back in the past...and looking forward to the future...

I grew up in a country which didn't have much to offer at that time(80's-90's Romania). We didn't have much.We didn't have bikes to ride after school. We didn't have extra-curricular activities and after-school clubs.We didn't have cricket club or drama or piano lessons or swimming or riding...all we had was school.And books.And loads of homework.This was a Communist country where the only entertainment we had was one hour of cartoons on TV on Sunday. And many times not even that. The power cut would often take away this only pleasure we would so much look forward to. It was tough and we sort of knew it was tough. Subconsciously we guessed it could be better.Oranges and bananas were special gifts we would get from Santa only at Christmas. Holidays were to stay at home and read and watch TV or go to the countryside and visit grandparents.Going abroad? A holiday in Spain? Not even a faint dream.Leaving the country was actually a no-no politically and financially. Romanian winters are cold, sometimes reaching negative degrees.There was no heating systems in most schools or if there was, there never was enough money to actually use them. We would dread winter and go to school with our warmest coats - and the heaviest as well- and we would keep them on us all through the day.It was too freezing cold to take them off.

I am in London now.And know a different life-style.Where things are easy and come easy. Where the worst public English schools are much superior to the best schools we ever had in Romania. Where it is only natural to spend the holidays abroad, in exotic places.Where you can choose exactly want you want to do for fun, from footie to drama, acting, etc. Where things come easy and are taken for granted.
I found myself envying the childhood these children have...and spending a lot of time with English children I found myself unconsciously going back in time and relive some moments from my childhood. Remembering all these things I've mentioned here and which are actually just a few drops in the ocean...

Would I wish it would had been different? ...The first 7 years of our lives are said to have a great impact on our future and our personalities.I remember spending much of my childhood doing homework - we had serious homework and assignments from year 1 which would take daily at least 1hour and a half to finish. I wanted to take up piano and Mom took me once to a piano teacher and I was so keen on it. I never went again.Either Mom didn't have enough money or enough time .

The feeling that predominated all through secondary school and high-school was that I wanted something more and better from life. I first realized that there must be something more and better when the Communism collapsed in 1989 and we could see the revolution on TV.I was only 9 and didn't understand everything and we weren't really allowed to talk about what was happening.Badmouthing the authorities would most often lead to arrests, imprisonment and even death.So talking about Ceausescu - the Communist dictator - wouldn't be done- not even in the intimacy of the family.
I remember once I was only 7 or 8 and passed with my Mom by a book shop. All the books displayed in the windows were about Ceausescu and his great achievements and on the cover of all the books there was his picture. And I naively said to my Mom:
-He's always on all the covers.Why can't there be something else?
My mother told me to shut up as she was afraid somebody might hear us. It might sound ridiculous, but you could have been sent to jail just for a silly comment like that ( obviously the parents, not me, for instigating the children against the party).

Back to my question now: do I envy this life-style that developed countries such as England has to offer to their children? Do I feel pity or sorry or misfortune?
The answer is no. You see, the childhood I had and the hardships we had to face, as a nation,made us damn strong. Made me struggle to have better and to appreciate the smallest things. Here everything's taken for granted and people don't have to fight for achieving things. Things come damn easy here. There is no poverty here- no, I'm wrong! You can see even in London some run-down areas with dodgy houses and untidy streets.But again, this is because of laziness, people that don't care and just don't mind tomorrow.

It feels good to put all these thoughts down.It really really does. I can't change my past and my mother country, I can only look back and be grateful that actually all these things gave me a zest for success, the confidence and determination to pursue my dreams and to know for a fact that nothing is impossible.

I'm taking baby steps here in London, and after 8 months here I finally got into a great school ( www.londonschoolofmarketing.com ) and had my first lecture on Marketing. I cannot describe how excited I am and how much I love it! It was a 7 hour lecture ( with breaks :P) after a night of partying which ended at 2.30. The alarm clock rang at 8.00 but I was't tired at all! I just couldn't wait for the first day of lectures to begin!

I'll keep you posted on how things are going! Now, I'm taking another break and am heading to Belgium for 2 days!

---

---