always considering themselves as standing alone, and they are apt to imagine that their whole destiny is in their own hands.Thus not only does democracy make every man forget his ancestors, but it hides his descendants and separates his contemporaries from him; it throws him back forever upon himself alone and threatens in the end to confine him entirely within the solitude of his own heart." oh, yes, heavy words.
yet, why do i still live and even thrive in a country so far from my heart's desires? well, change has come, and romania has not only escaped the inexpiable communist regime, but it has acquired, through its own lack of willingness to understand a foreign system fully in order to adopt it and adapt it appropriately to itself, a kind of democracy that only a thirld world country could have: a third-hand kind of democracy...how shall i explain this in humane terms? romania has been deprived of the goods that americans have had for decades, yes, DECADES!!! everything from good toilet paper (ahem!!), to exotic fruits, to colorful clothes (oh, and how colours work on our psyche...they do, they do), to a hearty and healthy influx of art, be it music, film, literature, etc. (i didn't grow up with any of these things, so, to meet up with america, was, as one can imagine, "EUREKA!!!" ) when romania shot down the communist regime, it plunged into an absolute ecstatic frenzy to acquire everything that has been forbidden to them. the problem, and pity, was that no one had the money to acquire these things. oranges, bananas, plane tickets to foreign countries, diesel and levi's clothes, they were all sitting nicely hung in windows, but that could never be bought.
now...what does one do when they want something so bad, but cannot have it? steal! ah, such a blatant answer. but this is what happens. maybe i won't do it (although i have, in NY, but that's another story, and too many years back), or any of you reading this journal. i also have an answer for that. because we can, and will be able to afford something with the little money we make. we won't worry about NOT EVER HAVING WHAT WE WANT, because america makes sure we will have it, if we work hard for it.
again: "Aristocracy had made a chain of all the members of the community, from the peasant to the king; democracy breaks that chain and severs every link of it."
romania is different. romania never made sure an honest job will bring results. so 90% of the romanian population decided stealing is good, on small or large scales, because there was no other way to get the things desired. the chain that america broke, but made sure to keep intact financially-speaking, exists in romania now, as result of mass-corruption, a chain that is both broken and crushed - in fact, the chain had never worked properly.
as a result of all this, i feel trapped. i am unable to live in a country where my soul resides, romania. i am unable to live where the social life is what i am used to, and envisioned would be, until the day i die. yet, i live in a country where my heart's desires can be quenched, simply because it's possible. all that i am passionate about, all the material things i would have never had in romania, i have in the states. and yes, it's blinding. i love america for what it's given me, for teaching me the best and the worst, for opening my eyes. furthermore, i don't even want to live in romania, corruption is much too much, and there will come a time where i won't be able to afford something, anything, and i will resolve in stealing, indirectly. the black market is what undermines any desire to come back here to try to save this country. at the same time, paradoxically, this black market might be able, itself, to save romania.
to better illustrate, concretely, the black market has brought a lot of computers to romania. stolen. all that have been unable to buy this (now-accepted) common good, are now in possession of the greatest and latest technologies. internet brings information, thus, one day, maybe more than just a few will see that romania will bury itself alive, unless it decides to adopt the GOOD things that the western world has to offer. not individualism, and material posessions, but also the resources (and implicitly the creation and adequate support systems) that make it civilized.
until then, i am still dreaming up to be the "bad that changes the world" (in my father's words, who thinks me insane for thinking any of this above-mentioned "bull-shit.") silly, silly, but hey, it doesn't do me any harm.
next time i will try to emphasize to importance of two fundamental concepts that could, theoretically, change the world. they're as simple, as they are ambiguously and supposedly impossible to attain.
until then...ciao, ciao.
ps: well, once i'm done with my revolutionary thoughts (they all stem from the pain i have in my heart seeing romania decay, really...), i will show the beautiful side of everything. EVERYTHING. :)
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June 26th 2006 - Amia: i'm not a nationalist, but want to speak the truth
I searched the word: “America” in “wikipedia” and found this:
"Ethnology
The population of the Americas is made up of the descendents of three large ethnic groups and their combinations: the native inhabitants of the Americas, being Amerindians, Eskimos, and Aleuts; Europeans, mainly Spanish, English, Irish, Portuguese, French, Italian, German and Dutch; and black Africans. There are also more recent immigrants, such as from Eastern Europe, the Middle East, and Central and Eastern Asia.
The majority of the people live in Latin America: most of Latin America is Spanish-speaking, with Portuguese-speaking Brazil as the major exception. Latin America is typically contrasted with Anglo-America where English, a Germanic language, prevails: namely, Canada and the United States (in Northern America) have predominantly British roots and are quite different in terms of linguistical, cultural, and economic situation from other countries in the Americas."
