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Published: August 9th 2007
Kotor
Old town from aboveThis is to be no ordinary blog, this is a Super blog. 2 1/2 countries (I'll explain the 1/2 country later) enroute to Greece.
First up, the world's newest nation, Montenegro, after it broke the shackles from Serbia, its beligerant compadre up north who, for once, didn't retaliate by bombing the daylights out of one of its perceived fledglings flying the coop.
Initial impressions of Montenegro.
* our first passport stamp - are they a little more officious?
* road rules - 50kph with 40kph in built up areas. Zero blood alcohol limit. Of course headlights compulsory at all times, a rule that again caught me out. When tourist ignorance, always ones first choice weapon of defence, doesn't work, its time for some good ol Aussie BS to avoid the 30 euro on the spot fine. I'll keep that one a secret but it has also worked for me twice in Bali with their corrupt Police.
*weather - go on, have a stab in the dark. Those of you who have mentioned nouns such as thunder, lightning, rain etc. go straight to the top of the class.
*National anthem - all together now to the Wiggles "Hot Potato" - Montenegro Montenegro
Kotor
Now that's a fjord, I think. Kotor Kotor
*Infrastructure - the amount of public works going on would rival China per capita. Roads, hotels, apartments. There is a huge tourist push with the ethos "If you build it they will come".
We only had 3 days to spend in Montenegro so we settled for Kotor due to its central location. Kotor's travel brochures write of itself - " beatifully nestled at the foot of brooding mountains in a magnificent corner of Southern Europe's deepest fjord." I'm guessing here but I'll wager Kotor is in a magnificent corner of Southern Europe's ONLY fjord. By the way, what distinguishes a fjord from a bay? Could somebody fill me in please.
Cynacism aside, early the next morning under clear blue skies, standing atop the realistiaclly UNrestored fortification overlooking Kotor hugging THAT fjord, not another tourist within sniper distance, (warning, ugly poetic licence imminent)
Nothing could be finer
Than to be in Montenigra
In the, Mooooooooorning.
PLUS, they sell the Montenegran version of lamingtons here. Penny gave them a 7.5, though you'd swear they warranted a 9.5 as we tucked in like crocodiles at the wildebeast migration.
With a schedule to meet and nowhere near enough time in Montenegro, it
Kotor
Old town from ground level was off Kotor to Macedonia.
Twas a long drive, but the first views of Lake Ohrid as we approached the border from way up high were stunning. They were just as stunning driving away 1 hour later. Driving away? This is where the 1/2 country comes into play. One must constantly keep abreast of visa restrictions in this part of the world. As the guy at Immigration told us, "No visa, No Macedonia. Go to Embassy!"
So we chose option 2, NO MACEDONIA. Not only that, I'm gunna write another book (I seem to be threatening to write a lot of books when something doesn't go to plan). "Alexander the Average" I'll call it. It will spit on the red tape of Macedonia's Border policies and will try and cover the fact that I should do more research next time.
Now it's time for a quick quiz.
Which country do old Mercedez Benz go to for retirement? I'll give you a clue. It's the same country where surplus Fosters Beer umbrellas are sent.
Did anybody guess Albania? Well done.
Without exaggerating, every second car is an old Merc. The Fosters umbrellas I can't explain. Maybe Fosters is Albanian for beer
San Stefan
Looks great, pity it's locked up for tourists but like in San Stefan nobody sells the actual brew.
When the EU convenes to discuss which countries may warrant consideration for entry into the family, Albania is one nation whose name never pops up. 50 odd years of communism, isolation and a dictator can do wonders for your economy and international image. Communism now is but a distant memory but to really wipe the slate clean, Tirana's (the capital city) artist mayor has decreed buildings be painted as brightly as possible. "See, look at our gaudy buildings, we're not commies any more."
But then things ARE on the improve. the day before we arrived, George bush himself was in town. Albania on an international PR roll. George W one day, Colvin/Yeates the next.
I could ramble on about Albania for days but I would lose you. So a few quick observations:
# shitet means "for sale."
#lavazho means "car wash" and is Albania's biggest industry. There are almost as many car wash emporiums as second hand Mercs.
#haute cuisine and Albania should NEVER be mentioned in the same sentence, except maybe in the deep south where Greek influence sees a little improvement.
#Albanian wine deserves it s reputation as........
San Stefan
Pebble Beach, far away in time you can work that out for yourselves.
#intellectually handicapped people in Albania don't have an institution where they may be cared for so they simply hang out on trains and train stations. Anybody coming here MUST do the train ride from Tirana to Durres. You may not enjoy it but neither will you forget it.
#Albania would challenge Papua New Guinea as the BO capital of the world.
I shall now cease with the negatives as I'm sure it sounds as though Albania is a chore. It's tougher than some places, but chew on these more positive observations.
#the people are WONDERFUL. They get a shocking wrap, particularly from Italy, due to their ill reputed refugees. From our experiences you'd be hard pressed to find a more congenial race. Smiling, helpful, courteous.