So who are the American People? They are people from all over the world who immigrated to find a better life. It's no wonder America has everything Romania lacked during the communist period or presently lacks. USA is a great place to be because everyone there wants to be the best they can be, wants to have a great life. USA is young and, like any teenager with perfect opportunities and enthusiasm, can turn the world around for itself. While hope and lust for life are normal for America, the situation in Romania doesn't look so pink. However nothing is unusual. Just think about it: the population is much smaller and financially challenged, the position of the country has made it a target or an impediment in the way of larger countries in Europe, the troubled history (and I’m not talking only about communism) has left its scars in the personality of the Romanian people. They never had it easy. They are tired of fighting and lack enthusiasm...
However bad the situation looks with us I have to underline the fact that we can not generalize. There are a lot of intelligent people in Romania, with ambition and creativity, but, as they are a minority, they don't have many options either. Come on Dana! You do have friends here, don't you? This means not everyone steals or is up to cheating...As long as there are still good people here there is hope too. After all, history is not made by the masses, but by those few exceptional individuals who can make a change.
However much you want to make a change in your natal country, your hopes are in vain and this is why: The change must come from within and this requires people in the country, good ones that sacrifice their own personal goals to open the eyes of those around them. You are not in Romania anymore and you left your natal country for your own interest: to make something of yourself, something that you could not have become if you would have stayed here. However, reaching your personal potential outside of Romania will help it very little. I’m not saying your efforts will all be for nothing, but thinking of yourself first will first do you well and only afterwards it will help your country.
June 26th 2006 - Amia: in addition
The good news is that one can become the next “Che Guevara, Angela Davis, Rosa parks, Martin Luther King, Ionesco, or any revolutionary” anywhere in the world if he wants it so. Ionesco was Romanian and made it even if he did not live in Romania. So did Eliade. There are those who lived in Romania and when they finally understood they could not make an impact on their compatriots, they left seeking ears to listen to their message elsewhere (take Caragiale for example). But there are some who remained here and tried to evolve in a rotten society. They were a product only of this environment and the only contact with the outside world was through culture (books mainly). Someone heard their voice even as it was getting suffocated by the stupid and the unworthy.
I am surprised that you say:
“romania has been deprived of the goods that americans have had for decades, yes, DECADES!!! Everything from good toilet paper (ahem!!), to exotic fruits, to colorful clothes (oh, and how colours work on our psyche...they do, they do), to a hearty and healthy influx of art, be it music, film, literature, etc. (i didn't grow up with any of these things, so, to meet up with america, was, as one can imagine, "EUREKA!!!" )”
During the communism, people lacked many of these things, but not any more. Even then, they managed to buy from people who brought them from abroad. Nowadays, they do have good toilet paper and natural food is available at a cheaper price than it is in most civilized countries. Original clothes and exotic fruits are everywhere and, as much as people complain (because they are used to do this), they do have money to buy them.
I don’t believe YOU were deprived of any of these things while growing up. Your mother took care you had things other children never did (like exotic fruits). Your father was in America while you were growing up and he supplied some stuff children dreamed of…So, your childhood was never as black as you say it was….You used to travel a lot inside the country, you skied and skated, you had a bike and skateboard, you ate everything your heart desired, so why do you complain about these things? You never missed them. They were just as normal for you as they are in America. Perhaps they were a luxury for others, but they weren’t for you or me. You are now looking at your childhood with the eyes of the adult emigrant that wants to underline the negative aspects of Romania…
What hurt me most is the fact that you said art suffered and perhaps suffers now as well. It isn’t true. You got a good education while growing up and theatre, music and literature have always had a vivid existence here. You did not participate to any of the social activities of this kind because you were young and you didn’t understand several of them. I’ve seen a lot and learned many things since I’ve met people who share my passion for graphics and painting. A whole world of imagination and creativity lives in this god forsaken country. A lot of literate persons leave the country and become a “smashing success” abroad. I’m sure they wouldn’t if they didn’t have anything to say and if this environment was so poor culturally speaking.
well, let us not turn to encyclopedias for such silly formal definitions one gives in writing. of course america is many things and many people, but to quote an encyclopedia is probably the worst thing one can do, in order to define this great country. i live there, breathe there, and have spoken to many, because i know i don't know everything. furthermore, my impressions are formed "on the field" so to speak, and not from readings performed in a foreign country. americans are those who have been born there, even first generations born from immigrant families. my children will probably be american, if they're born there. it's just the way it is. just because they'll be speaking romanian, and learn about romania, they will never be truly romanian. not to mention their daddy WILL NOT BE ROMANIAN.
i understand you want to show me you know about america, as well as romania, but there is so much more to your words, and mine also. once you reach amercian land you will understand.
June 28th 2006 - Amia: further more...
I used a dictionary especially because i have no personal experience in America. America is good, America is better. It is your dream coming true. No one is saying differently. But, you seem to say that nothing is good in Romania. You underlined only the negative aspects and said nothing about the good things in it. Just because you didn't have any happy experience here, and because you "met" with your ideals there, doesn't mean that Romania is all bad.
If you don't think i can compare the 2, why are you doing it? There is no comparison between ROM and USA because they are 2 separate worlds and you lived in the first one as a child thus with a limited perspective.
Was your childhood that disappointing? The way you describe this country is the way your friends see it...(I am offended you are creating such an image to underline the fact that you want to help Romania --- why do you want to save it if there's nothing to save it for?)
or rather compared USA and Romania. i don't think i used any term that put america on a higher level than romania. saying that romania is a thirld world country isn't even something pertaining to a hierarchical system, insomuch that it's A FACT, not established by me. furthemore, yes, i was wrong. romania isn't a TWC, but a second-world country, a developing country.
it looks like what's happening here, is in fact, patriotism, an almost cynical apporach to those who have seen and lived in other places. i cannot blame you. you live here, and have to deal with what is here. i would have probably done the same. but in my case, having seen what "civilization" can offer to, let's say, an artist, i cannot help appreciating these resources.
go back and read the blog "viva la revolucion." i probably said as many "bad" things about the US. i didn't mean to target romania. what i said about my natal country was coming from my heart, whether you like it or not. it wasn't put there for anyone's liking. it was an opinion, and really, i didn't plan to open up any polemical discussions, at least not on this site. but as you have it, i will answer your every question, or stand up for myself.
alright. so. you don't have to excuse yourself for being a nationalist. but don't attack me for talking about what i have been offered in the states. matter of fact, it was i who chased down what was already there, in the states. and frankly, romania isn't doing well at all. look around you. you mentioned the arts. if you think the arts are treated ok, think again. go abroad. you will see the difference. really! the museums are decrepit, art events are rare and haphazard. plus, i never once mentioned there aren't any great minds in romania. in the contrary, there are so many! now, THAT makes me proud. so, i never attacked the lack of great minds, but the lack of opportunities. you see, i think change will come, and i KNOW it will be from within. never did i aspire to change something from outside romania. all your arguments are based on figments of what you "thought" i meant, not what i really meant. go back and read over the blogs. you will see that what i feel for romania is HOPE more than anything else.
and, again, you shouldn't be offended by the things i say on this blog. it's just my opinion. your reactions are, and i am repeating myself, coming perhaps from your own frustrations that so few from within teh country refuse to do anything from it.
i love romania. i do. i said in my blog that i am torn between the two countries, remember?
and one more thing: my childhood WAS difficult. believe it or not. just because your perception of it comes from what little you saw of me every year, that is not equal with truth. it may have seemed that my life as a child was glamorous, and there is one thing you are right about: i did travel, and had some things other kids didn't have, but that only came with my parents' intense love and HUGE sacrifices. logically speaking, I SAW MANY PLACES, BUT I ALSO SAW THE SACRIFICES MY PARENTS MADE. you weren't there for it, you were a simple temporary spectator. furthermore, there have been MANy times where we didn't have things to eat. hard to believe, no? well, yes. my mother chose not to eat in order to give us food. you don't know these things because you weren't supposed to know. why would you need to anyway?
look, i'm not victimizing myself here. what was, was. remember that i said "romania lacked things", i didn't say "I lacked things."
and one more thing: change will never come if you don't ackowledge romania's difficulties are real. if you go ahead thinking romania isn't so bad, then, well, good for you. but revolution never came out of complacency. you think that making statements detrimental to romania is an attack? no, no. if no one does it, than this country will fall, and will do it badly. we all need to acknowledge the corruption, and the bad things in general, in order to better them, don't you agree?
oh -- and by the way, try stay in the dorms in bucharest for a day, and see if you like it. then, only then, come tell me that this country doesn't need help!!! you have been nurtured well, treated like a queen in your family, you have been so cocooned in your world that you fail to see what is going on, and frankly, i cannot be the one to open your eyes. and i don't want to.
i want to change the world!!! all of it. impossible? i say nay!!! i have big dreams, i do. it shouldn't bother anyone. does it bother you? i may be delusional, but i am utterly happy to be aware of the world's greatest problems. one can see the good after seeing the bad, no?
check this out: promise me you will read "Ecce homo" by Nietzsche, and then you will understand.
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