#the police are phenomenal. They can't do enough for us.
#the price is right. We have a hotel room averlooking the tranquil Ionian coast and its islands for 20 euros a night. Bargain basement Europe.
# the beer from Kosovo - 1 euro and like an angel crying on your tongue.
Finally, travelling is an education. In Cronulla I am always perplexed by the doof doof car syndrome.
Durres
Fosters, it's Albanian for beer. By the sea in Albania, when a doof doof car slowly cruises along the main thoroughfare at 6 million decibels, young girls rush to the balconies to geek at the equally young guys in the cars. Light bulbs ignite over heads. It's a Mediterranean mating call!!! Unfortunately for the doof doof boys back home, doof doofing at the beach is a bit like a peacock showcasing its feathers to a pigeon. Give it up fellas.
Yeatesy
The computers in Albania are slow, really slow, so my blog is being condensed as I write.
Montenegro. Arriving in rain but having the rest of the time with perfect clear blue skies, moved Montenegro up on the scale. With very little english being spoken by anyone in Montenegro, it's easy to see why most of the tourists we came across travel in large groups across from Croatia for the day or come on large cruise boats and harbour in at Budva, soon to host the Rolling Stones in concert. But the tourist bureaus are really not yet set up for us foreign tourists - or maybe I've got it wrong. When we visited the town of Centinje, described as having many charming
Tirana
Lucky we bought first class tickets. stately houses, and saw two tourist buses, we thought we were on to something. Approaching the tourist office, a lady ressembling a tea lady points at us indicating that we should sit and wait as the person who mans the office is in the WC along with most of the tourists off the 2 buses in town. We wait patiently, all the tourists hop on their respective buses and leave town, still no sign of the tourist information person. Finally the tea lady look-a-like calls us over and opens the office. She is the tourist information person, but instead of dealing with us it was more profitable for her to collect a few cents off the people from the buses who needed to use the toilet! There is obviously more money in human excrement than directing tourists to "attractions". The other curious thing, the island of San Stefan features heavily on all their postcards and on the front of the brochures, but when you drive there to do the touristy thing it is locked up and tourists are not permitted. Go figure. However, Montenegro is spending plenty of money on their roads, hence driving at 50kph only. The Montenegrans have
Tirana
The capital under forboding skies style in the way they set up their towns.
We left Montenegro and headed for the Albanian border, slow and painful with Pepe getting a thorough look over and finally waved through. We drove across the country to the Macedonian border only to be turned back. This is the "character building" part Gary keeps reminding me about!. But we drove into the night and landed in a town called Durres. To make the day more frustrating, no one speaks english and no one wants to know about us trying to get directions. Well desperate people do desperate things. Gary drives into the middle of an intersection with a policeman directing traffic. I hop out with the guide book under my arm and point to where we think we want to be. A few mobile phone calls by the policeman, him ignoring the traffic, the next thing he is escorting us under flashing lights to a rendezvouz point to meet the person from the B&B we are trying to find. We meet Almar, Dr Almar in fact and she is a gynocologist she informs us. Dr Almar is so impressed with the assistance the police have shown us she offers the
Berat
A worthwhile transit stop on the way to or from Greece. policeman's wife a free pap smear. I don't know about you, but I told Gary if her ever came home and gave me an offer of a free pap smear I would be sending him personally to collect it. Dr Almar's B&B was the oldest building in Durres dated back to 18th century and was once the Austrian Consulate. Needless to say it needed some work, but was fine for us to lodge down for a couple of nights. So by midnight we headed out for something to eat after a long day. Unfortunately, Durras doesn't really have restaurants. Plenty of cafes and bars but not real food. So hot chips and coffee was the nourishment for the day. To make the stay even more homely we were woken each morning at 5am for the call to Allah. From Durres we moved south closer to the Greek border. Yes, big improvement, they have restaurants and real food. I can't describe the drive through Albania as picturesque, but it is something we will remember. Dotted all over the countryside are bunkers, big and small in pristine condition. And on the cement theme, masses of new development, multi storey buildings are everywhere
Somewhere in Southern Albania
This bloke couldn't decide if he wanted to build a boat or a house so this was his solution. along with the rubble and this bloke couldn't decide if he wanted to build a boat or a house so this was his solution. rubbish that never gets tidied up. As the Byzantines, the Romans and Ottermans may have had architectural influence, the biggest influence here in Albania has been William. William the concreter. Yes, as Gary says, he came, he saw and he CONCRETED. But William really needs the help from William the gardener, William the rubbish remover, William the roofer etc etc. Its a concrete jungle out there.
Penny
More images at:
www.colvinyeates.zenfolio.com
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Kel Mc
non-member comment
TV Stardom Awaits
Gaz, the boys from 13 told me of your blog and I've just been reading a bit whilst lazing by the water cooler in the lovely humpy town of Alexandria. Sounds like you're both having a great time with some spectacular pics to match. Word on the street is that Ben Dark from Getaway is nervously awaiting your return. All the best, Kel.